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I’m falling apart. ProphetsI’m tired of hearing stuff
likeandIt’s a fact that prophets have been wrong before (
seriouslywrong), so this doesn’t compute. ScripturesI’m tired of hearing about how awesome the scriptures are.
Quote:Throughout the ages, Father in Heaven has inspired select men and women to find, through the guidance of the Holy Ghost, solutions to life’s most perplexing problems. He has inspired those authorized servants to record those solutions as a type of handbook for those of His children who have faith in His plan of happiness and in His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ…
Because scriptures are generated from inspired communication through the Holy Ghost, they are pure truth. We need not be concerned about the validity of concepts contained in the standard works since the Holy Ghost has been the instrument which has motivated and inspired those individuals who have recorded the scriptures.
-Bro. Scott
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-power-of-scripture?lang=eng
An angel told Nephi “the Gentiles do stumble exceedingly, because of the most plain and precious parts of the gospel of the Lamb which have been kept back by that abominable church, which is the mother of harlots” (1 Nephi 13:34). Regarding this, Bro. McConkie said:
Quote:And yet, with all this, we cannot avoid the conclusion that a divine providence is directing all things as they should be. This means that the Bible, as it now is, contains that portion of the Lord’s word that a rebellious, wicked, and apostate world is entitled to and able to receive.
We doubt not also that the Bible, as now constituted, is given to test the faith of men. It prepares men for the Book of Mormon. Those who truly believe the Bible accept the Book of Mormon…
What?! If God directed it to be that way, then he must have guided the abominable church to mess with the bible, and that means God is divided against himself. And the bible is a test to see if people will truly believe a book that the mother of harlots corrupted. That is just messed up.The Sin Next to MurderThe
church continues to teachTemplesI just don’t like temples. It’s all weird to me. It sucks that those married civilly have to wait to be sealed. I don’t like wearing garments.
The church was once sure about black people being the seed of Cain and not being able to hold the priesthood. Those teachings have been condemned and/or disavowed. They were once sure the pattern for garments came directly from God and must not change. Now I wonder if the whole idea of garments are inspired at all.
The Big Test of FaithThere’s so much more to be concerned about. It shouldn’t be this hard to believe in God and the restoration. Believing without seeing is not enough – one has to believe despite a lot of contrary evidence. Why would God do it like this?
No help verbally here, but sending hugs and support to the peace able place in your heart. Maybe you and God should take some time off – or you could yell at him. Seriously punch back. I believe it helps. If you take time off, sink into Marcus Aurelius. I just read a book called Stoicism and Happiness – very inspiring. Read Eckhart Tolle, Mitch Albom and others. Focus on a new paradigm, let this one rest, even if you have to attend church for family. Take a book or article and read it when the day gets tough. Wow – I had a lot to say for no verbal help.
😳 Shawn, I am also not much help. These things weigh on my heart and mind as well and I don’t have any good answer other than I have had to come to a place where I feel comfortable believing what I believe to stay LDS, but some days and weeks are still pretty up and down.
I also send you good vibes and hope that you can find peace of mind and heart.
-SBRed
All of those things bother me to some extent as well, Shawn, and like our mutual friends Mom3 and SBRed, I have little to offer except a listening ear (or reading eyes as the case may be). For myself I have found comfort of late in believing what you allude to near the end of your post – the gospel of Jesus Christ is far more simple than it’s made out to be in the church and in the end I think nothing else matters. And this needs to be fixed on the church’s website now:
Quote:After HenrydesertedZina and the two little boys, Zebulon and Chariton, she married Brigham Young and crossed the plains to the Salt Lake Valley with his family. Ageed 100% Shawn. Peace friend.
I can feel you. I’ve fallen, maybe my list is different but the result is largely the same. Shawn wrote:The Big Test of FaithThere’s so much more to be concerned about. It shouldn’t be this hard to believe in God and the restoration. Believing without seeing is not enough – one has to believe despite a lot of contrary evidence. Why would God do it like this?
I
tryto embrace what you describe. If things were more obvious then the pursuit of truth and nearly every intellectual exercise would be fruitless and/or boring. Dare I say that contradictions give us an opportunity to exercise intellect. I tell myself that god didn’t supply the contrary evidence to test our faith. Contrary evidence is the natural byproduct of man’s attempt to define god in certain terms. Should we become more enlightened the contrary evidence of dated theories begins to stand out. It may be an indication that we made some wrong assumptions in the past and it’s time to make some new assumptions and start the process all over again.
The hope is that we are becoming more enlightened with each iteration. The ten million dollar question is what we do once we’ve decided one path is more enlightening to us than another.
I’m glad to read your post. I’ve thought about posting something in the support section for some time now but I always end up talking myself out of it. It’s nice to have an example of someone that’s brave enough to put themselves out there. Thanks.
Wish you peace of mind on the matter Shawn. Everything you said above is correct. Trust in yourself, take things one day at a time and don’t allow yourself to become bitter (nor passive). Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I could not reconcile everything. It caused me fits to wrap my head around everything. It all was so contrary to my experience and rational thinking. Then one day I realized it was probably all made up. It gave me the relief I was looking for and answered most of my questions. It really is the simple answer. I hear you. I have coined a word called a “Church-u-mony”. It’s like a testimony, but it’s all about how great the church is. There was a conference talk awhile ago that epitomized the church-u-money idea. The GA commented how the “sun never sets on the Kingdom of God” — the same way people used to say “The sun never sets on the British Empire”. He went on, and on, and on about how great the church was. It was sickening to me as I know from 30 years of experience that its great in many respects, but woefully inadequate in others. I pretty much agree with your frustrations, although I wouldn’t say I’m “sick” of it. but I would say that I think our religion emphasizes being a good Mormon over being a good person sometimes. Often if confuses the two — you leave a meeting thinking that to be a good person, you need to do your home teaching, never say “no” to calling, give all your disposable income to the church (and no other cause), clean the chapel, and help your neighbors move when they can afford to hire their own van and movers.
Anyway, enough said…
Coping mechanism – as I’ve said before, put your conscience first in the heirarchy of “should makers” in your life. Listen to what the church leaders say, the scriptures say (which is easy because most of the time they are very ambiguous), the church says, and then decide for yourself what you will believe or do.
Don’t be afraid to thinking critically (I mean in the academic sense) while not ignoring spiritual feelings, and most of all, being HONEST with yourself. Why do I not want to do that thing the church keeps harping about? Is it laziness? Is it because i like to sin, or is it because its truly wrong for me?
I think a risk associated with putting one’s conscience at the forefront is that we can often justify non-compliance on intellectual grounds when really, we just don’t want to do it. ‘
Shawn, you know you experience cycles that include times when you feel more despondent – when you feel like you are falling apart. God bless you in times like this. All I can say right now is, “Hang on. Take a breath. Avoid things that cause you to spiral, as much as you can. Focus on what you DO believe, and leave everything else alone until you start feeling better. You will start feeling better, so hold to that hope.”
Love you, friend.
I agree with you on many counts, Shawn. I’m sorry you are having a really difficult time. I am also trying to figure out what to do with the new information I have. The realities of polygamy, polyandry, etc., have really upset me, along with many other things. I can’t really reconcile what I have been taught with what I am finding out is the reality. I’m deciding day by day what I really feel like I should do, and I’m actually a bit relieved that none of my kids are much involved in church at this point. One year ago I was completely distraught by their reluctance to be involved. I was distraught that I felt my family was not a “forever family” in the church’s eyes, that I had failed and that my family was “falling apart.” Now I am rethinking all of the things I have been taught. My family is actually much improved in many ways from what it was a year ago (as far as how we are getting along and relating to each other, peace in the home, etc). Removal of all the shoulds and musts that the church proscribes has made our lives and spirits lighter.
I’ve gone from believing the church is perfect but the members are flawed, to thinking the members are mostly very sincere good people, and the church is what needs improvement to be in line with the gospel of Christ.
Sending a hug your way. Hang in there. Finding our way is very hard, and very painful, but hopefully it can lead to new enlightenment and a new way of being in the world.
I don’t have any words of wisdom but I understand and I’m so sorry. I feel frustrated by the same things you mention and I haven’t found a good coping mechanism yet. But Ray said it comes in cycles and I think that’s true for me too. Sometimes I feel like I can deal with all of it and then I go through a bad time when I’m angry and anything church related makes me crazy. I try to remember that the bad times usually don’t last and that helps me a little. Sorry you are having it rough Shawn, but know that many of us are thinking of you. Funny you should mention that quote in the Friend from some years ago. I, too, came across that and was pretty much disgusted. I was reading Todd Compton’s “In Sacred Loneliness” book at the time and was just curious what the church had ever said about Henry Jacobs. The result is that I have taken a bit of a reprieve for now on reading about polygamy. I’ll pick that book up at a later date. Hang in there — maybe it’s time to take a step back and just focus on Jesus and not so much “the Church”. I know changing my focus like that at times helps. Good luck and God bless.
Shawn – if it’s any help, during the Falling Apart seasons that I experience, I can feel so broken I don’t even know what to wear. That may sound strange but all purpose just washes out of me, many might say it’s depression and it could be, but it feels more like lack of real to me. I can think cognitively – I need to get dressed and it’s not that I don’t want to get dressed, I just really can’t figure out who I am dressing for, is it for me, is it for some one else – who is in charge. I get super wrapped by it. When I am there I wonder what any point in life is.
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