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I’m interested to know how members of the group have dealt with family scripture study and FHE. Did you have good experiences with these activities in your birth family? How are you making these experiences meaningful in your current family? Do you follow a structured approach these activities, or a more spontaneous approach? I’m afraid I don’t have one now. It’s something I miss actually. I used to go to the YSA one, but I’m too old now. As for the rest of your questions, I’m a convert and single, so they don’t really apply (no LDS family at all). We used to have a good one going in the ward before I became inactive.
borntolove wrote:I’m interested to know how members of the group have dealt with family scripture study and FHE. Did you have good experiences with these activities in your birth family? How are you making these experiences meaningful in your current family? Do you follow a structured approach these activities, or a more spontaneous approach?
My early experiences were OK but were basically just going through the motions.We either have a structured family night (80%) or a spontaneous family activity (20%) every Monday; We have scriptures & prayer (family devotional) 5 mornings a week, and it is very structured.
My 20-something daughter told me recently that it was the morning devotionals that really convinced her that we were ‘TBM’ people.
🙄 HiJolly
Growing up, FHE was very infrequent and family scripture study was flat-out non-existent. We were just too rambunctious and couldn’t hold still that long. In my family now, we have both on a fairly frequent basis. Both are fairly structured activities. We read a chapter a night and take turns reading three verses each. During FHE, we open with a hymn and prayer, share a lesson, end with a closing prayer, and play a board game. We’ve been reading the BOM as a family together, and last year we memorized the Articles of Faith as a family. If nothing else, reading the BOM has helped my kids become better readers. Both are reading above grade level. My eight year old daughter has really impressed me. When we started, my wife needed to help her with a lot of words, but she’s since picked up a lot of the more common ones and needs help a lot less frequently. In fact, being ever the astute one, she picked up right away on the fact that half the verses in the BOM start with “And it came to pass that…”
As for improvement in family relationships or testimony-building, I can’t see many improvements. The kids still argue and fight sometimes, and they both groan on Sunday mornings when it’s time to go to church. Maybe something’s happening under the surface, but we’ll probably need more time to find out.
I’m a fan of FHE in theory. Practice can be tough of course! It’s just so easy to get busy, but some of my favorite childhood memories are family game nights – and my parents still have those most Sunday evenings with whoever is around (most of us are nowhere near where they live). As to gospel content, that was always tougher. We never had morning prayer in my birth family (or in mine where I’m the mom). We sometimes would jumpstart FHE lessons for a while, but then they would peter out. In my current family, we started doing FHE by watching one GC talk per FHE – it’s a ready made lesson, and then you just each have to say one thing you got from the talk. Super easy! But even that often gets lost in the shuffle. It is a good way to go, IMO. As to scripture study, when I was a teen we had home study seminary, and since my parents are converts we did the seminary work together. They really enjoyed it, and so did I – doing that together – especially because as converts they always felt they were learning something new, even though they had been in the church a long time. But we haven’t really done scripture study with our kids beyond letting them listen to the scriptures on tape or CD at bedtime. Very . . . relaxing. I have moved away from a structured and mandated Monday night FHE and scripture study, and now do it Sunday or Wednesday or whenever we are all home. There is less pressure, but I find my kids thoroughly enjoy it and we laugh and have gospel discussions and discuss scripture stories. I enjoy letting the kids take turns reading and teaching lessons. I think they learn a lot from it and I learn by hearing their stage 2 and stage 3 viewpoints on the gospel. I have also started presenting my newer views on gospel subjects and found the family very interested in hearing my less than orthodox view they don’t get in Sunday classes (although my wife sometimes gives me a look as if to say…”that’s enough”) 😳 Our topics and approaches have changed a lot from several years ago when I was strict about it, but family time on
Spiritual topics is a good thing, IMO. It feels good in our home so we keep doing it. If it felt like a chore, I’d not bother and be more productive with our time.
Games and treats are good too!
In my non-member birth family we had no family home evening. But there was teaching and training at the dinner table, and once, my father held a family meeting when he lost his job. He told us the Lord was in control and that everything would be all right. That’s it. Now, I hold it regularly and it’s FABULOUS. We have a family cheer that espouses our values in a way children can understand. My children perform a song at the outset to develop their musical talents. We play a game, and the lesson is uber-short, but usually bearing on something that needs correction or improvement or training in our family.
Some of the FHE games I’ve invented for my family have become legends in the character of my children. I keep reminding myself that I only have these kids for a few years and then the opportunity to teach and to train while their minds are malleable will be gone.
Sometimes I go for two or three weeks without one, but after my schedule calms down, I hold it two or three times a week to catch up.
If there is one aspect of the Church that is easy to accept — it’s family home evening.
Scripture reading is a hard one. I tried it and I felt I was teaching hatred of the scriptures because frankly, the Book of Mormon just doesn’t read well to young children. So, I tried reading it with my daughter, and we did it for two weeks and she said “I’m going to do this on my own”, and then never did it.
So, last week I bought the Plain English book of Mormon and another Easy-to-read Book of Mormon. I plan to read a chapter at each FHE and see how it goes.
I have also asked the kids to each bring a scripture on a FHE topic and that has been good scripture study.
I’m afraid that scripture study is not a strong suit in our family, in spite of my efforts to date.
SilentDawning wrote:Some of the FHE games I’ve invented for my family have become legends in the character of my children. I keep reminding myself that I only have these kids for a few years and then the opportunity to teach and to train while their minds are malleable will be gone.
That sums it up perfectly!
To me, that is what it is about. Traditions, experiences, memories, and opportunities to be together (can’t have quality time without quantity).
It doesn’t have to center around Mormon teachings of salvation or the commandments, IMO..but whatever helps the family continue to keep our minds on goodly things (i.e. honesty, unselfishness, work, laughter, support…).
As L.Tom Perry said in last conference:
L.Tom Perry wrote:Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world. The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.
SilentDawning wrote:If there is one aspect of the Church that is easy to accept — it’s family home evening.
I agree!
I am a classic Fowler Stage 4er, and I can say that I have NO problem with FHE or scripture study. I have read the BOM from cover to cover with my kids twice, and we do frequent FHE – and I have no qualms about it. There is nothing negative to say about it. Occasionally I will find cases that i can “inoculate” my kids, but for the most part I have no problem teaching them stage 3 concepts and letting them “figure it out” for themselves later in life. I see it as not what it will do for them, but more as “what will it hurt?” I don’t think it will hurt at all – and that is coming from a guy who claims to be antagonistic existentialist? 😈 We are sporadic, but I believe the concepts are wonderful. It’s hysterical to listen to an evangelical broadcast while driving in the rural Midwest and hear a preacher who openly condemns Mormons to Hell turn around and encourage his listeners to spend one evening a week with their families – and then describe FHE exactly. Of course, he credited James Dobson and Focus on the Famliy without having any idea that Dobson got the idea from those damned Mormons.
😆
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