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Hey all, as I’m trying to navigate this new (and scary) path of remaining in the church but with my own twist of a meaning-based approach, I suggested to my family last night that we create a list of core family values. [As an aside, my wife is well aware of my current position, but my children are not.] These can be church based, but I was really hoping to create a list of broad-based ethical values that transcend religious dogma. The reason for this is that we are having some particular issues with our older teenage children and I find that they are lost in the “read, pray, be obedient” feedback loop. I don’t believe this is helping become balanced, well adjusted adults. I’d like to focus on these core values at the same time as we go through the home study course each week. Have any of you tried this approach? If so, or even if not, what would you place as core values for your family?
Some thoughts of things that are important to me (in no particular order):
* Family First
* Personal Relationship with god
* Love
* Integrity
* Kindness
* Tolerance
* Strong work ethic
* Loyalty
* Persistence
* Service to others
I’d love to hear others thoughts about this approach and/or what core values you teach in your families.
here goes. Self determination.
Preparation for the future
Love and acceptance in the home
Communication
Respecting each other
Your list is great. We have added
- safety
- Listening
- Candor
We have done something like this for during our faith crisis when we looked at walking away. I didn’t want to loose all of the “good parts” that I see in the church. Our children are younger 10,8, and 5. This however started about three years ago and I needed to make it super simple because of age. All the needs we wanted to address could be broken down into three things: – kindness – good natured, generous, indulgent, considerate, helpful, doing what’s right
– obiedence – willingness to comply or follow instructions
– respectful – a feeling of admiration or deference.
We had been going through what I thought was a difficult time with our eldest (normal kid behavior really) but it has worked well for the last few years. It also is awesome because I can ask all three children what exactly I expect. I also have made it clear that I do believe where these three things will get “lost” in some particular situations but that I want them to be contributing members of society and learn to work. It’s been years and we are still active, non TR holders, that try to help our kids and others. We have room for improvement as done all people.
I found a writer who makes a really good list: https://amymorinlcsw.com/mentally-strong-people/https://amymorinlcsw.com/mentally-strong-people/” class=”bbcode_url”> Love (Why do you do what you do?) Respect (Avoid judgment, especially without extensive input from the other person.)
Thoughtfulness (Think before you act. Act, don’t be acted upon.)
Honesty (Own your actions / decisions.)
I have thought about a values system based on the Sermon on the Mount, but that approach hadn’t hit me when our kids were young.
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