Featherina’s Comment on turinturambar’s support post

[Anonymous]

Here is the message I just sent to turinturambar:

Quote:

Featherina just can’t let go of the need to preach changing one’s sexual orientation. I’m sorry, but she just can’t do it.

I can lock the thread, delete the parts of her comment that mention that as a solution, delete the entire comment (since it also has a couple of other inaccuracies about what previous leaders have said and not said) or any other action you want me to take.

Tell me honestly and bluntly what you want done, since it’s your thread, and I will do it – and I will be talking with the other admins about it, as well.

What do you think about her comment? What is the proper course of action, especially since he has said multiple times that he has tried to change his orientation and it’s impossible.

[Anonymous]

I think you handled it fine.

I guess I don’t mind people bringing up the idea of changing sexuality. I don’t want to chase folks away on either end of the faith specturm … but I also think our site has to err more on the side of inclusiveness towards the fringe in Mormonism. Featherina can get support in lots of other places for her views on that. And quite frankly, she doesn’t have a dog in the fight like people we serve with SSA. She isn’t homosexual. She just seems to have a lot of know-it-all advice for homosexuals.

I don’t even think there’s a consensus among church leadership that people can simply change their orientation.

FWIW, Featherina sent me another PM complaining about you Ray, because she feels like you call her out in public on this and use your authority as a moderator to shape the conversations. Well DUHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t say that to her, but that’s what we do. She complained you should have sent her a PM and handled it privately. I disagree. And it’s ridiculously ironic she is complaining about that via sending ME a PM to tell you to contact her. I’m going to tell her to PM you herself if she wants a private chat about it.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she flagged my comment as inappropriate, so I read her message about me “harrassing” her. *sigh*

I want to keep her here for the good points she makes about so many things, but I’m at the point where I don’t want her commenting about homosexuality. Aside from the fact that she’s wrong about this particular topic (at least, in her insistence that anyone can change their sexual orientation), her comment was directed at a man who has said openly and publicly that he has tried to do so and can’t. It’s that total disregard for his words and, by extension, him and his struggles, that prompted me to comment as I did. She doesn’t understand that.

Brian, I don’t think I can discuss it productively with her right now, so if you can make the points above to her, I would appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Featherina’s comment was trying really hard to be kind, but seemed to me to be insensitive to T, even if Featherina has the best of intentions.

I’m good with how you handled it Ray, if T. also feels supported. Did he reply about locking the thread or what his response to her comments was?

This is a support group, not a “we have solutions to fix you” group.

I’m OK with leaving Featherina’s post up, and then moderating the thread to make sure that is not perpetuated as a solution. It was said. It was noted, and now move on to what T. wants support on. If it was helpful to T. then further discussion can be allowed. If he doesn’t want another person telling him he hasn’t tried hard enough yet, then Featherina should feel her voice was heard, and it is not helpful at this time, so shut up and keep those comments to herself…its not helping. I compare it to telling cwald he needs to keep going to church and listen to his SP (which I don’t believe, just an example)…well, that may not work, so can’t we just discuss topics and accept cwald may not go to church? We should be able to, without telling people what to do.

I wouldn’t mind telling Featherina that in a PM, but I feel I might be sticking my nose in…Brian’s already been contacted. Tell me if you want me to get involved, but my opinion is to forge ahead as is.

[Anonymous]

She hasn’t responded to me after my reply to her, pretty much letting her know that I supported the direction of things as they were. If it pops back up, I can intercept and deal with her.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, Brian.

[Author]

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