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Hello : I am feeling so torn as a member of the church mostly for my wife My true faith is that of mainstream Christianity i.e. Billy Graham type stuff. We as a couple cannot even discuss this she gets very very angry is it possible to maintain my membership in the church for her while having traditional beliefs? This walking a tightrope is very difficult indeed!!!! I often get frustrated with myself a d do not dare disclose my true feelings!! Hi Rebel, So you left the church but then were rebaptized. Did they ask about specific beliefs in JS or living prophets when you were rebaptized?
When I was in the depths of my faith crisis, I met with a Baptist minister and he told me something that will always stick with me. He said, “You can be saved and be Mormon, but it won’t be the Mormonism that saves you.”
I hope that the grace of Christ makes you feel free. You are free to live in such a way that facilitates harmony in your marriage. You are free to testify selectively about the power of the atonement, the meaning of the sacrifice of Jesus on your behalf, and the significance of having a personal relationship with him. (I say selective because you may find it helpful to emphasize common beliefs and common ground and remain silent about differences).
I also wonder if you might benefit by reading the book “Believing Christ”. It shows how thouroughly pauline Christianity is taught in the Book of Mormon. I also really enjoyed the book “The Shack” (not the Movie). It is a fictional account that got me to think deeply about several Christian concepts.
I wish you well and I hope posting here about your struggles and challenges is helpful.
Thanks Roy !!! Your words are helpful and faith promoting it is much appreciated sometimes it is nice to have some of our thoughts validated through others. God Bless you. I understand brother. All humans crave acceptance and validation. They are needs. Back up for this response. It may come off strong. But if you believe in Billy Graham type Christianity, than forgiving your wife, her inability to understand you is key to being a good Christian. Think “Unbroken”.
One of the strangest ironies of being a believer (of any faith), is that most of us don’t live by the most key tenets of the faith – Love. Love your neighbor, pray for them that despite-fully use and persecute you, Love your enemies. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
We get so wrapped up in professing and announcing “our” beliefs, we totally dismiss everyone else.
Billy Graham would want you to serve your wife with sincere love, forgiveness, mercy, kindness.
You hold the keys to your Christianity. It’s up to you how you plan to use them.
I am going to remain quiet on doctrine we do not agree on as Roy suggested and highlight the things we do agree on . Quote:
I am going to remain quiet on doctrine we do not agree on as Roy suggested and highlight the things we do agree on .I pray you do well, find peace, and have success.
Roy always has good advice.
I think the advice here is all great! I just wanted to also add that there’s a podcast actually called Marriage on a Tightrope that is specifically about a mixed faith couple and them still figuring things out. It’s a very uplifting podcast, and they interview other couples who are also mixed faith. As far as I know, they are all couples with one spouse in the lds church, but I haven’t listened to all their interviews. But the main couple on the podcast is made of an lds wife and a husband who doesn’t believe anymore, and they live in Utah. Here’s the link to their page: https://marriageonatightrope.org/ I wish you and your wife all the best, and I hope things are able to work out.
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I agree, Roy does give great advice. He has helped me numerous times. In addition to his suggestion of reading Believing Christ I would also suggest The Christ Who Heals. When I was in my faith crisis my wife was (and is) a true believer. We couldn’t discuss anything without her becoming defensive and argumentative. Fifteen years later I’d say much of that remains the same, although I now believe more than I once did and her beliefs have evolved a bit as well. Still, I only discuss stuff with her that I think we have common ground on. All the rest is for here.
I have not read “The Christ Who Heals” but I love the other works of Brother and Sister Givens. I looked it up on Amazon and it sounds like it would be an excellent choice. I have managed I think to make peace (finally) with most if not all of my issues with the church. As you know from my previous posts I believe more in mainstream christianity than Mormonism. I would like to say though that I also believe the church is filled with many good and well meaning people. I am still grateful for many tenets of Mormonism i.e. most of the wow , family time , emphasis on church attendance etc etc . I believe the BOM to be fiction but a divinely inspired book to bring people unto Christ. I have a small pocket cross I will not part with. I can truthfully answer all the Temple recommend questions even if my definitions are a little unorthodox. I have discovered all churches have ” issues ” The LDS church is still a good place to be !!!!! I guess my religious views are a hybrid so to speak. I dont think President Nelson is a prophet in the biblical sense but he is the leader of the lds church so yes he can be called a prophet. ALL IN all my faith crisis seems to be fading away and I thank God for that. It has truly been a nightmare in every sense of the word !!! I highly recommend to all that are having a faith crisis to read Planted by Patrick Mason it helped me a lot. I write about my own faith crisis to try and help others I plan hanging around on this site in the future just wish it were a little more active than it has been this past year as I feel their is a need to help struggling members. God bless all. Thanks for the update Rebels. I keep hearing about that book, “Planted”. I think I will have to give it a read. In my search for truth in mainstream christianity I have noticed that Real Christian’s Use of that term is loose always tell you to leave mormonism . Is it possible another words is the mormon umbrella large enough to accommodate someone with basic Christian beliefs such as mainstream christianity in mormonism ? Such as Roy may have elluded too ? Or am I just wacky crazy or whatever ? I also noticed that Coc just let’s you believe whatever you want. Hi Rebel!
REBEL2 wrote:
Is it possible another words is the mormon umbrella large enough to accommodate someone with basic Christian beliefs such as mainstream christianity in mormonism ? Such as Roy may have elluded too ? Or am I just wacky crazy or whatever ? I also noticed that Coc just let’s you believe whatever you want.
1) The umbrella of Mormonism is big enough to include COJCOLDS, COC, Fundamentalist groups, and a number of others.2) I assume that you are asking specifically about what is an acceptable range of belief within the COJCOLDS. There are a variety of answers to this depending on the circumstances.
A) You can believe quite a bit as long as you keep it to yourself (or at very least refrain from preaching it). You can also get away with believing more divergently if you are actively contributing and serving in the church or otherwise making a point to show that you are not trying to challenge church authorities or in any way make yourself a threat to the establishment.
There are several belief questions in the TR interview. You may need to parse or interpret them differently than the interviewer in order to answer in the affirmative. Conversely, you can be a member of the church and not hold a TR. Not holding a TR can be a blessing and a curse. If you do not hold a TR there is somewhat more freedom of belief because there is no threat of taking away your TR for non-compliance. On the other hand, not holding a TR may signal to some that you are out of step with orthodox church sources and that your views are more suspect.C) In these types of situations it can be helpful as I mentioned before to pull back to positions of common beliefs. Like Nephi you can say,
Quote:“I know that God loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the [historical accuracy of the book of Nephi]”
As always, thanks Roy !!!!!!! I am staying in the church no worries there just trying to reconcile a few things for myself. I used to believe in a binary way and that is some of what drove me out of the church. I am finding a nuanced way to believe, unorthodox if you will. God Bless.
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