Feeling sick, and scared

[Anonymous]

Hi, Eternity4Me – Thanks for asking your questions because I’ve enjoyed reading the comments. I hope you’re feeling more optimistic about your future.

nibbler wrote:

This goes along with DJ’s comment on separating the church from the gospel… remember, the gospel was true before Joseph Smith translated the plates. The gospel was true before Joseph Smith was even born. This might only shift the question to the church, can the church be true… Why the LDS church then? To tell the truth I don’t know… but the church was instrumental in getting me this far… and since I’m not done with my journey it seems like as good a vantage point as any from which to postulate.

I wish I had had this thought handy on Sunday when our daughter said that she feels the spirit when people at church testify of Christ, but not when they testify of Joseph Smith. She was asking if she still “has a testimony.” What I paraphrased for her was the JS quote:

Quote:

“The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.”

I like this because it’s Joseph Smith cutting himself down to size, and I think it gives us permission to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the comments and advice. They have helped me feel much more calm. I have taken a couple days to reply to you all because I have literally read the responses at least three times and let it sink in.

Mom3 wrote:

Quote:

One other idea you may take is make a list of what you like about membership in the church. If you find positives consider those as your focus.

That was very helpful as I have always been a list person. I have talked around the edges of this with my daughter, but don’t want to go into much detail because I don’t want to fuel her doubts. I keep telling her that whatever issues I have with the church, I am grateful I raised my children in the gospel because it gave them all a secure foundation and a feeling of stability. I love my Heavenly Father and know He loves me.

I agree wholeheartedly with West who said:

Quote:

I determined that I was OK staying LDS. It just means I have to keep my mouth shut a lot more than I normally do, because I also determined that no one else would start doubting because of me.

This is exactly why I don’t want to say too much to my adult children.

Roadrunner, I have never thought of this:

Quote:

I’ve accepted the LDS church as my tribe that does a lot of good things that I love and support.

I like that, and never thought of them as my tribe

DarkJedi, I have been feeling this more and more lately:

Quote:

Try to separate the church and the gospel. That is a hard task, and it’s not totally possible – but they are two distinct entities (which happen to be intertwined). The gospel, however, does live independent of the church and the reverse is not so

.

And Nibbler, what you said is powerful, and deep:

Quote:

the gospel was true before Joseph Smith translated the plates. The gospel was true before Joseph Smith was even born.

Although I admit that today I am not sure that JS ever did translate the plates, if the gospel is true, it has always been true no matter who is involved in the restoration.

As for the Patheos link, that was excellent:

Quote:

being a purist can mean missing out on a lot.

The link is here http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peculiarpeople/2014/11/toxic-religion-the-parable-of-the-pan/#ixzz3JUYrqI8H” class=”bbcode_url”>http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peculiarpeople/2014/11/toxic-religion-the-parable-of-the-pan/#ixzz3JUYrqI8H

If I had ever considered being a purist, that thought is long gone. I will continue to struggle, I am sure, but I know enough from all I have read here not to talk about it to my priesthood leaders. I doubt I can even discuss it with my DH, who thinks JS walks on water. In fact, I doubt I will ever sing Praise to the Man ever again. I agree there has been far too much “prophet worship” and there should be more worship of the Father and the Savior. I will continue to read your links and search past threads. I too have so enjoyed the responses. Thank you all for taking your time to offer me advice and comfort, I needed it and I am so very grateful.

[Anonymous]

Eternity4me wrote:

I know enough from all I have read here not to talk about it to my priesthood leaders

That is a good observation right now, especially while you’re mulling things over in your mind. Most leaders mean well, but they simply won’t have experience in this area to provide answers for your personal journey and beliefs, which have valid roots.

I always recommend the Wendy Ulrich speech on Cognitive Dissonance (if you haven’t read it, you can read it here). It acknowledges we have unbelief, but it’s OK. And our relationships with spouse, with Church, they can be reconciled and we can accept them as they are and recommit in new ways. It can be done.

Glad you found our forum. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

[Anonymous]

nibbler wrote:

I just ran across this, it seemed like it approaches the same idea from a different angle.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peculiarpeople/2014/11/toxic-religion-the-parable-of-the-pan/” class=”bbcode_url”>http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peculiarpeople/2014/11/toxic-religion-the-parable-of-the-pan/

Thanks Nibbler for posting this link. This quote jumped out at me. “For myself, wrestling with uncomfortable aspects of my faith’s history and administration is a liability I’m willing to accept, though it is sometimes bitter work. Through my faith, I’ve stood in holy places with people I love—people who have taught my children to want to be kind, people in whose service I have set up chairs and preached sermons, people who have known my faults and forgiven me. Despite the loftiness of the divine aspirations that have inspired religious movements throughout history, it is the humanness of the project that is both most problematic and most inspiring.”

Journal keeper!

[Anonymous]

Eternity4me, I totally agree with you. More worship of the Father and the Savior. You have been given some great thoughts on this thread. Thanks for starting it!

[Anonymous]

I’ve struggled for nearly 8 years. It started out because of finding out about JS’s polygamy. Which led me to John Dehlin’s very first video, “Why People Leave” and it helped unfold my belief, how ironic that it’s something from JD’s FB feed that led you to a faith crisis. I guess “Stay LDS” is great to help one stay, but totally strange that JD puts the video out that can be a cause for disbelief, when all the problems are laid out, along with the Mormonstories podcasts. They’re great for people like me at this stage, nearly total unbelief in the church. But not so much the newest doubter. But I can say that about FairMormon, or back when it was FairLDS. I saw more on that that broke my shelf it seemed.

All I can say is good luck, and maybe you’ll be smarter than I’ve been and pick a side, not straddle the fence, so as to not become obsessed in a bad way with all things Mormon. My heart really does go out to you and my fellow strugglers.

[Anonymous]

I have not read all of the replies and I’m sure that they have been good, the support here is quite wonderful. This is all I have to add to the discussion. I read this on a blog the other day and found it to put into words how I feel about my current church activity. It makes it so much less scary to be an active, faithful member that has doubts:

Quote:

I don’t need the church to be true – I just need it to be good. I don’t need the church to be right, I need it to be just. I don’t need it to be pure, I just need it to be honest. I don’t need to hear how great the church is, I need to hear how glorious Jesus was. I don’t even need it to be liberal – I just need it to be kind and inclusive. I don’t need the church to give me all of the answers, I simply need it to hear my questions. I don’t need the church’s judgement, I need its acceptance.

The entire blog post can be read here:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/kiwimormon/2014/11/anguished-musings-on-a-frayed-testimony/” class=”bbcode_url”>http://www.patheos.com/blogs/kiwimormon/2014/11/anguished-musings-on-a-frayed-testimony/

[Author]

Posts