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I can’t quite fathom female missionaries (the young ones, not the older missionary couples)… how exactly do they work? Male missionaries I get, but not the female ones. I appreciate that they can’t baptize, give priesthood blessings or a number of other things.
I’ve worked out that they only teach women at home (At least I think they do), but they do occasionally take Gospel Principles classes.
Any women here who went on a mission like this?
On a more difficult note, I have found some of them very attractive and pleasant. I gather a lot of girls in the church have the same issue with the male missionaries, but of course they’re untouchable. Maybe that’s the attraction. No first names, and well dressed…
SamBee wrote:I appreciate that they can’t baptize, give priesthood blessings or a number of other things.
I’ve worked out that they only teach women at home (At least I think they do), but they do occasionally take Gospel Principles classes.
They do most of what the male missionaries do. They can teach anyone, as far as I know. I don’t think they can teach single males alone. But male missionaries aren’t supposed to teach female investigators alone. So you teach them at the church building with someone else there, or at a members house, if needed.
They teach classes in church. About the only thing that don’t do is perform ordinances and are excluded from the majority of leadership positions within the missionary environment (District Leaders, Zone Leaders, etc.). I think they do form leadership positions directly related to the sisters though.
SamBee wrote:Any women here who went on a mission like this?
Hawkgrrrl served a mission.
SamBee wrote:On a more difficult note, I have found some of them very attractive and pleasant. I gather a lot of girls in the church have the same issue with the male missionaries…
Too young really to interest me, besides the fact that I am married. Even if I was single, I don’t think I would date anyone under 35 years old (I am almost 42). Way too much drama getting involved with a 21 year old. It would be hard to relate, having few shared cultural experiences. And I am done with the notion of having any more kids. Someone too much younger would probably want that.
I served a mission in Austria when I was 21. 1969-1971 David O’McKay signed my miision call. Sisters tracted like the elders about 80 hours a week with little success. Sometimes we would do sister splits where one sister would tract or work with 2 elders. Elders always wondered why sisters got in the door easier than the elders since they had the priesthood. Can’t by pass human nature-people are more leary of men at their doors. They no longer do sister splits with the elders I heard. We had the 6 discussions all memorized and it was difficult. Did alot of service projects and kept the elders from getting depressed. We were good looking sisters who really got along well with the elders and had some fun on our day off. This is when I really questioned my testimony and wondered if this was really what I wanted to do for two years. Lots of problems in my mission and some of us became creative in missionary work. I used to think only old maids went on missions but I had always had the desire to go on one. Sisters are smart, intelligent women that I have met and any guy would be lucky to marry one. I always love meeting sister missionaries and loved watching the movie, “Errand of Angels” about sisters in an Austrian mission. It was exactly like it was there. Boyd K. Packer set me apart for my mission and I did not have a good feeling about him as he laid his hands on me. He told me to always obey the priesthood, no matter what. Well, on one sister split, the zone leader told me I had to obey him cause he had the priesthood and did not want to tract anymore but wanted to go watch a football game instead. I obeyed because he frightened me, but turned him in later. SamBee – I served in the Canary Islands from 1989-1990. Sisters did basically all the same activities as the elders. We proselyted essentially the same way. We were a little older than the boys (21+ vs. 19+). In my mission, sisters did not lead other sisters, but I know of some missions where this was organized in this way – a set of female APs in addition to the male APs (assistant to the president). The sisters for the most part in my mission had more freedom because we were older and more trustworthy, all having lived away from home for a couple years before serving whereas with the elders that was not always the case. In general, the elders left us alone, and we did just fine. I’ve been back to my mission twice now (once in July), and it’s great to see some of the people I taught or members I knew there. They seem to remember the sisters more than the elders in general, perhaps because there are fewer sisters, or perhaps because the sisters are a little more focused on maintaining relationships.
Any other questions that are specific?
Thanks guys, this is genuinely interesting. I don’t know a lot about the female experience in the church, other than a general idea that women seem to have a) a very different experience from men, and b) probably get a bad deal.
Hawkgrrll – Canary Islands, lucky you! Great climate and holiday destination too. (Although I wouldn’t fancy wandering along the road in the midday sun.)
Actually I do have another question – do women get pressurized to have missions as much as men?
Quote:Boyd K. Packer set me apart for my mission and I did not have a good feeling about him as he laid his hands on me. He told me to always obey the priesthood, no matter what.
That’s BKP alright. Obedience is his thing.
Quote:Elders always wondered why sisters got in the door easier than the elders since they had the priesthood. Can’t by pass human nature-people are more leary of men at their doors.
I have another idea. Male missionaries kind of dress the same. Plus they look “official” – in many countries they look like policemen or agents of some kind. Female missionaries are smart, but have more variety in their dress, they’re harder to spot on the street.
In Latin America or Russia, guys turning up in suits at your door probably has bad connotations.
What I like about the sisters is how strong they are getting rejected every day and having that “proselyting” mentality that breeds practicality, judgment, etcetera. They were also really good at carrying the Spirit in the discussions too. Most of the ones in the various areas I served in were high baptizers as well….I served in California where there was a lot of receptivity to the Church. Must be a lot harder now, though, with Prop 8 etcetera. I don’t mean to be rude at all. I have a honest question. DH, when he was very TBM (he isn’t SO much anymore) kind of defined female missionaries as being the girls left behind in the program. The girls that didn’t get picked to get married right out of highschool basically. It seemed like he looked down at them. Do many TBM’s feel this same way?
LaLaLove, that was a cultural joke when I was young – a horrible one, but young men often are stupid. I don’t think that’s the general impression any more.
I think Lalalove and Sambee are kind of asking a related question about why women serve and which women serve and whether women are pressured to serve. I can share what the history seems to be and then add to that with what my own experiences were. Historically, women were possibly even “discouraged” from going (if you go back to the 70s and earlier) – they only went if they had no immediate prospect of marriage. Certainly there was a cultural discouragement and culturally it was assumed that only spinsters-in-the-making would go, at least when my older sisters served. I really believe that it’s changed a lot. That’s not to say that there weren’t a few oddball women in the mission field when I went (89-90), but most of the women who went were just independent minded and knew what they wanted to do. Many were very attractive with boyfriends at home or otherwise many prospects on the marriage front. They just felt strongly compelled to go for personal spiritual reasons, which was also why I went. I had a boyfriend who wanted us to get married, but he supported me going too.
I do not feel women are pressured to serve, but personally I think more should feel pressured to serve. Being pressured to serve a mission is, IMO, much less risky than feeling pressured to get married very young.
Don’t want to get smacked here but I hope all can respect my honesty. I never wanted wanted to serve a mission ever and didn’t. In many ways though I accept(ed) my disaffection with the church. A huge cataylist to my disaffection was due to the otrascism I received for it that pushed along inactivity for over sixteen years. A mission was not for me and I think a lot of others yet as young men we are required to go. I have always thought it was BS we had to go and the young women didn’t have to. I think that if this standard is to be maintained for young men it should be the same for young women or simply make an ephasis that it is voluntary for either sex. I’m not sure about anyone else but this to me wrong. In retrospect had I just been left alone my life would be considerably different though I love my life now as it is. I think there is a terrible stereotype that only spinsters go on missions. There were attractive sister missionaries in my mission, but sometimes I wonder if really attractive ones get sent to Visitor’s Centers. (It seems like it to me.) There is also a stereotype that sister missionaries are “more righteous” than elders. I know some sisters in my missionaries that were troublemakers just like the elders. In my mission, our president was interested only in time spent tracting or teaching, so 40 hours was the goal. Prior to that, I remember some sisters would count proselyting times as “baking cookies”, “recording music for investigators”, and some other shenanigans like that to boost their numbers to get 80-100 proselyting hours/week. My mission president only cared about teaching/tracting. It was really hard to teach that much, and tracting gets old.
I saw Errand of Angels, and loved the movie. It felt like a female version of God’s Army to me.
From what I’ve seen of most of them, yes they are “weddable” material 😆 , i.e. often pleasant to look at and be in company with. I don’t know what their conversation is like really, because I don’t make a point of chatting them up, or talk to them about non-missionary stuff. One of them approached me at the bus stop the other day, recognizing me from church, I’m afraid I have a bit of a crush on her.😳 Anyway, my thinking on this is if men go, women should go as well. Although it’s obviously easier for men to tackle more “physical” situations in most cases.
My DW served a Spanish-speaking mission in southern California in the early nineties and I interacted with sisters on a regular basis on my mission, so I guess that makes me kind of qualified to comment on this. hawkgrrrl wrote:I served in the Canary Islands from 1989-1990.
Sounds like a rough life!
hawkgrrrl wrote:we were older and more trustworthy, all having lived away from home for a couple years before serving whereas with the elders that was not always the case
I’ll vouch for that. I left on my mission late (I was 21-1/2, making me older than most of the sisters as well as the elders) and I’d lived on my own for awhile. I’d also gone through my faith crisis and stage 4 feelings before I left, so I felt like I was going in with both eyes open. I don’t think I would’ve been mature enough to handle a mission at 19, and I think this gives the sisters a definite edge.
bridget_night wrote:the zone leader told me I had to obey him cause he had the priesthood and did not want to tract anymore but wanted to go watch a football game instead. I obeyed because he frightened me, but turned him in later.
This guy sounds like a first-class prick, and unfortunately I ran into several people like him. There’ll be jerks wherever you go, unfortunately. Good on you for turning him in.
SamBee wrote:do women get pressurized to have missions as much as men?
I think this happens in certain areas. I know in my singles ward in Sandy, UT there were several young women that refused to get serious in dating because they wanted to serve missions. My wife said they must’ve been lying to their stake president, because hers grilled her to make sure she didn’t have any serious dating prospects before he’d agree to submit her papers.
Also, I heard a funny story once on how Mormons like to keep score. One of my companions came from a family of 10 kids. One of the families down the street from his also had 10 kids and the mom liked to boast that all 10 of her kids (sons and daughters) were RMs. My companion’s mother got mad at one of his sisters for deciding to get married instead of serving a mission. All the rest did, but the fact that she only had 9 RMs instead of 10 really grated on her.
🙄 LaLaLove wrote:DH, when he was very TBM (he isn’t SO much anymore) kind of defined female missionaries as being the girls left behind in the program. The girls that didn’t get picked to get married right out of highschool basically. It seemed like he looked down at them. Do many TBM’s feel this same way?
Unfortunately, yeah. I encountered a lot of sexist attitudes in the MTC. My MTC companion and one of his friends were having a conversation where he said something to the effect of, “You look around, and some of these sisters fit the stereotype. But there are others where I want to ask them why are you here? Why aren’t you married?” A lot of elders in my mission disliked the sisters also. Mainly out of jealousy, but also because they felt the sisters whined too much and were immature. My DW had run-ins with some elders on her mission also.
hawkgrrrl wrote:Being pressured to serve a mission is, IMO, much less risky than feeling pressured to get married very young.
Maybe to a point, but in general I don’t think pressuring a young person to do anything is very beneficial, unless they’re sitting around watching TV all day with no clue about what they want to do with their lives.
Wanted to add as I am a female return missionary. I served in Puerto Rico close to four years ago now. In my mission the sisters did basically the same things the elders did, of course except for perform ordinances. I don’t know if my mission was exceptional or different but there was a number of attractive sisters in my mission, and many of them were older than 21. Some were 23, 24 even 25.
I did not feel much pressure to go on a mission…mostly from myself. I went back and forth about my decision many times. I am glad that I went. I spent some of my time training in the MTC in the Dominican Republic. My MTC president there was great, and quite unorthodox at times which I loved. He told me that if he was President of the church he would make sure all worthy young women were expected to go on missions as well as the young men.
I can’t help but agree with him. After spending some time teaching young women’s recently I can’t help but feel awful about the lessons these girls are being taught from the manuals. Some of the topics to me were just ridiculous…how to be a peacemaker in your home, how to have an organized/clean home, etc. These girls had no clue about doctine regarding baptism, the restoration, etc. but here we were teaching them lessons that I thought were really of no use to them. A couple of times I brought my preach my gospel manual to teach them the lessons out of it like they were converts so they could actually learn something. It was difficult to stand by and watch these girls learn little about the gospel, then go on to get married and still have no clue. Well now I’m going onto something completely different. But I saw the young men in this ward be prepared for their missions by learning scriptures and the lessons from PMG, but these girls were being held back. So I don’t think missions would be a bad thing for every worthy young women to do.
I think there is worse stimga for women who are older, not married, and haven’t served missions. It seems like people look at them as if, “well if you haven’t been on a mission, what have you been doing with your life?” I think it is harder for them.
Anyways, i’m probably off topic, but there is my rant!
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