Finding Myself in the Uncertainty

[Anonymous]

Thanks to the support I have received on this forum I am starting to feel like I am finding myself again. I feel less afraid to talk to others, and more confident in my abilities to not send anyone else into a faith crisis. Through knowing that I am not alone, I am realizing that if I just go back to who I was as a person before the faith crisis, but with my new uncertainty I will be able to make things work. I will still need time to heal, and help knowing how to deal with my lost faith, but I will find myself.

After exploring this site I know that this journey will be easier for me than for some. I have no anger towards the church. All of my pain comes from the uncertainty and the change of beliefs, which will make it easy for me to respect others. I was already believing and teaching a little bit differently before the faith crisis, so if I can just channel my own personality, I will be able to teach again without sending anyone else into this crisis, or being untrue to myself.

I want to share my love and support to those whose journeys might be harder, and I want them to know that there are many of us who will support them regardless of whether the choose to stay or go. With my change, I have come to truly believe that there is a place for everyone, and that if a person’s place is outside the church it makes them no less than someone who’s place is inside the church. If God exists and He is everything I believed Him to be, He has love without end, and knows us better than we do. I have to believe that if He is out there, His love is perfect and knows no bounds.

I guess the beauty of uncertainty is being able to gain more understanding and compassion for all people. If I can use my uncertainty to send me in that direction, I will be OK.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely LOVE your last paragraph. I am glad to read the whole post, but there a powerful empathy that can be discovered in a transition of faith.

[Anonymous]

I too like the paragraph

countrygirl444 wrote:

I guess the beauty of uncertainty is being able to gain more understanding and compassion for all people. If I can use my uncertainty to send me in that direction, I will be OK.

and I have found that I am more empathetic towards others. For a guy I have always been a bit more empathetic than competitive, but coming up on 3 years for my faith crisis / transition – It has greatly increased. Not to brag, but I didn’t ask for any Christmas gifts and the money I did receive I donated to some very worthy causes. With all the bad stuff and suffering going on it the world, I didn’t feel right asking for more toys.

I heard someone mention there are 2 kinds of active Mormons. Those that want to be liked and friends with ex-Mormons and those that don’t want that. I am certainly in the camp of wanting to still be their friends (unless they can’t get out of the “anger” mode and only want to talk about how terrible the church for all of every conversation). I have seen others that won’t even look at ex-members in our ward.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, that description of two kinds of people is true, pretty much, about humans and not limited at all to members of any particular religion. Either people crave security and, therefore, shum / avoid perceived and real dangers to that security (human or situational) or they crave newness and exploration (of any or all kinds) more than security and, therefore, are more open to experiences that might be dangerous in some way (human or situational).

Formally structured organizations of all kinds, not just religions, tend to emphasize security.

There are other factors, obviously, but understanding that one simple aspect of human psychology can go a long way toward empathy and charity.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing, I for one think you have found a path to personal growth and increased understanding. There is much depth to explore out there, our desires for certainty can at times hold us back. I will always remember that Pres. Kimball’s son Edward said he found certainty to be a burden, I think a whole new world can open up to us when we understand that statement.

[Anonymous]

countrygirl444 wrote:

If God exists and He is everything I believed Him to be, He has love without end, and knows us better than we do. I have to believe that if He is out there, His love is perfect and knows no bounds.

I believe in that God also. I like how you are approaching things and you are seeking to find yourself, and not lose yourself despite new perspectives and new information and new doubt and uncertainty. You can move forward being who you are with the new things you are bringing with you. It is not black or white, either the old you or a completely new you. There is progression line upon line of incorporating new things into the same you.

It can get tricky, however, because new perspectives may not be reinforced by others at church. There are some new perspectives that others just won’t see the same as you. And if you can tactfully navigate that, there is still a place in church…but some parts of the personal journey become personal and private and sacred. They are yours alone, between you and God, regardless what you hear others say at church. And that is where the love and empathy work in your favor. You don’t have to have others agree with you. You accept the diversity of thought, embrace it even, and value it…because the orchestra is better that way. But it can feel lonely at times, and uncomfortable at times.

countrygirl444 wrote:

…I will be OK.

Yes…you will.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are making some “progress.” Through my faith transition I also gained compassion for others and see others much differently now. I share your desire to be of help to those who wonder – that’s partly why I am so active here. The road may not be easy, but it is passable.

[Anonymous]

countrygirl444 wrote:

I want to share my love and support to those whose journeys might be harder, and I want them to know that there are many of us who will support them regardless of whether the choose to stay or go. With my change, I have come to truly believe that there is a place for everyone, and that if a person’s place is outside the church it makes them no less than someone who’s place is inside the church. If God exists and He is everything I believed Him to be, He has love without end, and knows us better than we do. I have to believe that if He is out there, His love is perfect and knows no bounds.

I guess the beauty of uncertainty is being able to gain more understanding and compassion for all people. If I can use my uncertainty to send me in that direction, I will be OK.

I’m late to this party, but thanks a lot for posting this. I feel the same, and it’s so nice to see it expressed so nicely.

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