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My husband’s nephew is flying in to see us on his way to somewhere else. He is re-routing his flight at extra effort and expense to see us. He let us know yesterday that he will be here for Sunday. He enjoys his uncle but I am “favorite aunt” status. This nephew served a mission, was a real black/white thinker, and really devout. Somewhere along the way in grad school, he left the church. He is a member of record, but not active. He has no animosity towards the church, but he has no interest in attending.
Sunday. He wants to work around our church schedule, but he would really like to go see a couple famous sights and museums in the area. He loves excellent sculpture. Church is 11-2.
I would like to attend SM with DH and go hang out with the nephew and show him the sights. DH feels that going to museums on Sunday is beyond his comfort level. Skipping part of church is beyond what he can handle — especially to go do something like museums.
DH has told me to go ahead and go with the nephew, but DH will go to church and see us later at the house as he cannot in good conscience go with us.
I feel like I need to contact the nephew and see if we can come up with something that would include husband. But .. With church from 11-2 .. And his discomfort with museums on Sunday. I’m not sure how to make everyone happy. This is the first time that my change in faith is in direct conflict with something in my husband’s life.
Any advice?
AP, my favorite part is: Quote:I’m not sure how to make everyone happy.
You really are a Mom. I love it.My advice is do what you’re comfortable with & include your DH when you can.
I’m sure they will understand. I would go to the museum.
I would say to heap praise on him for him both sticking to his guns and also allow you flexibility. Us guys are suckers for praise. And it is going to be such a nice day tomorrow!
I think just go with nephew without husband. I don’t think it’s a big deal. DH is doing what he feels best about, and so are you! It’s a win-win. FTR, our former bishop, otherwise a stickler, used to say that it’s not breaking the sabbath when you are outside your own county. We follow that rule of thumb as well. Also, as to museums, many countries that are far more religious than the US make museums free on Sundays.
I would first gauge how strongly your hubby feels about you leaving part of church and going to the museum. I know that on certain issues with my wife, it’s better to do what she wants and avoid the conflict, since her feelings run so deep. On other issues, I know we can agree to disagree and still be fine. One example is buying on the Sabbath. I don’t have a problem with it when it is necessary. She and my daughter absolutely refuse to do it. So, they watch me buy something (like at an event I may be co-organizing, for example) and are cool with it. Other issues — I MUST do the gospel thing…or I know it will put a big dent in our relationship.
In this case, I don’t see this as a huge deal necessary as the Sabbath day is a matter of conscience. There is wiggle room, especially when family is involved and they are not TBM or non-member. So, I don’t even see it really as a FC issue — it’s simply a matter of personal conscience that event two TBM’s might disagree about.
So, if I felt my husband only disagreed, and it wasn’t a deep issue, I’d do what you want on this one. If it does cause a dent, increase meeting your husbands emotional needs for a while before and after the Sunday to put love vibes back into the relationship, without necessarily stating its because you disagreed on this issue…
I would thank him for being so faithful to his own ideals and also so supportive and loving of you and your nephew. I would tell him how grateful you are to be married to him, eternally. It would be a true statement, and he is such a wonderful person. He should hear that in this situation.
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