Formulas vs. Patterns

[Anonymous]

After some readings last month, I am pondering the use of formulas and patterns.

A formula, by definition is a series of inputs that result in a predictable output; A + B = C.

A pattern is a plan, based on another’s experience also for producing a predictable output. A pattern however, can be modified; a sleeve can be lengthened or a waistline modified as conditions warrant.

It is efficient to use patterns for one’s life, and we use them all the time in the church. There is no reason, for example, to burn your finger on the stove, if someone else has already had that experience and you can learn from it vicariously.

I have a couple of thoughts here; First, to some degree, as we rely on patterns or formulas, we give up our ability to experience life personally and up close. Obviously, we want to avoid unnecessary dangers, but is it really life if we engulf ourselves in patterns and formulas? Maybe we would see the sunrise differently that someone else.

The second thought is that as an LDS culture, we tend to take a pattern and think of it as a formula:

– Marrying a returned missionary will make you happy.

– Marrying in the temple will make you happy.

– Fitting into a pre-defined mold will keep you safe and make you happy.

– If you do A, and B, and C, you will end up in the celestial kingdom.

Any time that we think of a pattern as an absolute formula, we are eventually BOUND to be gravely disappointed. The returned missionary son who goes ‘astray’. The temple marriage that goes bad. The general unhappiness we may have, because we feel we haven’t really experienced life.

The roots of mistaking patterns for formulas lie in intellectual and spiritual laziness. Most of us can’t think beyond these few dozen simple patterns aka formulas that are repeated incessantly each week in our meetings. Many of us feel threatened when any thought occurs outside of these patterns. The patterns are institutionalized. Is it any wonder that most of our meetings and classes are frightfully boring?

Wondering if other stay-lds members have thought down these lines.

[Anonymous]

I have actually thought some of these same things, but not quite as concisely as you.

In our old YW presidency we had someone that had married a catholic and converted him and they are happily attending church, we had the pregnant before marriage (and no mission) and later sealed and were happily attending church and then we also had the returned missionary, sealed in the temple and now her husband is an atheist.

I think the diversity there was actually REALLY good for those girls to see that just because you “check all the boxes” doesn’t mean that you will live happily ever after.

The leader that has the atheist husband had a very difficult time and almost ended in divorce. She had to do a complete shift in thinking to come to terms that she still loved and cared for this man that no longer had the same ideals that she did. The girls watched some of this happening and knew some of her struggles (since her daughter was in YW so her daughters friends knew what was happening).

SilentStruggle, you are very correct in your line of thinking. We do take it for granted that if we are checking all the boxes that life will be perfect for us. It is that hard dose of reality that makes a lot of us end up here.

[Anonymous]

Wonderful thoughts, ss. Seriously, wonderful thoughts.

I especially like the way you worded the following:

Quote:

The second thought is that as an LDS culture, we tend to take a pattern and think of it as a formula.

I simply want to point out a little more explicitly, as you mentioned, that this is a human tendency, not an LDS one. Mormons just take patterns and create unique formulas from them. For example, using your own example but changing the Mormon-centric aspects a bit leads to the following:

– Marrying a committed Chrisitan (Muslim, Jew, etc – and, ironically, even atheist) will make you happy.

– Marrying in (or outside of) a church before God, family and friends will make you happy.

– Fitting into a pre-defined mold will keep you safe and make you happy.

– If you do A, and B, and C, you will end up in Heaven (or happier in this life without the disillusionment of belief in Heaven).

I think most Christians (and Muslims, Jews, etc. – and even atheists) would acknowledge that these are patterns if confronted with that terminology and distinction, but I also think most of them wouldn’t make that distinction without it being made explicit to them. People look for order and simplicity naturally, and turning a pattern into a formula is a manifestation of that natural tendency.

[Anonymous]

Good points Ray. It’s a human condition I suppose. I want to break free of it.

[Anonymous]

Amen – and it is one of the core aspects of “the truth shall make you free”, imo.

[Anonymous]

silentstruggle wrote:

…I have a couple of thoughts here; First, to some degree, as we rely on patterns or formulas, we give up our ability to experience life personally and up close. Obviously, we want to avoid unnecessary dangers, but is it really life if we engulf ourselves in patterns and formulas? Maybe we would see the sunrise differently that someone else…The second thought is that as an LDS culture, we tend to take a pattern and think of it as a formula…Any time that we think of a pattern as an absolute formula, we are eventually BOUND to be gravely disappointed…Wondering if other stay-lds members have thought down these lines.

I have thought about some of the Church’s promises and theories not really working the way they expect not necessarily as patterns misinterpreted as absolute formulas but now that you mention it the idea certainly makes sense. For example, they like to claim that if you do what you are supposed to then you will supposedly believe in the Church permanently which I don’t believe for a second. I have also thought about the idea that strictly trying to go along with everything they say can actually inhibit peoples’ progress or growth in many cases.

When my TBM parents, brother, neighbors, bishop, co-workers, etc. that are older than me really started to remind me of perennial children that never really grew up that’s when I basically gave up on the idea of ever going back to fully believing in the Church again. Of course, some apologists would probably say that I am cynical and jaded as a consequence of too much pride and sin and that being childlike is actually a good thing (Mark 10:15). Either way, I have no regrets about not listening to the Church’s advice in many cases which doesn’t really make sense if you want to believe all their assumptions about happiness and blessings depending so much on obedience to this long list of strict rules.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps what is most frustrating is when one follows the pattern/formula and you don’t get the supposed promise. I have a VERY traditional/literal orthodox brother who has done EVERYTHING right according to the church leadership (at least from what I can see) ie

– Marrying a returned missionary will make you happy.

– Marrying in the temple will make you happy.

– Fitting into a pre-defined mold will keep you safe and make you happy.

– If you do A, and B, and C, you will end up in the celestial kingdom.

And yet his life is really not very good and certainly things have not worked out like I’m sure he expected they would have. In fact, I would say he is quite miserable and life has not thrown him good karma – and I think he probably deserves more “blessings” to be honest because of all the sacrifice and dedication he has shown to his “god” and religion.

And then, you have someone like myself, who has “strayed,” and lived the “heathen” life style, at least from the mormon point of view, and yet I have the perfect life – I’m just living the dream. My brother has made comments about it, and perhaps there is a bit of jealousy and bitterness that god would “bless” me — with a healthy family, and a great marriage, gifted, talented kids, a decent brain, education and wealth (well, at least comfortable – all things are relative), and peace and spirituality, and etc etc. And it seems that nothing has worked out for him.

The formula is not perfect and certainly does not take into account individuals, genetics, nature, the elements and differences in personalities. I would say that it is the best one available for the majority of the membership I think all churches/religions/theologoies do and should put out a formula, to better one’s odds of living a safe and peaceful life – but certainly, A+B does not always equal C. And that can lead to a serious crisis of faith.

And oh yeah, the Jews and Christians already hedged on folks like us questioning the formula and results — that’s why they put the story/myth of Job in the cannon.

[Anonymous]

I agree that this is a human condition, including within Mormonism, and LDS culture often places the expected output of the formula as “peace and happiness” when this life often serves up plenty of challenges as side dishes to the small portions of peace and happiness we get sparingly.

Just as a condition of life, we don’t have time to recreate the wheel on everything, and so we seek the learning of others and try to build on them, and that leads to patterns that have mostly worked for people in general over time…even if specific circumstances vary or have exceptions.

For example, going to college is a pattern that seems to mostly work for most people, but exceptions like Bill Gates show that it is more than just A+B=C . Even still, for most young folks, that is the pattern for our society that helps move the individual in the right direction as they figure things out.

I think the church is like that too. The Church teachings (WoW, missions, temples, moral standards, etc) help push youth towards good things, even if they are not in and of themselves the input that leads to the desired outcome. But while following these standards, the underlying gospel truths can be found, and those are really the inputs that are leading to the result.

The problem can be when people place absolute faith in the words of these prophets, and can’t tolerate variation or individual adaptation, and lose sight of the desired outcomes because they can’t accept the formula may be different than it is taught (i.e. A + B = C and also Y + Z = C). It doesn’t mean what we are taught at church is false…just maybe that God is great enough to work in many ways, and we should not get too hung up on creeds or conditions, but on the more important things or weightier things.

[Anonymous]

Trying to strictly live the formula was actually what precipitated my faith crisis. I had always been taught that the closer one adheres to Gospel principles, the happier one will be, and the more blessings will be available. I was restless and dissatisfied, and feeling guilt-ridden on top of that, and thought, “I’ll just read my scriptures an hour every day, pray morning, noon and night, go to the Temple, have FHE, etc.” And I did just that. I’d never been so “good.” It was pretty stressful, trying to handle all of the “requirements” on the checklist at once. 😯

But reading the scriptures (and conference talks and church publications and anything I could get my hands on) didn’t bring me peace, it brought more questions. Of course, most of these questions were unanswerable Praying for answers brought more questions, and some of the answers I did get were so unexpected, not at all what church leaders would teach as correct. I had never looked so closely at our LDS gospel, and the close-up study brought a lot of things to my view that I couldn’t rationalize within the given framework.

Anyway, I found that living by the formula to the exact letter didn’t strengthen my testimony or bring me happiness, but actually brought about the opposite. Turning around and finding a more authentic, sincere way to conduct my life (including accepting the fact that I don’t fit the formula) has brought me general peace and happiness. I realize that the formula does work for many people, and I am happy for them and their happiness!

[Anonymous]

Quote:

I realize that the formula does work for many people, and I am happy for them and their happiness!

Just like other stereotypes, they only are accepted as fact by so many because they really do work quite well for so many. It’s important to realize that sometimes we are the exception that proves the rule – even as we also realize that sometimes we are part of the generality that disproves the assumed rule.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

“silentstruggle” wrote.. Is it any wonder that most of our meetings and classes are frightfully boring?

I can relate to this. I thought it was just me that was bored out of my freeking mind!

Cwald Love the comment about the “Myth of Job” Just after “the lost book of Abraham” shot me down, I purchased a course on the Old Testament, grasping for any life line. The course was by a professor from the Vanderbuilt University Divinity School. To my surprise, (I should have read the fine print) it was everything they did’nt teach me in SS. Like, as you suggested, many bible scholars belive the “Story of Job” to be just that, A STORY! Enter “shock number 999” what next? Is the world still round? Fortunatlly, I thought, I had also purchased a New Testament course at the same time. This time from a professor from the Unv. of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “Chapel Hill” how could I go wrong? A+B=C right? Once again, everything I thought I knew about the New Testament was basicaly ripped to shreds.

Back to patterns

My non-member wife married a RM, check…

Latter sealed in the Temple, check…

Reciently my mold was shattered ???

We were doing A, B and C, now I struggle, but I’m not sure I’ll be happy with the perfect Celestial Kingdom crowd, wool makes me itch and the blinders wont fit anymore.

f4h1

[Anonymous]

Where LDS people get into trouble with this business is the “There is a law irrevocably decreed that when we receive any blessing it is in obedience…”. The fine print is that it doesn’t say what blessing for what law. The end result is feeling entitled and then when your marriage falls apart, or your kids take another road or your health goes bad you feel cheated. I fell into the trap of “live the handbook elder and you’ll have success” and really should have go the message back then. Unfortunately what I got was the belief that I just didn’t do it right. The only thing that makes sense to me anymore is that I’m on my own and good luck.

[Anonymous]

I think the distinction between a pattern and a formula is important. A formula is true and logical, and always produces the same result mathematically. Patterns, on the other hand, talk about broad trends, with a significant amount of deviation within the pattern. It describes the movement of the herd in general, while ignoring the mavericks.

One of the things that is exciting about life, is that formulas and patterns rarely work in ALL situations at lower levels of detail. There is so much diversity in strengths, weaknesses, personalities, abilities, perspective of multiple people, that patterns need to be conceived at a very general level to be broadly applicable. You also have to recognize that there will ALWAYS be exceptions that may require adapting the pattern. In this sense, living life is an art — not a science.

And yes, I see this as a weakness with the formulaic way we approach life in the Church. “Marry someone who honors his priesthood and everything else will fall into place”. “Any two people living the gospel can have a successful marriage”. These are formulas that don’t work in all situations, and they can lead to a lot of unhappiness when there are better alternatives.

Life is really an art. It helps to start out with formulas and patterns, but one must always let personal judgment and flexbility reign supreme.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the excellent points that have been made about the differences between formulas and patterns. This discussion has also brought something to mind – regarding the evolution of my faith.

Yes, I would say some attention to the equation A+B=C had at least some part in my faith crisis. I experienced the whole process of deconstruction (where it all sounds like bunk) and then chose to explore ideas of reconstruction. “Can I see any part of this as valid and useful in my life?”

The scripture at the core of this idea, for me at least, is D&C 130:20-21:

 

Quote:

20There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

 21And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated

Today, I would say I believe in this scripture. But it does not mean the same thing to me as it used to. I do believe that “rewards” or “blessings” or even “achievements” come as a natural result of following the path or “laws” that lead to those rewards. Every good thing is of God – by definition. This all makes perfect sense to me.

In the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” Jimmy Stewart was blessed with a multitude of good friends. My belief is this blessing came through his actions that developed all the trusting relationships that he acquired throughout his life.

The problem that can happen in modern church culture, or anywhere else for that matter, takes place when people assign a DIFFERENT law to a particular blessing – and feel the need to promote it as the true source of that blessing. [Edit: FWIW this fits my definition of “Superstition”]

Bill Gates and Warren Buffett clearly understand the laws of economics. The blessings of wealth that they have achieved are a testament to their obedience to those laws. The obvious error (to me) is when we attach economic prosperity as a purported blessing to spiritual laws. I would say spiritual laws yield spiritual blessings, economic laws yield economic blessings, health laws yield blessing of health (these laws I only wish we could fully understand), while knowledge of physical laws will yield physical achievements, etc.

An infinitely loving and just God, …a God that values knowledge, wisdom, experience, and agency, …could only have it that way.

[Anonymous]

Orson wrote:

…I would say spiritual laws yield spiritual blessings, economic laws yield economic blessings, health laws yield blessing of health (these laws I only wish we could fully understand), while knowledge of physical laws will yield physical achievements, etc.

Yes, I would agree with your analysis mostly. Where I see the problem in the LDS culture, is we equate spiritual laws with CULTURAL laws. Many of the laws we stress and push in the LDS church ARE NOT spiritual laws at all – but cultural traditions – that do not yield spiritual blessings. An easiest example would be the WoW. Many folks DO NOT follow it, yet they can be VERY spiritual and healthy, and many people do follow it, and they are not healthy and not spiritual. This is where the pattern fails to produce the expected outcome.

Going to church would be another one of those cultural laws that really have nothing to do with spirituality. Paying 10% tithing to the church. Living polygamy. Obedience to priesthood leadership. Wearing just one set of earrings. The whole white shirt nonsense. Eating carrot jello at the potluck ….etc etc.

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