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Does anyone else get progressively stressed as Sunday gets closer. I get more nervous as Sunday approaches. Stomach aches. I empathise with you. I try to just accept that I can’t change other people’s views. I can only respond. Sometimes the response is simply to ignore. I let a lot go in one ear and out the other. Yes, that’s one of the reasons I stopped going to church, but mine is not the right approach. Mackay’s approach is much better. Tremendously. Definitely. I often have butterflies or a slightly nauseous feeling on Sunday morning. One of my big issues is that I hate feeling like people are disappointed in me. I get a ton of angst every Sunday. DW seems to have medical issues that are exasterbated by stress and anxiety. Certain callings and assignments are almost sure to be triggers on the days leading up to Sunday. Seems you’re not alone, Harmony. Maybe the real questions should be why are we feeling this angst/anxiety? I once felt church was a refuge from such things. I do have a desire to return to church, and as I have considered why I just don’t go (I really don’t know the answer to that, but I can’t do it), this angst comes to the top of the list. I can see it isn’t just me. I think maybe it is a combination of worrying if the topics are going to be painful to me, or if I’m going to get lots of questions about where the rest of my family is, or if I’m going to disagree with what is spoken from the pulpit. I went into it today and tried to be positive, and it actually ended up being a very positive Christ centered meeting. I can listen to the words of Christ and about love, service and charity in complete agreement. I wish those were the topics every week. Dark Jedi, I too used to think it was a refuge. Often it is not, but today it was.
Thanks for your responses.
Hi, Harmony – I’m glad you had a good Sunday. Maybe because I’m on no one’s “radar” and because my family is with me, I feel like I fit in at church. 2nd and 3rd hour are potluck, but Sacrament meeting usually “works” for me as an opportunity to ponder. I actually look forward to it as a reset button. During the week I’m more or less alone with my thoughts and reading and I can get pretty low. I feel a bit uncomfortable because I don’t know what the ward will do to force my hand about where I am living and which Ward I will attend (I attend a ward in which I do not live). I think it would be worse if I was in my home Ward because I would be blatantly refusing callings right now and completely bored. This new Ward at least has moments of mental stimulation. There’s immense social pressure to “fit in” at church. We’re walking into a situation that we know is ripe for potential conflict. And we all know what your typical Mormon thinks of those who have “lost their light” so to speak. It’s never fun to feel that you might be the object of those thoughts. I don’t do it as often as I should but I sometimes try to attend church with a question, issue or role in mind. E.g: “what can I learn to be a better father.” There’s usually at least one thing I pick up during the 3-hours that makes it feel like the time was worth it. Sometimes it’s the talks/lessons I disagree with the most strongly that help to teach me (e.g. the way I
don’twant to be as a parent). This is actually a good explanation of why I can’t attend church. Church was killing me.
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Cwald, I’m sorry that church was killing you. It seems like the opposite of what church should do for us. I wonder if it can become a haven again. I worry about going, but then worry about not going. If everyone in my family attended, i think it would be much easier for me to slip under the radar. I’m sorry your experience was that bad. I wish it could be different.
I get the stomachache every weekend, too. It takes all week to undo the stomach knots from those three hours and then it starts all over. Thank goodness for the holidays that have offered a short, but much needed, respite.
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