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Hi Kyle- I am so thankful for your post. There are so many Christians struggling with what you are going through right now. I just watched this interview by Anne Rice who has a gay son: For the time being, I do not attend the lds church but have been attending a local Nazerene church down the street from me where I have really felt the Spirit of Christ there. I loved the lds church so much too and served a mission in Austria. My struggle with the church began on my mission and continued when I found out about my gay son. You do feel so torn. It kind of feels like if you married someone that you found out misrepresented themselves and now you have to decide whether you really want a divorce or not. I remember reading a book once about marriage called, “Too good to leave, Too Bad to Stay.” This is the same conflict we have with the church.
After 5 months of being here in Florida now, I finally had a home teacher drop by. We had a good talk and I like him. He and his wife are coming to visit me this Sunday. I explained what happened between my husband and I and this new bishop. He seemed surprised and I think wants to show me unconditional help. I told him that right now I was attending the Nazarene church, but that many of the lds teachings will always resonate with me. One of the best things I have found from this whole struggle is the importance of my personal relationship with Christ. Wanting to know Christ better and following what He wants me to do is the only thing that matters right now.
I really liked your post and wondered if you would mind if I posted it on a group my bi-sexual friend and I started for lds families with gay loved ones called:
Family Reconcilation:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FamilyReconciliation/ I loved to have you or anyone here in this situation to join our group.Sincerely, Bridget
Welcome — I enjoyed reading your post above – and I read all of it (thanks to Ray and his paragraph editing and the subsequent clarity of the ideas). In terms of commentary on your post — I think many people go through cycles of commitment and withdrawal in the Church. I am one such person. I’ve been full-on for much of my Church life, and then lukewarm to stone cold at other times. It seems to go with the experiences I’m having at Church.
Others I see are invincible in the gospel, at least OUTWARDLY — they seem to take it all in stride and just keep being active all the time. I’m not one of them, and I accept that in myself now, although I’m always striving to find my own middle way….
Great intro, Kyle. Welcome! I can’t relate to everything in your post because I’m not gay, but there were many things that rang true and familiar. Like you, I struggle to attend church at times. I was raised in the church, but that doesn’t always make a difference on motivation to attend. Sometimes I get really put out with the closed-mindedness and lack of fellowship I encounter at church. Other times, it’s the watered down content or lack of the spirit. Sometimes I just get tired of arguing with my kids and making them go. I realize that forcing them to go will probably do them more harm than good, but hey, this intro’s not about me. 
We’ve got a great, diverse community here with a lot of thinkers that I highly respect. I hope you find something in here that can help motivate you, or at least lessen your burdens. I look forward to reading your contributions.
@Bridget, Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Sure you can post my introduction on the group. Post it anywhere you feel like. It needs to be told lol.
Kyle
Thanks Kyle, I will post it and let you know of any feedback. Please join our group anytime. You would be a great assest. Bridget [Admin note]:Bridget, I deleted the comment with the links you provided. (Everyone else, they were YouTube links that apparently focused on homosexuality and LDS gay men.) I didn’t look at them, and there might be nothing “wrong” or inappropriate at all, but we simply aren’t set up to be able to allow that many links in a comment – regardless of the topic. My action had nothing to do with the topic. We have to have a policy in place regarding the inclusion of links, and there is no way as volunteers we can be consistent in checking that many links, especially when the description says something like, “My friend said __________.” Our personal trust of our regular commenters is irrelevant; we have to enforce a link policy consistently.
Please send Kyle a private message with the links, and please understand why we just can’t allow lots of links in one comment. If anyone else wants to see the links, please send Bridget a private message asking for them.
Normally, I would have sent Bridget a private message explaining what I did, but I want to make sure everyone understands that we can’t have comments with lots of links – and I wasn’t sure how many had read the comment already.
Oh, ok. I understand. Thanks for letting me know. What killed this thread? I thought it was so important. I feel StayLDS is more than a chit’chat website. If we can offer information/links which will help hurting people, we would be about our Father’s business. Nothing killed this thread, george. Like all threads, it had comments here and there, and then I explained why one comment was deleted, asked bridget to send kyle the links and made it clear that anyone could ask bridget for the links. As I said, group blogs pretty much all have policies concerning lots of links in one comment, and we simply have to be consistent with ours. That’s all that happened.
Welcome Kyle! I hope you feel safe and very welcome here and that the comments and posts on this board will be of value to you.
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