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Have any of you attempted to attend a second church along with the LDS church? I recently visited another church and found it had some of the things I was looking for and am now planning on being partially active in the LDS church and going to this other church some sundays. I find that if I attend the LDS church for too long, I feel more resentment towards it. I’m hoping having another outlet to get a break from the lds church some sundays will help. I’m wondering if any of you have tried this because idk how my ward will react once they find out. To be fair to my husband so he doesn’t have to live in secret with me, we decided that if I miss lds church because I’m at the other church, he’s allowed to tell people that I’m attending another church that day. I’m planning on sending my family a letter next month about me struggling with the church so that we don’t have to keep this massive secret anymore because it’s exhausting and I am feeling ready to let people know now so that I’m not trying to hide it from everyone. Anyways, mainly wondering if any of you are attending a second church on the side as an outlet, where you feel like your beliefs align better with them and you have a place to express your new beliefs without them being corrected? Eta: also forgot to ask, if you have a second church, does it seem to make going to the lds church easier or harder? I feel like in one way, it may give me an outlet to voice my opinions that may make me feel okay about keeping quiet at the lds church. Or I feel like the opposite could happen where maybe I start to compare the two churches and actually feel more resentment at the lds church. Any feedback on that would be great!
Always Thinking wrote:
Have any of you attempted to attend a second church along with the LDS church? I recently visited another church and found it had some of the things I was looking for and am now planning on being partially active in the LDS church and going to this other church some sundays. I find that if I attend the LDS church for too long, I feel more resentment towards it. I’m hoping having another outlet to get a break from the lds church some sundays will help. I’m wondering if any of you have tried this because idk how my ward will react once they find out. To be fair to my husband so he doesn’t have to live in secret with me, we decided that if I miss lds church because I’m at the other church, he’s allowed to tell people that I’m attending another church that day. I’m planning on sending my family a letter next month about me struggling with the church so that we don’t have to keep this massive secret anymore because it’s exhausting and I am feeling ready to let people know now so that I’m not trying to hide it from everyone. Anyways, mainly wondering if any of you are attending a second church on the side as an outlet, where you feel like your beliefs align better with them and you have a place to express your new beliefs without them being corrected?
When I can, I attend the Episcopal church for the liturgy and the feeling of worship and for the last three years I’ve been enrolled in their Education For Ministry seminar program. It’s a four year study of the bible, church history, and theology and has provided me something that I’ve not found in the LDS church. One of these days when the community isn’t enough to counter the stuff that caused my FC in the first place, I may make the switch but I’m not there quite yet.@GBS does your ward know? If they do, does it affect the way they treat you? Also, I added a second question at the bottom of my post if you have any input on that? Thanks! Always Thinking wrote:
@GBS does your ward know? If they do, does it affect the way they treat you? Also, I added a second question at the bottom of my post if you have any input on that? Thanks!
Some in the ward know I’m in EFM but no one knows I attend at times. I’d gladly talk about it if it ever came up but it hasn’t so far. It’s really not made attending my ward any easier or harder since I’m there mainly to support my wife and for the community. I was teaching GD but when we reached D&C and church history this year, I asked to be released so that made it easier.Always Thinking wrote:
Have any of you attempted to attend a second church along with the LDS church?
Yes. In my case it’s not a scenario where I have to attend one or the other, I attend both each week. I attend LDS church on Sundays and I attend a Buddhist temple during the week.
P.S. I’m finding that I’m just as terrible at being a Buddhist as I am at being a Mormon.
The Buddhists don’t do a lot of correcting, at least with me. They seem content to let me go where life takes me. We’re still in that honeymoon phase. Plus the language barrier helps (and hurts).
Always Thinking wrote:
does it seem to make going to the lds church easier or harder?
My second church makes
lifeeasier, which includes making going to LDS church easier. I don’t think it’s that Buddhism has some secret knowledge that has all the answers to life or anything, I think it’s more related to trying to be more well rounded, listening to a harmony instead of a melody all the time, which could probably be achieved with any “side” church. There’s also a sense of discovery when attending second church. At the LDS church I tend to be arrogant, I’ve heard the lessons a million times before, I know them backwards and forwards, I know the scriptures that will be shared, I know the comments people will make, I know the personal stories that will be shared. Meanwhile I’m forced by circumstance to be more humble in my second religion. I know
nothing(Schultz). The very way of thinking about things is completely foreign to me. There’s adventure. There’s discovery. There’s more headroom for growth. It adds balance. Do people in my ward know? They know I ditched stake conference to attend my second church that one time but by and large it hasn’t been an issue because I’m able to swing both.
The only thing I’d add… there’s a rule in the handbook about disciplinary councils being required when people “formally join another church and advocate its teachings” I don’t plan on formally joining any more churches. If anything I’d be in the business of formally quitting churches
Great question, ‘always thinking”. When we moved to Florida 7 years ago, we had a bad run in with the new bishop. Plus this new ward was very cold. I also did not feel like I was growing spiritually anymore attending there. So, I attended some other Christian churches in our area and made some wonderful friends. Their Bible study classes were so stimulating with great discussions Their church meetings were very spiritual and uplifting. Made me realize that God works through all churches and all good people. When we got a new bishop, he came to visit us and find out why we were not attending any more. We told him why and that we no longer believed in the lds church. He asked us if we wanted our names removed from the church and we said no. We told him that even though we were attending other churches now, we had no intent to join any of them. He told us that if we did join another church we would be taken off the church records. We told him that even though we did not believe in the lds church anymore, we also did not know if the lds church was not true. That if God ever wanted us to come back to the lds church we would, but for now we feel that He wants us in these other churches. This bishop was fine with that and just emails us the ward newsletters every month now. DW and I have participated in a number of local Christian churches. The main motivator for this is to shop the variety of children’s programs available. We felt that the LDS church did not offer anything for primary aged children before cub scouts and YM/YW. We have participated in Awanas, Pioneer Club, Missionettes and Royal Rangers, Vacation bible school, and a variety of potlucks, Easter egg hunts, and Christmas themed programs. I was even asked to team teach a pioneer club class in the local First Christian Church.
I tell Mormons that we
participatein other churches, we attendand belong tothe LDS church. I tell non-Mormons that the LDS church is our
home church. I also enjoy supplementing my spirituality. When this first started happening we were also trying to attend an LDS ward different from our ward boundary (for completely unrelated reasons). The bishop had heard a rumor that we wanted to attend the other ward so that we could attend other churches in the morning. He called us into his office to find out what was up. After we had explained ourselves he said that, for him, the LDS church had enough to keep him quite busy for the rest of his life. However, he could see nothing technically wrong with what we were doing.
The church where we participate the most by far is the Assembly of God church. The pastor and his wife know that we are Mormon and have welcomed us to participate as much as we feel comfortable with no pressure. They have an evening Sunday service that I bring the kids to almost every week. It is a vibrant church with paid children’s pastors and robust children and youth programs.
nibbler wrote:
The very way of thinking about things is completely foreign to me. There’s adventure. There’s discovery. There’s more headroom for growth. It adds balance.I enjoy hearing the old familiar scriptures interpreted in different ways. It is like the picture of the beautiful woman or the old hag. I am able to see the same lines on the page with new meanings.
bridget_night wrote:
Made me realize that God works through all churches and all good people.
I also enjoy seeing how some of these new and different meanings can add power and purpose to the lives of people in my community. Their God can be just as powerful and active in their lives as we believe him to be in ours.
Always Thinking wrote:
I’m planning on sending my family a letter next month about me struggling with the church so that we don’t have to keep this massive secret anymore because it’s exhausting and I am feeling ready to let people know now so that I’m not trying to hide it from everyone.
We do not broadcast what we are doing in any controversial or “in your face” way. For us it is just being involved in our community. We look at it as akin to being involved in boy scouts, girl scouts, boy’s and girls clubs of America, and Lego club. There is no secret. We are not ashamed. No ultimatums or lines in the sand. Some of my Mormon friends have even teased me about going to other churches for free food. Our parents know (DW’s mom said, “What a great way to spread the gospel!”). If my child gets a medal in the Royal Rangers Pinewood Derby we would take pictures and post them to Facebook. That is just how we roll (get it? pinewood derby pun!
I don’t attend any other churches regularly, but I have attended a lot of other churches over the years, for lots of reasons. When I worked recently for a Catholic university, I attended mass periodically.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with attending other services. Even the most orthodox shouldn’t criticize that of someone still is actively involved in the LDS Church – but most still will, no matter what. For most people, including most Mormons, it has to be one only – at least, within acceptable boundaries. Even most liberal Protestants can’t accept other LPs attending Mormon or Catholic services.
I’ve been highly tempted to officially join Bhuddism, and fellowship at their local temple! They’re much less focused on “absolute truth”, rather than “here’s what works for us”. They are very accepting. Plus, according to Buddhism, I can be both a Buddhist and a Christian at the same time. Win-win. As far as other Christian denominations go, I see the appeal, but in the end they still have many of the same root problems I have with the LDS church. I’ve been to a couple, and I’ll admit I’ve enjoyed their services. They definitely have a new, valuble perspective. But in the end, I’d be exchanging the faults of one for the faults of another. I’d rather stick with the faults I know.
I don’t attend a second church, although I did take my daughter to different Christmas Eve services for some mind-expansion years ago. I personally would NOT tell the local Ward that you are attending a different church. i like Roy’s use of language, if you feel you MUST tell someone, then tell them you participate with other churches but you aren’t a member. But you will be more at peace if you can get rid of the tension associated with feeling you have to tell people about your faith crisis.
I get rid of that tension by focusing on what I am willing, and not willing to do in the church. THAT is therapeutic, as I occupy myself with secular service as a replacement for the unfulfilling church experience.
I also read years ago, when the new Handbook of Instructions came out, that joining another church can be grounds for excommunication. So, be careful about raising assumptions about where your interest in other churches is leading. I hate to say it, but Mormons can be a pretty conditional bunch — acceptance seems highly conditional on towing the line, doing what you are told, etcetera, so broadcasting that you are involved in another church may only make you feel even less connected to that community. Plus you have a family in the church to worry about…
Those are just my thoughts.
SD
I have been to others – but I think the Pentecostal church is the only one I’ve been to at the same time for a substantial period. I still keep in contact with people from there. I’ve thought of checking out the Adventists as it would be quite easy to attend both.
dande48 wrote:As far as other Christian denominations go, I see the appeal, but in the end they still have many of the same root problems I have with the LDS church. I’ve been to a couple, and I’ll admit I’ve enjoyed their services. They definitely have a new, valuble perspective. But in the end, I’d be exchanging the faults of one for the faults of another. I’d rather stick with the faults I know.
For me and me alone, I do not see what I am doing as “exchanging the faults of one for the faults of another.” I am not looking to move to Mexico, I just like to have a vacation home there to escape the harsh northern winter.
Thanks for all of your input, everyone! That really helps! I did look it up and found out that it is considered apostasy if I ‘join’ another church or if I start teaching their beliefs at our church. So my husband and I have figured out what we’ll do about that and we feel okay about it now. I think it will be okay, even though it will be awkward for a while when I start becoming less active at church
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