Green Apples Returns With Some Comments and Questions

[Anonymous]

In the past I would just add to my original intro only because I had no idea where else to post what I wanted to say. That original intro has become overly long and unfortunately there came a point where there was basically a discussion within the discussion and the original purpose of the post was lost.

I will simply post a new post here in the support forums.

Just so you know this post will be going back and forth to the past, present and possible future.

First I will say that I am in my early 30s It was sad to see my 20s go bye bye. I am nowhere near where I hoped to be at this age. I saw myself being further in life when I was in High School. At the age of 30 I saw myself living in a nice house with a smokin’ hot wife a kid or two and a well trained black lab. hmm ha ha ha It’s funny how I dreamed back in the days of High School. It was easier to think that everything would turn out. It was easy because back then I truly believed that if I just stuck with the church, paid my tithing everything would turn out. I would just have to hold onto an iron rod connected to a yellow brick road and I would find my way to the Emerald City no matter how spooky things would get.

Enough of the rantings of the disappointments. I have some things to look forward to. Things are uncertain as life is uncertain but I have options within my uncertainty.

I have been trying my best for the past few years to lose weight, get into better shape and over all be more healthy. I mainly did this to make a certain weight so that I could go suit up and join the United States Military. Unfortunately due to certain changes in policy I might not be able to join. Right now I am gathering my medical reports so that the recruiters can take a look and see if I even have a chance to get a pass at MEMPS.

If the Military is not for me then I will take what I have learned to good use. I am nearly done with an Associates Degree at a local college. I could take a hand full of Personal training courses and a science class and BOOM I have my AAS and I am a personal trainer. I could help people lose weight with the lessons I have learned and help them avoid the mistakes that I made while trying to lose weight.

At least at this point I am getting my own family to pay attention to the lessons that I have learned. My family has had a history of people getting way over weight, which usually leads to type 2 diabetes. A positive note at this point is that I can aid in the quality of life for my family and maybe I can help prevent the overweight condition and type 2 diabetes for the next younger generations in my family.

I recently met with my Bishop and told him of all these things and he also helped me brainstorm some other ideas and is helping me with possible work alternatives for the time being My Bishop is a nice guy he is new to the post of Bishop.

(A little side tangent about my last bishop)

My last Bishop I became very close to. I let him in on everything, all my ambitions. He seemed to know more about me than anyone else. It got to the point where he almost felt like family. Shortly after his release he fell so very hard. I don’t know all the details nor do I care to know and what I do know I will not share out of respect for this man. Something happened where he became someone totally different and the final conversation I had with him on the phone was not a friendly one and I had to tell him that I didn’t want him to contact me anymore because he wasn’t being the friendly man that I knew. I will admit that I wasn’t calm and I used many curse words. It was an odd final conversation to have with a bishop who I loved like family. 😥

What is also sad is that I had a falling out with another friend about a month before this happened. This other friend I had a falling out with was a friend of mine for nearly a decade. It is odd how people change. It is odd how the once friendly become so… unfriendly.

(Back to my meeting with my current bishop)

We had a meeting for brainstorming and possible work options for me as I had mentioned. Then all the sudden he felt the need to ask me if I was endowed. I am not. I chose not to go through the temple. I was given the Melchizedek priesthood when I was nearly 20. I ended up not going on a mission though so the need to go through the temple back then. I had the desire to do this a few years later but the Bishop I had at the time didn’t think I was ready so I put that desire up on the shelf. A couple years later I had my big issues with my faith. I wouldn’t say that I have a true belief in the religion but have enough respect and faith to stay in. I thought that maybe one day I could go through the temple with Conjunctive Faith even if I didn’t have a literal faith. I don’t know if I am totally there or not. I don’t know if my Bishop was truly prompted or if he simply is doing his job as a singles ward Bishop.

Endowed Elders = Eligible For Temple Marriage.

Eligible for Temple Marriage + Cupid’s Arrow = Temple Marriage.

Temple Marriages in the Singles Wards proves that the Church YSA works!

Or maybe he is just looking out for my personal well being. Perhaps he senses that I could easily leave even without having a full lengthy conversation with my personal faith Journey. Maybe he doesn’t sense anything. Maybe he just takes note of the fact that I rarely wear a white shirt to church. I wear a suit and tie but the color of my shirt is most often black but sometimes a different color.

I have been pondering my black shirt. I thought back to the good old story of Star Wars. Even though Anakin turned away from the lessons he learned as a young child he didn’t completely walk away from the ideas of a higher power that guides the universe. even though he cloaked himself in black he still had a sense of duty and he still practiced his beliefs but just in a different way. In the end he still fulfilled what he was supposed to do. He maybe made some mistakes along the way but in the end he threw a very evil man over a balcony and freeing the known galaxy from a dictator.

I ask myself am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Will there come a day where I feel comfortable in white again? Even if I don’t commit to going through the temple at this time perhaps maybe I could get a limited use temple recommend. Would I feel comfortable going through with that?

I will say this though. Perhaps a part of my hesitation to the temple in the past was my anger towards certain members of my family. I don’t want them to be there if and when I go. I think my plan was to be in a different part of the country before considering this. That way they wouldn’t have the option to go through with me. Perhaps that is kind of a cold way of thinking but I guess I wouldn’t want the experience to be ruined as these individuals has had the tendency to ruin or at least spoil my moments of growth and my moments of accomplishments.

I think this writing is more for me than anyone else. It is easier to write my thoughts out when I am hiding behind a name that represents me but it is a name that no one else in my life would call me.

I have met a small few of you in the past and I appreciated our little chats.

I welcome any piece of advice or thoughts that you would like to add to this.

Thanks

GREEN[/color] “>APPLES[/color]

[Anonymous]

No advice. Just a welcome back. … and a great OP.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

[Anonymous]

thanks Maybe I will visit here more often.

[Anonymous]

I have been switching up my diet for weight loss over the past year. I have been doing plenty of research on the foods that are ideal for weight loss.

I have noticed that when I don’t get enough sleep or if I am overly stressed out then my weight loss stops.

I have read plenty of articles and watched plenty of videos that basically says that caffeine will disrupt sleep patterns and cause an increase in the stress hormone cortisol.

I am thinking about handing in my Jack Mormon club card or at least put it away for awhile.

I have stopped drinking coffee and started drinking black tea. Tomorrow I will switch over to green tea and then eventually I will just stop drinking tea or consuming any caffeine and see how well I do without anything in my system.

The interesting thing about this is I started drinking tea and coffee to get myself off the sodas. Now I will just be switching over to water.

I will say that I felt more healthy drinking my one cup of coffee in the morning than I did drinking 2 liters of soda (sometimes more) per day. It is interesting that I could become slightly more healthy as a Jack Mormon than my bad habbits as a TBM. I suppose staying away from soda would be against the spirit of the law in the WOW. It would be interesting to see if I can just be awake and alert with the new style of dieting that I have been trying out for the past year. (The 100 diet plan is the basis of my diet however I am slowly turning Paleo.)

I am not just doing this for diet/health reasons though. I have been considering what my Bishop was asking. I may want to take the next big step and go through the temple.

I have been using this site, NOM and various mormon style podcasts as a means to tread water for the past 5 years.

I think it is time for me to either fully embrace the religion of my up bringing or to walk away.

It is time for me to really consider how big or small my little mustard seed of faith really is and if it should be planted in my mormon garden or planted elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

God continue to bless you as you work through the things you mention in your comment.

Fwiw, eliminating caffeine from my liquid diet (soda, for me) is a HUGE part of my weight loss over the last year or so.

[Anonymous]

greenapples wrote:

I think it is time for me to either fully embrace the religion of my up bringing or to walk away.

It is time for me to really consider how big or small my little mustard seed of faith really is and if it should be planted in my mormon garden or planted elsewhere.

I wish you well. Keep us informed of your progress.

(2 liter of soda a day? Really?)

[Anonymous]

Minyan Man wrote:

greenapples wrote:

I think it is time for me to either fully embrace the religion of my up bringing or to walk away.

It is time for me to really consider how big or small my little mustard seed of faith really is and if it should be planted in my mormon garden or planted elsewhere.

I wish you well. Keep us informed of your progress.

(2 liter of soda a day? Really?)

Thanks for the support and yes sir I can easily guzzle 2 liters of soda. I could maybe even drink 4 liters of soda by myself.

My biggest down fall when I don’t bother dieting properly is the amount of sugar I can drink. If I switch from soda over to green tea I can easily lose 5 – 10 pounds on that alone. If I cut out all sugar, most starch and wheat I can lose much more.

I thought I would come back in here and update y’all on what is going on with Green apples. Of course if you read my writings on the NOM you already know.

Basically I am in the process of branching out. I am attending a Unitarian Universalist church while also attending my Singles Ward. It’s a fun group over at the UU church but there aren’t really any young folks close to my age. There aren’t many girls my age either. I realized that I was programmed at a young age to look for Mormon girls to date.

That’s when I thought ” Why do you have to date girls directly from church?”

The answer of course is that I do not have to.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update.

[Author]

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