Happiness

[Anonymous]

I can definitely relate to the experience of being surrounded by people who equate the church with happiness. After finding out that I’m still not going to church of my own volition, as opposed to my agnostic/athiestic ex-BF “influencing” me not to go, my mom overwhelmed me with talk about her wanting me to be happy now, in 5 years, in 20 years, and forever. I realize that her heart was in the right place, and I appreciate her support, but I just had to roll my eyes.

Personally, I’ve found less stress and worry being “an inactive.” It brings me more happiness, even though I do miss singing hymns and letting loose my theological opinions every week. Happiness, for me, includes continually learning and amending my prior knowledge. If I become stagnant, I stop enjoying myself and life. Paradoxically so, I’ve also found great happiness in not needing to accomplish goals all of the time and just let whatever is be. Sometimes are easier than others, but I’m working on it. However, I fully realize that to other people this is highly undesirable. So I try not to force it on them, and only bring it up if the moment feels like it needs it. I try to be kind and compassionate when others disagree with me and then list all the reasons why I’m not supposed to be happy. I’m not living their mode of happiness, despite the fact that I had been for so long, and that is a scary thing. I know, I’ve lived though it! So, like Ray said, happiness is something that’s difficult to define. I think there are broad generalities, but the experiences of it will be as individual as people themselves.

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