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Thank you for your story SilentDawning, it is incredible to me that you were able to teach Gospel Essentials and do so well as to draw a crowd. I am wondering if the leadership could sense that you weren’t exactly on the same page with fundamentalist belief and were resentful that it was successful. I am curious, did you move into unbelief in a ward where you had already established connections? I am wondering if people would be less on the alert if that was the case. You did mention starting out in another ward, though, and not getting great results without fully participating.
I really appreciate your observations on volunteerism. I’ve been volunteering with my children’s school PTA, but couldn’t quite put my finger on what you articulated. That is also interesting that you noted that gossip was less insidious within the church. I wonder if that has to do with the Christian values that are tied into the church that encourage forgiveness and Christ-like behavior. The motivation to forgive may be less in some other institutions.
I appreciate hearing about your experience with finding that other community service organizations were more personally beneficial. I wonder if people associate those types of things with more self-initiated altruism, whereas people’s decision to be part of a religion may not be viewed in that light. It is difficult for me to find service opportunities that I can be active in with young children, but looking for an organization to serve with as my children get older should be a priority for me, I think, especially with my resume gap.
Your life sounds like it has been full and rich since leaving. It is very hopeful to me.
Thank you for sharing your experience Roy. I think that there is somewhat of a dynamic in the church where a calling is between you and God, and that should be thanks enough. You don’t need to be thanked for being obedient, because everyone is assigned a way in which they need to participate. I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud. Being released without thanks is a troubling and common occurrence though, that’s for sure. There seemed to be an ulterior motive with assigning you to be a family history leader, though, and people eventually gave up when it didn’t work. I have wondered if there would be initial enthusiasm and friendliness until it was obvious that we weren’t going to change, as well.
I am sorry to hear that you have been facing ostracization, especially after how long you’ve been with the community. It is nice to hear that you were welcomed into the Spanish community, do you speak Spanish and are you looking into pursuing more involvement with the Spanish branch?
“Tension,” yes, that is a good way to describe it. I wonder what my kids would think about that when they are old enough to pick up on it.
It also sounds like your family is very involved and active in the community, which is hopeful for me. I have been wondering if that lack of depth of connection that I feel and that you have also noticed is because of cultural and world-view differences, or if it is because people are not completely invested as they are in the church, as you said. It seems that I need to temper my expectations.
Thank you Roy.
Thank you for your observation, SilentDawning, about how having an established reputation of service in the community could potentially change the dynamic. It does seem hard to start out fresh in a ward by stubbornly refusing to participate in much of what goes on there. Old-Timer wrote:
The short version: I never have left, but I continue on my own terms.That is a constant balancing act, and it helps a lot that I know how to speak fluent Mormon-ese.
Haha, yes, Mormon-ese is certainly its own language. People from the ward are noticeably confused that we are fluent as well, even though we are no longer active.
You mention that you never left, so I assume that you have family who are still believing members? I wonder if that would make it slightly easier to integrate.
Thank you for your observation.
I have family on both sides of the fence. I am fully active and involved. I separate things into “culture” and “gospel”. I absolutely love my own view of the uniquely Mormon view of the Gospel, and I deal with where culture is apart from the Gospel. I hope for continued cultural changes toward the Gospel. It ebbs and flows over time, and I learned to ride the wave.
Old-Timer wrote:I absolutely love my own view of the uniquely Mormon view of the Gospel,
It sounds like a very fulfilling and peaceful place to land. Thank you for your thoughts Old Timer, I am happy that you were able to navigate changes in belief while remaining connected with your community.
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