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For this pattern in objections I’ve seen from more orthodox members, they ask you to do something, either an assignment or a calling. When you respond negatively, they comment on how the Lord wants you to do it, and that it is for your own growth. Quote:
Unorthodox Member: I appreciate the confidence you have in me to be a Ward clerk. But I want to tell you — clerical work is not my strength. First, I find I have to drag myself to do clerical work in my personal life and professional career. I dread it. Second, the thought of expanding my clerical duties to a church calling is really demotivating for me. Third, I have to really concentrate or I make mistakes, and I get tired of people pointing out my mistakes to me all the time. As an extrovert, my passions really lie in working with youth and social activities.Objection: I think this is the something the Lord wants you to do. We prayed about it and we think this calling is to help you grow. I can’t tell you how many times people have expressed reluctance at taking a specific calling, only to find they have grown in leaps and bounds.
How would you respond to the growth objection?
SilentDawning wrote:For this pattern in objections I’ve seen from more orthodox members, they ask you to do something, either an assignment or a calling. When you respond negatively, they comment on how the Lord wants you to do it, and that it is for your own growth.
Quote:
Unorthodox Member: I appreciate the confidence you have in me to be a Ward clerk. But I want to tell you — clerical work is not my strength. First, I find I have to drag myself to do clerical work in my personal life and professional career. I dread it. Second, the thought of expanding my clerical duties to a church calling is really demotivating for me. Third, I have to really concentrate or I make mistakes, and I get tired of people pointing out my mistakes to me all the time. As an extrovert, my passions really lie in working with youth and social activities.Objection: I think this is the something the Lord wants you to do. We prayed about it and we think this calling is to help you grow. I can’t tell you how many times people have expressed reluctance at taking a specific calling, only to find they have grown in leaps and bounds.
How would you respond to the growth objection?
I would say that given how I feel about it, I will need to have the Lord to tell me this is a calling for me. So I will go home and fast and pray about it and get back to you in a week. If you don’t feel like you are told during the week then tell them you did not feel the spirit telling you and you don’t want to go counter what the spirit is telling you.Quote:“I also believe God will tell me if He wants me to do things. Thanks for the reminder to ask him. I will let you know how I feel about it in a week.”
or
Quote:“Elder Oaks said we need to seek and receive answers for our own lives and not rely on others (including leaders) to tell us what God wants us to do. Thanks for the reminder to ask him. I will let you know how I feel about it in a week.”
Smile and walk away.
This very scenario is playing out for me right now. I’ve been extended a calling that is not a good fit and it’s coming at a particularly bad time where family needs my undivided attention. It’s interesting that Ray brought up something that Elder Oaks said in his “Two Lines of Communication” talk. That was my answer as I have been mulling over my situation for the past few weeks. My local leaders received their line of communication but the personal line of communication is just as important. Often we assume that the personal line of communication is a given once the priesthood line of communication has spoken. I believe that if we make that assumption both the leaders and the individual are shortchanging themselves of an opportunity to experience growth.
The “rub” comes in where the personal line of communication does not confirm the priesthood line of communication. How does the leader react? I think many leaders would respect that but they might give a parting shot that’s similar to the objection you gave. The leader now has to go back to the drawing board and it’s more work for them. It’s probably easier to try to convince someone to do a calling via all sorts of objections than it is for them to start the process over from the beginning, often with many moving pieces on the board.
In reading these related threads one thing I’ve learned… I’ve probably said something bad if Ray smiles and walks away.
nibbler wrote:
The “rub” comes in where the personal line of communication does not confirm the priesthood line of communication. How does the leader react?One Bishop I knew said that he believes callings are inspired only when a leader extends a call, and the member accepts it. I like that interpretation because it balances organizational interests with individual interests.
I agree with Nibbler. The leadership are trying to staff the ward and it is a hard job. DW was reluctant to accept a calling as Primary President and she was promised that God had blessings for her and her family that could only be given if she accepted the calling. A year later our daughter was stillborn and DW had to be released in her grieving.
Looking back he was probably just trying to get his job done and probably honestly thought that blessings (in the form of growth etc) would result from this calling. Unfortunately I also feel some resentment. I feel that he was too confident in speaking in the name of the Lord and making promises on His behalf.
With salesmen I have a personal policy to sleep on any proposed purchase. If it is a wise purchase – it will still be a wise purchase in the morning. I lately have applied the same to callings.
*smiles and walks away* 
I had an experience like this a few months ago. I was asked to be a Primary teacher, now for various reasons I felt like I couldn’t accept it. I told the councilor to give me a week to think about it and I’d come back to him. A week later I told him that I couldn’t do it. He seemed ok with it. When I met with the bishop later for a different reason, he asked why I didn’t accept the calling. I told him that I had the potential to work on Sundays (which I am now doing) and that it wasn’t a good fit for me. He seemed very unhappy with that answer but accepted it. Really, honesty is the best policy. If it’s not a good fit, tell them the spirit said no. Always use the spirit, it helps back up why you’re saying no.
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