Healthy Responses to Objections: The Character Objection

[Anonymous]

Here is another pattern I’ve noticed in some more orthodox members’ objections to comments I have made.

Quote:

Initial concern:

I know we are supposed to be doing home teaching, but I am finding the commitments I have in my work, pressures from my family to spend more time with them, my disabled son, and the fact that I am going to school part time, with three young children at home, makes it difficult.

Typical answer: You’re being selfish. You might want to find ways of freeing up time from other, more selfish things you are doing, so you can serve others.

How would you respond to the selfishness/lack of character objection that I have often heard?

[Anonymous]

SilentDawning wrote:

Here is another pattern I’ve noticed in some more orthodox members’ objections to comments I have made.

Quote:

Initial concern:

I know we are supposed to be doing home teaching, but I am finding the commitments I have in my work, pressures from my family to spend more time with them, my disabled son, and the fact that I am going to school part time, with three young children at home, makes it difficult.

Typical answer: You’re being selfish. You might want to find ways of freeing up time from other, more selfish things you are doing, so you can serve others.

How would you respond to the selfishness/lack of character objection that I have often heard?

I am so happy to be judged by someone, but I am only worried when the Lord tells me I am being selfish. Then I would ask them to read Matthew 7:3. I guess I am saying give them a passive aggressive finger.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

“Thank you for your loving answer.”

Smile and walk away.

Those with ears to hear will hear; those who are deaf will feel pleased with themselves.

You can laugh internally at the second group, instead of getting upset at them.

[Anonymous]

I personally would smile and nod in the lesson about home teaching and then not do it – just like everyone else. My HT companion is the EQP and I happen to know that we almost never get out to do home teaching. I personally ask my home teachers to come over once a year to help set up the trampoline.

But if I was caught in that particular case I would probably respond that I probably do have too much going on right now and that I will look to see where I can simplify. (…and then still not do home teaching) :shh:

[Anonymous]

Roy wrote:

I personally would smile and nod in the lesson about home teaching and then not do it – just like everyone else. My HT companion is the EQP and I happen to know that we almost never get out to do home teaching. I personally ask my home teachers to come over once a year to help set up the trampoline.

But if I was caught in that particular case I would probably respond that I probably do have too much going on right now and that I will look to see where I can simplify. (…and then still not do home teaching) :shh:

Roy — I think this is a very good, non-confrontive approach. Curious why you favor it (since it’s a bit passive agressive, which has a negative connotation as teh receiver finds it annoying, and may keep after you indefinitely to do HT since they think there is still hope) over other techniques that help people understand where you stand

[Anonymous]

I actually do go home teaching once in a while (quarterly or bi-annually). I really don’t mind visiting to check up on people – just the once a month regimented part that doesn’t thrill me.

So I figure that my home teaching stats are on par or even better than average. :lolno: I make no promises that I will have 100% home teaching. I smile and nod to the HT lesson or agree that I am probably overloaded and will need to look at my schedule to see where I can simplify. This is non-commital, non-confrontational, and does keep hope (and future options) alive for a greater commitment at a future date. This is by design.

[Anonymous]

Roy wrote:

This is non-commital, non-confrontational, and does keep hope (and future options) alive for a greater commitment at a future date. This is by design.

I take the same approach in my face to face relationships at church. On the other hand, I am finding I am becoming more willing to share unorthodox ideas, even if it hits my reputation. I think it’s part of getting comfortable with your own skin. Perhaps I’m too comfortable

So I take this to mean that you opt for non-confrontational, non-assertive responses, because to you, keeping options open is more important than making other think. This is what I got from what you said, as you didn’t say it explicitly, and I think it makes sense.

[Author]

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