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workingitout wrote:
I personally don’t believe that God is going to tear apart a family if they haven’t been through the temple, or are having doubts about some of the doctrine of a church. I have two children that have left the church (one is a return missionary). It’s hard to go to church and see all of the families that are still living that LDS ideal of everyone in the family being active in the church. When I go to church, I pretty much feel like a fraud. I’m not comfortable telling anyone except my husband and RM child about some of my concerns, and I’m afraid it would break the rest of my family’s heart to know that I have these feelings. It is very lonely to be in this position. Sometimes I would like to just walk away from it and live a life that feels more true to what I believe. I don’t think I can do that to my husband and family that are still strong believers though. I’m not sure how to reconcile my feelings, but it’s nice to be able to share them without feeling like I’m letting someone down, or feeling guilty about it all.
I too can relate. My kids are not in the church and neither is my husband now. How can God condemn us for having doubts and questions when he said to ‘prove all things and hold fast to that which is good.” My daughter and her family have been at my home in Florida all week vacationing from Texas. They are strong evangelicals and have tried to get me away from the lds church for a long time now. We attended the Nazarene church while she was here and they loved it and so did I. I feel they really show the love of Christ in this particlular church better than alot I have been too. Yet, I have had many good experiences in the lds church as well and still cling to many of their teachings that I think are good. I tend to believe JS was a fallen prophet but brought forth some good stuff. A week ago, Glen Beck had all these ministers on his show and one was my daughters minister Pastor Haggi. All the ministers praised some things about the Mormon faith which was interesting. I don’t think we can ever completely know what is true or false about JS or the church so I set alot aside until the second coming I guess and just hang on to what I think is good. Being anchored in Christ and trying to build a relationship with God right now is what matters most to me.
I just wanted to thank everyone for your warm welcome. I am touched by your insight and warmth. I feel a real connection with many of you and the posts I am reading. One thing I would appreciate is more information on the buffet Mormon concept. My take is that you focus on the aspects that feel good and right, and don’t stress too much on the ones that feel wrong or are upsetting. Am I in the ballpark? Quote:My take is that you focus on the aspects that feel good and right, and don’t stress too much on the ones that feel wrong or are upsetting.
Nobody does everything that Mormons might do if they did everything that is taught as good and right. Nobody. We even have a canonized “doctrine” that allows us to not do everything:
Quote:“For every purpose there is a time and a season under the sun . . . a time to . . . and a time to . . .”
“It is not requisite that you should run faster than you are able to walk.”
(I’m going off of memory, and my memory for quotes isn’t the greatest, so please excuse me if those quotes are slightly off. The point isn’t.)
Buffet Mormonism is nothing more than a way to say that you will get horrible indigestion if you try to eat everything in the Church cafeteria all at once (and many of those who try end up purging and running away feeling sick) – that each of us has a slightly different “constitution” when it comes to what we can handle and what our systems can accept – that every single member (even the most “fundamentalist” among us) has to ignore some apostolic statements to latch on to others – etc. Every one of us chooses what we ingest and what we ignore.
Recognizing that – and respecting the eating habits of those who choose courses from which we choose to abstain – are two of the first steps to peace and tolerance and acceptance and real charity.
workingitout wrote:I feel a real connection with many of you and the posts I am reading. One thing I would appreciate is more information on the buffet Mormon concept. My take is that you focus on the aspects that feel good and right, and don’t stress too much on the ones that feel wrong or are upsetting. Am I in the ballpark?
Then you definitely belong here, or to our “tendency”!
😆 Most of us are in the same position, although we do have to deal with the bad aspects too, because we live in the real world. (Regrettably.
Ray, What a great way of describing Buffet Mormon. So I think what you are saying is that every member of the church is a buffet mormon, some are just more concious of it than others. And I’m so happy to hear you talk about our individual constitutions. I think the comparing we do in the church can be so devastating, especially amongst us women.
canadiangirl wrote:So I think what you are saying is that every member of the church is a buffet mormon, some are just more concious of it than others.
I think that is a good way to say it. People may think it is a lack of commitment to not do everything we are asked to do, but the reality is no one can do it all. So we all pick and choose.
[img]http://tokfias.blogg.se/oz/images/2010/smorgasbord_93511255.jpg [/img] Are we allowed to be smorgasbord Mormons?
You know, I really like that picture when it comes to a discussion of the Gospel and the Church. There’s just SO much there – most of which looks delicious to me but some of which I probably wouldn’t touch if I looked more closely. Ironically, the stuff I wouldn’t touch probably would be considered by others to be the most amazing delicacies. Yeah, some people would like the meat, and some would prefer the fruit, other people would just admire the way it’s presented and laid out… That picture reminds me of how it looks so amazing, as Ray said, but I end up with too much on my plate followed by a sense of failure that I cant finish it all. Sometimes our eyes are bigger than our capacities to digest. I’m working on this ‘buffet’ concept. I’ll admit though that it’s hard for me to cast aside the “all or nothing” concept I’ve accepted for so many years. Having to face a bona fide faith crisis is making this possible for me, but I am taking my sweet time figuring things out… Good luck to you as you sort things out. I hope this forum helps you as much as it does me!
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