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Yes BoT, it does sound like you have a wonderful wife. believeroftruth wrote:…She asked me to be completely honest and hold nothing back from her so that she can process it all …
That sounds like a great attitude she has – taking things head on. It probably goes without saying (but I’m going to say it anyway) that honesty is best applied with tact and purpose. An opinion such as “that dress looks horrible on you” may be honest, but worded in that way is not very productive. I think there are parallels in the way we frame our faith (a lesson I’m constantly trying to learn).
I’m sorry it has taken so long for me to get around to this thread…but I have a few simple comments. First, welcome! I find this site very loving and thought provoking…it seems to be a great support to many. Second, we’ve all gone through varying degrees of spiritual transformation in our lives. We might have all had a fairy tale dream that has turned out to be quite different as time has passed. The real key is how we adapt to the change.
The great commandment “Love thy neighbor as thyself” is the only unchangable teaching in my mind. Everything else is fluff. So if you love your wife, and she has agreed to go through the “change” with you, consider it a great gift! What you find wrt history, inconsistent doctrinal changes, personality conflicts with leaders…all nothing when you consider that you are able to live in “love” if you choose to.
Good luck on your journey!
So a couple of weeks have passed now since I first shared my doubts with my wife and I am happy to report that the outcome has progressed to a level that has surprised me. My wife although broken hearted for a couple of weeks has said she has accepted the situation and is ready to progress forward with me on this new journey. She has been very understanding and the last couple of days we have sat together and had some real meaningful, intelligent and productive discussions. She has agreed to try to understand my vewpoint by looking a little more closely into the “warts” and I have agreed that I will continue to attend church with her (I didn’t want to leave, but my desire for commitment was minimal) and that I will not give up praying for answers.
There is a wonderful feeling around here now that we are both commited to this journey together. I appreciate everyone’s comments and suggestions. They have helped immensely. I know it will still be difficult for her, but she is an intelligent loving person and is going into this with an open mind, (as evidenced by our discussions yesterday and today.)
I will keep everyone updated on how her and I are progressing and look forward to receiving and hopefully one day giving support from this staylds community. Thank you my friends.
You might be interested in an old post I wrote about my marriage: My Marriage as a Metaphor for My Church (
http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=238&start=0&hilit=metaphor I am not sure if I will be able to adress your concern about priesthood blessings in exactly the way you need, but let me give you an eye opening experience I had. A few years back my wife and I with our oldest son went to see my grandpa. He was about 89 years old at that time, his wife, my stepgrandma, had died and left him to fend for himself alone at his house. His bowels plugged up and he was starting to die of some sort of toxicity. He looked tired and weak when we saw him and we talked about things for a while.
I need to say that at this time of my life I was not feeling close to God, doubted His existance and wondered if I was worthy to give blessings because I felt discusting inside. However I knew this was going to be one of the last times that I was going to see my grandpa and I felt some sort of compasion for him and wanted to show it somehow. I decided to give him a blessing to help him through the rest of his time. This was not a spiritual experience, I do not recall feeling the spirit at all and was not sure that I was guided in what I should say. I simply gave the blessing as a last ditch effort to spite my doubts as a gift to him for comfort or something.
I remember promising that he would live the remainder of his time on earth in reasonable comfort and some other platitudes and then closed the blessings and feeling a bit embarrased quickly said goodbye and left.
A few days later my uncle who lives in the same town as my grandpa went to his house and took him to the hospital and there they reamed out his bowels and cleaned him up. Within a few days Grandpa was taken to a rest home and since has remained relatively comfortable, but he’s not dead yet and is about to turn 94.
It could all be coincidence that everything has worked out the way I promised in the blessing, or maybe not. But it changed a point of view in my mind and I am now sure that no matter how I feel inside, I can give a blessing and the Lord willing will honor it. At the time that I gave the blessing I was not unworthy, I just felt unworthy. I believe it was the compassion that I felt that was the key in all this, and I believe after some reflection that I was given that compasion at that time. I could have cared less if my grandpa had died.
As for you giving blessings to your wife, I wouldn’t think there would be anything wrong with giving them as long as you have remained worthy to give them. God can honor any blessing He choses reguardless of a persons faith or lack of faith, He is all powerful, and you still do have the Priesthood. That’s just my opinion, same goes for going to the temple. It might feel like living a lie, (at least it did to me and I hated it,) and going against what you currently believed, but I think it is still doable and good, and compassionate, and abides in the spirit of love. These are just my thoughts on it.
I am sure that God is over and in control of His plans and I don’t have to know what they are. I just have to do my part and wait on the Lord to do things in His way for me. Who would I be to complain otherwise?
I hope this helps…
believeroftruth wrote:So a couple of weeks have passed now since I first shared my doubts with my wife and I am happy to report that the outcome has progressed to a level that has surprised me.
My wife although broken hearted for a couple of weeks has said she has accepted the situation and is ready to progress forward with me on this new journey. She has been very understanding and the last couple of days we have sat together and had some real meaningful, intelligent and productive discussions. She has agreed to try to understand my vewpoint by looking a little more closely into the “warts” and I have agreed that I will continue to attend church with her (I didn’t want to leave, but my desire for commitment was minimal) and that I will not give up praying for answers.
There is a wonderful feeling around here now that we are both commited to this journey together. I appreciate everyone’s comments and suggestions. They have helped immensely. I know it will still be difficult for her, but she is an intelligent loving person and is going into this with an open mind, (as evidenced by our discussions yesterday and today.)
I will keep everyone updated on how her and I are progressing and look forward to receiving and hopefully one day giving support from this staylds community. Thank you my friends.
Wow Believer. This is wonderful. You wife sounds like good people to me.
I think you’re going to be just fine. believeroftruth wrote:I believe brother Joseph was inspired, wether he wrote it or translated it, to bring it to the world. Much like Buddha, Mohammed, Zoroaster, Wesley, Luther, Calvin, Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Karol Wojtyla, Joseph Ratzinger, Tommy Monson and many more. I believe they are all among the prophets and all contributed and contribute to increase our understanding of God’s plan. I do believe the church is TRUE, but I believe it is one of the true churches. I also believe that Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Spritism,Ba’hai’s, Christianity in general(Baptists, Evangelicals, Catholics, Pentecostals, Jehovah’s Witnesses)etc are all God’s true church. All give different perspectives and unique insights on God’s plan for us. We must take the truth from wherever it comes and incorporate it into our lives.
I like this perspective, believer! Keep on believing!
welcome!
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