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Maybe this has been covered in an earlier post, but I don’t see anything really recent on it. I am struggling to get through the block each week. I struggle in several areas: 1. Doctrine and theology I no longer believe in.
2. Cultural things that are imbued as doctrine, or at least considered what everyone
mustbelieve. Example from today was that “Fact” that prayer being taken out of schools is a sign of people not seeking Christ. 3. Sexism in our culture.
4. Conservative politics represented as the true gospel way.
5. Nutty things people say in testimony meeting and otherwise.
6. Sheer boredom under the new curriculum.
So, I realize that all I can really change is me. I have been trying to focus on the associations that I value, the time I get with my wife and daughter (and how beautiful they are in their Sunday finest), values I still share with the church and being involved in the music (ward choir, etc). I have also started imparting some counterpoints (not arguments) where I think I can add some value to the conversations without raising eyebrows and suspicions.
Are there other practical tips that my staylds friends can provide? My wife and I are both struggling, yet we know this is our tribe, and if we want to continue and be part of familial temple sealings, etc, that we are going to have to put up with it.
a) Regarding the 3-Hour Block and hard-to-take comments: I take an eBook reader with me to Sacrament meeting, and turn to it when things get boring or someone says something that I find disturbing. I keep the back color dark so it isn’t so obstrusive. Frankly, I can’t tell you most of what is said in Sacrament meeting any longer, I am so insulated by this method. I have young children so often I leave with one of them for a break and we play hangman on the boards, and some quiet games involving keys and small balls for a few minutes, and then come back refreshed. I tend to tune it all out.
I also sometimes bring things with me to memorize on a small piece of paper that keep my mind occupied. Things that are useful. I also clean out my wallet if I’m sitting near a wall where no one can see me.
I also listen to certain people speak when I have a good connection with them and want to build them after the meeting with SINCERE complements on something they said, or just their presentation style.
b) Regarding the conservatism.
Look at it as the culture of the group, and look at it as the cost of belonging and getting the benefits of the organization. Teach your children what you feel is right at home on religio-political types of issues, and reflect on that bastion of freedom when you feel angst in your meetings.
c) Regarding the things you don’t believe — avoid talking about them or teaching them. There is a lot of other things you can talk about in the Church other than hard-to-believe doctrines.
That’s must my two cents. I have the problems getting through the three-hour block too.
SS and SD those are some great ideas! Obviously many of us are in the same boat. I had a hard time listening again, how JS underwent that operation on his leg, “without any brandy” as if it would have been a sin, or tarnished his soul. That was about all I could take. I went down the street to walmart got a box of franzia and went back to church in a much better mood. Actually enjoyed it after that. 
f4h1
Fatherof4husbandof1 wrote:SS and SD those are some great ideas! Obviously many of us are in the same boat. I had a hard time listening again, how JS underwent that operation on his leg, “without any brandy” as if it would have been a sin, or tarnished his soul. That was about all I could take. I went down the street to walmart got a box of franzia and went back to church in a much better mood. Actually enjoyed it after that.
f4h1
When I hear that story, I reflect more on its symbolism of holding true to one’s values in the face of temptation or opposition. So, when I heard that story, I would reflect on how character-building it is for me to hold on to my value of strengthening my kids and wife through my support of Church work. Joseph Smith’s brandy is my tendency to be rebellious, and his abstinence is my attempt at developing a kind attitude toward the Church. You could probably pick your own personal challenge and relate it to the story.
If you look at is as myth or symbol to trigger a connection with your own life, it suddenly transcends the Word of Wisdom….
I am struggling with this myself. Three hours is enough to make my head explode. I’m an introvert, which doesn’t help. Skipping out on SS helps immensely, but my wife likes me there with her, so I try to accommodate that, but often I will skip out on something. If I can do so without being disruptive, I will read a book that I’ve brought along, or memorize a scripture that I find interesting in order to distract myself. I have been PRAYING for a two hour block for years now, and “all things are possible with faith.” 🙂 unfortunately as I have stated many times here – I have no faith.
Sit in the back and read. I can do this in Sunday School and Sacrament. I no longer attend Sacrament meeting (only if a grandchild is speaking). I do attend later for one or two hours, on the computer in the family history room. Appropriately five women have chosen to hide out there with me (they don’t want to attend RS). We are friends and socialize. I help folks with their genealogy brick walls, it’s my calling. All the strategies listed so far are great. They work — finding distraction, bring uplifting supplemental material, skipping out sometimes, etc. I do all those too (as needed). Ultimately though, for long-term peace of mind, you have to change how you process church participation. By that, I mean I feel like I have to look past the fact that people there think about “the gospel” differently than I do. This has always been true. Everyone has different views, things they think are important, things they think are unimportant, and things they see different. BUT now I am very aware of this, which I was not before. A key characteristic of Stage 3 thinking is the notion that they believe pretty much what everyone believes (i.e. the “truth”). This isn’t accurate when you get to the details. It’s more a feeling of being part of the group, and looking to the group to tell them what is “true.”
One of my coping strategies is to listen to people, think about
HOWthey are experiencing Mormonism, think about the differences between their way and MYway, and ponder all kinds of cool meaning that comes from that. I learn a lot about myself when I am confronted by people who are different. It helps me see who I am, and how I think. I can not get that alone. I can’t see that walking in the forest, meditating, or talking to myself in a mirror. It’s an extremely valuable spiritual experience — to experience the others’ experiences. The hard part is not feeling threatened when “the others” are strutting around trying to convince themselves by sounding very sure.
The whole thing is fascinating to me, really.
Kind of like Brian, I listen intently mot of the time – and tune out to contemplate the general topic on my own whenever necessary. A book works well for those who don’t want to sit and think.
Volunteering to work in the nursery is a good idea for many people, too.
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