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Hi, Just thought I would say hi since I am new here. So far I have really enjoyed reading everything here on the board and I really like some of the tips. Just knowing I am not the only one struggling is comforting. Earlier tonight I was feeling very depressed and sad about the church and after reading what others have said here on the board I feel a little more positive, calm, and hopeful. I have been going to church off and on for a very long time (about 5 years) and I am hoping that I will be able to keep going since there are so many things I love about the lds church. I struggle with a couple things but I am hoping that this will be a place that I can be understood and also talk about a few things so that hopefully I can look at them in a new positive way or just not feel so depressed or sad. I am tired of feeling hopeless and unhappy when I think about church or certain things. Aren’t we supposed to feel lighthearted when we go to church and walk away feeling peace? Many times I enjoy and get much from church but other times it is very difficult. I really like an idea I read hear about bringing a book to read if something makes you feel comfortable or something like that.. (don’t remember exact words)
Thank you everyone for sharing your ideas and tips. Look forward to talking.
mormonmom wrote:I really like an idea I read hear about bringing a book to read if something makes you feel comfortable or something like that.. (don’t remember exact words)
Hi, mormonmom. Thanks for saying hi. Dathon at the NOM forums calls them his “quiet books”.
mormonmom wrote:Aren’t we supposed to feel lighthearted when we go to church and walk away feeling peace?
Yes, but in the stage between happily agreeing with everything conventionally and happily agreeing with a small part or a certain perspective comes a stage where we most violently react inwardly to the part that offends us.
In that stage, I have philosophically talked my way through church attendance like this:
Leaving won’t make any difference. The same old problematic teachings will continue whether I am there to be rubbed wrong by them or whether I am far away. Leaving is nothing more than a coping mechanism for myself. If I have to leave to feel lighthearted and feel peace, I probably should leave. But as far as I can handle being there in all my heretical glory, happily and peacefully, I probably should cope while staying. That’s where quiet books, nursery service, picking up trash, cleaning the bathrooms, and sitting in on primary classes (maybe not always good coping) come in handy.
I look forward to whatever you have the time and inclination to share here.
Tom
Good to have you here. Welcome Mormonmon. You are definitely not the only one struggling. I’m not a gambling man, but I would bet there are even others in your ward with similar feelings at times. Please feel free to jump in and participate in the discussions or ask questions. We can learn as much from you about how you are making your own way down the path.
The first few things I can think of after reading about your journey is the conscious decision to enjoy what brings you happiness, peace, divinity, enlightenment and joy at Church. Let the other things just float away. We are not going to agree with everything everyone else says. That is actually normal, the way it has always been really. *WE* see it now though, when before we thought everyone thought just like us (or that we thought just like everyone else).
It does get better though.
Welcome, mormonmon. Nice to have you at the site. Welcome! Please feel free to post more about whatever is on your mind! mormonmom wrote:I am tired of feeling hopeless and unhappy when I think about church or certain things. Aren’t we supposed to feel lighthearted when we go to church and walk away feeling peace? Many times I enjoy and get much from church but other times it is very difficult. I really like an idea I read hear about bringing a book to read if something makes you feel comfortable or something like that.
Welcome, mormonmom. Glad you are here and I look forward to learning from your experiences.I think church is supposed to be about finding more peace, not more guilt or sadness or depression. I feel like you many times where some Sundays are hard, but some are worthwhile. I try to focus on the good things I can get out of it, and let go of the others, but don’t feel guilty if I bring something else to read or play on my blackberry. I used to worry about if others thought I was a slacker…but I don’t worry so much about what others think anymore. I figure going to church is for my benefit, or I don’t need to go…I don’t do it for others…its about me and my journey to find peace and my relationship to God.
Welcome to the forum.
Welcome to the board! I hope you soon find the peace you desire. I know I get it in spurts. Part of that might be motherhood, though! Peace ebbs and flows in most areas of my life. Heber13 wrote:I figure going to church is for my benefit, or I don’t need to go…I don’t do it for others…its about me and my journey to find peace and my relationship to God.
This is well said, reflects some of my thoughts.
mormonmom wrote:Aren’t we supposed to feel lighthearted when we go to church and walk away feeling peace?
YES! Well, eventually, anyway. The most beautiful part of this whole process for me was how it came full circle. At first, the church gave me great peace, comfort, direction. Then for a while, I struggled. Now, it gives me peace, comfort, direction – but for entirely different and deeper reasons. The road was long and hard, but very worthwhile. I’m excited to see where your journey takes you.
Welcome, mormonmom! Hope you feel at peace, at least here with us for the time being. Wow thanks for all your replies. I really like what Tom said
“Leaving won’t make any difference. The same old problematic teachings will continue whether I am there to be rubbed wrong by them or whether I am far away. Leaving is nothing more than a coping mechanism for myself. If I have to leave to feel lighthearted and feel peace, I probably should leave. But as far as I can handle being there in all my heretical glory, happily and peacefully, I probably should cope while staying. That’s where quiet books, nursery service, picking up trash, cleaning the bathrooms, and sitting in on primary classes (maybe not always good coping) come in handy.
I think I am going to write that down in a book and take it with me to church and read it. It is very true!
I once heard a saying that church is there to “comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.” I think church should serve these dual purposes. Welcome Mormon Mom.
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