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Hi Utah County, Totally empathize with where you are. IMO this is a very good place to be. It is open, friendly, not negative and allows freedom of speech, the lack of which can be one of the most frustrating aspects of staying LDS. It is especially hard if you don’t have a close friend or family member who is going through the same thing.
I hope you find this as helpful as I have, there are some very thoughtful intelligent people here that have helped me to see in print a clearer presentation of my own thoughts and feelings.
Others on this thread have suggested you look at Fowlers stages of Faith, I found them very helpful too, acknowledging them actually made me feel as though perhaps I was on a path towards something extremely positive rather than on total self destruct. Give it a look.
I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts!
hawkgrrrl wrote:Where I am right now is to say that spiritual experiences, whatever they are, are personal and only important to us individually.
I was there for about 30 minutes. Then I remembered an experience that drove me elsewhere, driven by love.
One day, out of the blue, I was ‘told’ that a relative was pregnant and “She doesn’t need to marry that man.” I immediately thought “She needs to know this” followed by “but then why didn’t God tell HER that” followed by “Good grief, this isn’t my home, I’ve never seen her in my life before, and she’s my wife’s sister’s husband’s sister! How remote is that!” then “There’s no way I can do this and not get tossed out of the home”.
I didn’t say anything. But it turned out to be true, objectively true. They were engaged shortly thereafter, and they married. A few years later (5?) he was an abusive alcoholic with her too afraid to leave him to protect herself and their two children. I felt TERRIBLE that I didn’t let it go beyond myself. Now, today, I am not beating myself up over this, she has finally left him and found a good man and is at peace. It’s a relief that both of us have found peace, but what grief she had to endure!
I now know that sometimes, that which comes to us personally can be useful in other people’s lives.
hawkgrrrl wrote:I believe there is value in understanding them on a personal level rather than seeking for an interpretation outside of ourselves or even from an external worldview…
As time goes on, I find many spiritual epiphanies coming to me that directly relate to the external world. It can be a scary place to be, though. That’s my experience, anyway.
I am now more convinced that my love for others must be realized through my actions. These actions must be directed by the same source as the information provided. If I can find no acceptable way to do this, I ponder the experience and try to learn from it. I’m still learning.
Utah County, welcome and thanks for sharing. Here’s my intro – it may be of use to you:
http://www.staylds.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=174http://www.staylds.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=174” class=”bbcode_url”> HiJolly
Great introduction. It’s so interesting to me to read everyone’s stories and see some of the common themes. I live in Utah County too, so I can certainly empathize. I think we share the same sense of loss, anger and isolation. We need the Daily Herald to put out an article: “Surviving Utah County: A Guide for Mormons in Fowler Stage 4 and 5.” (Can you imagine the letters to the editor?) What led you to question? What was your tipping point? How are you working things out with your spouse?
My only advice is to read as much as you can from the archives before posting on some of the topics you’ve mentioned. There’s LOTS of good discussion here on lots of what’s in your intro. Oh, and WELCOME!!
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