Hi, my name is newdirections, and I’m a Mormon (I think?)

[Anonymous]

Hi newdirections. I’ve just joined the site and can agree so much on the point about this feeling like a safe place to discuss things that would be offensive elsewhere.

I think it’s a real shame that priciples of chastity are taught and applied so poorly in the church. I think it’s a combination of ignorance, awkwardness, embarrassment and prejudice in various doses that leads to Bishops and youth leaders treating the topic very badly.

I was fortunate enough to have a fantastic Bishop throughout my youth who dealt with it in a much more positive way. I offer this, not in any way as a preaching at you, but simply to show that some leaders are able to deal with things more appropriately.

He would teach us that sex is something wonderful. The sexual feelings we had as teenagers were natural and God-given. It was perfectly normal to be sexually attracted to people and there was no sin in that in and of itself. Sex, he taught us, was like your most favourite ever meal. Delicious, tasty, satisfying, fulfilling. Marriage, he told us, was like asking a blessing on the food. Look forward to it, but don’t touch it until it’s blessed, and no snacking before-hand, else that reduces the special nature of the blessed banquet. But, he’d then say with a smile, once it’s blessed, you can feast and enjoy it. It wasn’t in any way seedy or inappropriate, it was a celebration.

As youth we used to joke a little about him and his wife. But truth be told, we aspired to their clearly loving relationship.

I know that doesn’t really help you much at all. In fact it might just make you more frustrated that you had a more heavy-handed treatment. It’s a shame that there’s such inconsistency in the church application of gospel principles based on individual cultural background and experiences.

A few years ago I spent about 3-4 months visiting a councilor from LDS family services. She really helped me to talk about a few of my emotional and personal challenges and helped resolve a few challenging aspects of my personal concerns.

[Author]

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