His laws

[Anonymous]

Featherina wrote:

I like this discussion! The commandment to “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” seems contingent upon following the 2nd greatest commandment…to love others as ourselves. We are not only commanded to love others, but also to love ourselves! That doesn’t necessarily mean I pamper myself all day at the salon. It just means that we LEARN (by trial & error) how to love ourselves & others. Realizing there are many interpretations of love (5 love languages is a start)… because what is “best” for myself or others at any given moment will vary & may not even be known by us at that time.

This is a very good point. However, again, I think “love of self” or “self-love” can be so easily misinterpreted in English – it has overtones of everything from arrogance to masturbation to selfishness to self-absorption.

Perhaps self-care is a better phrase here. It’s hard to misconstrue “care” as something other.

[Anonymous]

Sam,

Yeah, it depends on your definition of love. Even “care” could be translated different ways – like focusing on caring for only physical needs, or too much caring, like codependency. I think love is desiring & even working toward the best for oneself or others. But how do you know what’s best? Love is like truth – the more perspectives, the more truthful.

I think consistently loving someone that way, would be God-like. It would take inspiration, courage & commitment to the ultimate good, which we’re blessed with at times, but not always, because we’re not perfect.

[Anonymous]

Co-dependency is a separate issue, but it’s hard for people in the middle of a relation to realize that “loving someone” is not the same as “continuing to live with someone”.

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

Co-dependency is a separate issue, but it’s hard for people in the middle of a relation to realize that “loving someone” is not the same as “continuing to live with someone”.

What exactly is it? I’ve seen it in an LDS textbook recently. What does the church mean by this?

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Co-dependency is a separate issue, but it’s hard for people in the middle of a relation to realize that “loving someone” is not the same as “continuing to live with someone”.

I’ve seen it in an LDS textbook recently. What does the church mean by this?

Not sure what you mean, Sam. Can you clarify for me?

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure what co-dependency means. Is it when two people are overdependent on one another, or two people are addicted to the same thing and encourage each other in it?

[Anonymous]

SanBee,

I think codependency could be both – sharing an addiction & depending (or being too influenced) by another. It’s sacrificing what is best for others & oneself for the illusion of being able to control another – or the illusion that one is allowing another to control one.

Unfortunately (& sometimes fortunately) I know a lot about codependency – both good & bad because it’s the extreme of empathy & compassion – but for others not for oneself. It manifests itself different ways – like feeling through others – so that you’re oblivious to how you feel, others are the center of your life causing you to neglect yourself. Another form of codependency is 2 specific people like an alcoholic & his/her spouse who enables the alcoholic…constantly rescuing & not letting him hit rock bottom so he can bounce out of it. A codependent person depends on another for how they think, feel & act.

Even healthy relationships are influenced by each other – but they don’t sacrifice what’s best for such illusions.

[Anonymous]

Okay, thanks, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if it referred to that (very common, have known a few drunken/drug taking couples)

[Author]

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