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I was thinking about this the other day driving home from work — about awakening to the realities in history, even the realities of real life. Sorry for the wall of text, but I thought I would share my mental musings. Over a good 20+ years since becoming an adult, I feel like I have gone through a long process of seeing the world as it is. What I mean by this is growing up with an idealized view of the world:
-America always does good in the world and promotes freedom and democracy.
-The government follows the rules and protects us.
-Adults are in control and know the answers.
-People with big titles and positions of power are in control and know the answers.
-Happiness is getting all the toys you think you want (applies to adults and children)
all this kind of stuff … a part of it was also that the Church was perfect and everything it ever taught was constant, unchanging, dependable and delivered directly from God without a flaw.
So I entered my journey in adulthood going on a mission. There, I found out that people in leadership were just regular people. Some were even pretty psycho. Life is messy…
After a mission, I jumped right into the Mormon model of the ideal, got married and started a big family. That has been rocky and turbulent, still a great experience I value, but far from the what I imagined. That’s fine.
I ended up joining the Army to support my family (having no career skills or education at the time). That got me into studying history and government. I also had a high-level security clearance, so I got to see first-hand sometimes how dysfunctional and messy the “reality” of things are. Through all this, I came to see that we don’t really fight wars for beautiful principles and ideals, to give people freedom. The world is a messy, brutal place. History is full of this same story of conflict over resources, over and over again, going back thousands of years. That was a big does of “awakening” into a non-idealized reality.
I later went into the business world, where I get to be very close to people who “run things.” I get to see how chaotic and messy everything really is behind the veneer of outward appearances. That is another form of awakening. I’ve studied more history, of business and the world. It’s a lot of glorious stories of people who gambled and flew by the seat of their pants. The lucky winners appear like geniuses. The losers are forgotten or turn into a management case study…
Most recently in life, I find myself in the DAMU. I had to face the Church that was the framework of my entire life. This is where I was thinking about a comparison the other day. People leave the Church when they find out it has warts, that it isn’t perfect, and fails sometimes (or often times) at our own ideals. But do people leave the US (or their country) when they find out we’ve fought wars and killed to protect profits of big business through out our history? Do people go off and live in a cave and become self-sufficient nomads when they find out that business is really about profit/survival at all costs, much less than the ideal? George Washington didn’t chop down a cherry tree and then tell the truth as a child. Abe Lincoln really didn’t care about slaves. Kennedy was a mad womanizer … so that makes the entire USA and everyone who stands on the soil a fraud. (replace with any country and your own mythological/historical heroes).
But somehow I expected a church populated by these same wonderful, fascinating, chaotic, warty humans to really deliver perfection. I know this sounds a little negative, but I don’t mean it that way at all. You all know me here. I love it. I was just contemplating my former expectations, of which I feel I was slowly disabused over time. In reality, it is a good thing. I feel heartache sometimes at the loss of that dream. But I also feel empowered, excited and mostly compassionate about seeing things as they are.
I am grateful for this roller coaster of a journey. That is what I was thinking about.
You’re an interesting guy, Valoel. On the way home from work yesterday, I thought, “I wonder if I’ll eat hamburgers or spaghetti tonight?” – not really on the same level as you I guess. 
While the world history, and businesses and careers, and the path to peace and happiness are all based on perceptions as we deal with each other and influence others or are influenced by others, I still hold the optimistic outlook that no matter how people present the picture of why things are done, the truth will prevail.
In business, shady practices can prop a business up for some time, in the end, if it is built on misinformation or lies (Enron), it is hard to sustain it in the long run. The markets make adjustments for overpriced houses, the interest on debt eventually takes its toll, the Soviet Union eventually runs out of resources to prop up its facade of the strength of communism, and the salamander papers are eventually exposed as fraudulent.
Life is not easy, though. It is hard to tell truth from lies, especially when carefully spun by crafty individuals. But I maintain my faith that I can learn truth if I keep seeking, even when I can only see through a glass, darkly for now.
Heber13 wrote:But I maintain my faith that I can learn truth if I keep seeking, even when I can only see through a glass, darkly for now.
Forgive me, but when I read the word “truth,” I couldn’t help but think of the hymn “Oh Say, What Is Truth?”
Then say, what is truth? ’Tis the last and the first,For the limits of time it steps o’er.
Tho the heavens depart and the earth’s fountains burst,
Truth, the sum of existence, will weather the worst,
Eternal, unchanged, evermore.
Text: John Jaques, 1827–1900
I do not have anything more profound to add.
Awesome post Valoel. I just sent your last 3 paragraphs to a friend. I hadn’t read your Gospel of Thomas quote before–that is wonderful too!!!! @Valoel: Very interesting thought, I hadn’t made that comparison in my own mind. I know that, for me, I pretend that in this representative republican form of government, I have a voice and can affect change and this gives me hope in the investment that I have in my own country. Plus, we all know that shady things happen in politics, government, business, etc. so we learn to be immune to the scandals, corruption, etc.
However, we perceive and view the church and our religious experience in mormonism in a different paradigm. Obviously, due to the claims of absolute truth, the individual is left to believe it all or leave it all. It’s a false choice built on a false premise, but it is perpetuated by the culture and tradition of mormonism.
I actually view the process of picking and choosing one’s religious experience as a net positive for the human experience. Diversity of thought is always a good thing in the long run, and the marriage between church and state in Latin America, for example, has been a net negative for the human experience.
Having said that, I don’t think mormons are unique to the process of “unrealistic expectations” in religious practice but we may be one of the more extreme due to the extreme homogeneity of thought and background, at least in the U.S.
Ummm, yeah, what swimordie said. 
But seriously Valoel, good thoughts. I like it a lot. A few thoughts.
I haven’t been around the block as much as you. I too have high level security clearance, and have seen similar things as you describe though. I still struggle to understand my role in the various organizations to which I belong. I think, however, the struggle is natural, and should exist. If the organization wins out you get an Orwellian society and abdicate your decision making, and if the individual wins out you potentially lose unity, safety, and other group benefits.
I do think there are at least 2 major problems though with the comparison to the U.S., etc.
1. As swimordie said, we have a say in our gov’t. Of course I don’t have a say in many of the other organizations to which I belong, and I don’t agree with them 100% and yet I choose to remain. My argument against this point is that my membership in an organization does not serve as a complete endorsement of their platform. Many ex-mormons have tried to claim that I am “supporting” the church even though I don’t necessarily agree with them. But I don’t agree with torture either, and yet I’m still proud to be an American. Nevertheless, this argument is valid.
2. The U.S. gov’t, indeed, all other organizations to which I belong do not have near the grandiose claims to truth, authority, and salvation that the church does. If the gov’t made me all sorts of promises and then didn’t deliver, I would leave. But the truth is, I don’t want them to take care of me, or make me promises, except that they’ll stay out of my life (which they refuse to do incidentally
👿 ). But none of our gov’t leaders claim to have authority from God and speak to the world about God’s will. Rather, our gov’t leaders have authority because we say so, because we all agreed upon it (through an accepted system of voting). There is a big difference in the church’s authority claims, and the claims of the U.S. gov’t. But I do concede that occasionally the U.S. acts like it is blessed from God to go warmongering and spread democracy to uninterested countries.Anyway, the comparison makes sense, but I don’t think we can brush these arguments under the rug.
Oh, and I love this part:
Valoel wrote:You all know me here. I love it. I was just contemplating my former expectations, of which I feel I was slowly disabused over time. In reality, it is a good thing. I feel heartache sometimes at the loss of that dream. But I also feel empowered, excited and mostly compassionate about seeing things as they are.
I am grateful for this roller coaster of a journey. That is what I was thinking about.
Yes, I love the journey as well, and am thankful for it.jmb275 wrote:There is a big difference in the church’s authority claims, and the claims of the U.S. gov’t.
It is an interesting comparison. The government is the organization built upon people who claim to be smart and will lead the country to growth and stability (arm of flesh), and the church is built upon the faith that despite the mortals leading it, they are directly being led by God and so one is to overlook the people weaknesses and have faith in the cause or the doctrine or the mission of the church, believing God is involved in directing it.
Valoel wrote:The lucky winners appear like geniuses. The losers are forgotten or turn into a management case study…
In the church history, those that were successful (or “winners”) and helping the church grow are not lucky, but “inspired”.
I think Valoel’s comments are interesting because I think no matter what organization you look at (business, government, religion), success or failure depends upon adherence to universal virtues such as honesty, benevolence, hard-work, service to the people.
Valoel wrote:Most recently in life, I find myself in the DAMU. I had to face the Church that was the framework of my entire life. This is where I was thinking about a comparison the other day. People leave the Church when they find out it has warts, that it isn’t perfect, and fails sometimes (or often times) at our own ideals. But do people leave the US (or their country) when they find out we’ve fought wars and killed to protect profits of big business through out our history? Do people go off and live in a cave and become self-sufficient nomads when they find out that business is really about profit/survival at all costs, much less than the ideal? George Washington didn’t chop down a cherry tree and then tell the truth as a child. Abe Lincoln really didn’t care about slaves. Kennedy was a mad womanizer … so that makes the entire USA and everyone who stands on the soil a fraud. (replace with any country and your own mythological/historical heroes).
But somehow I expected a church populated by these same wonderful, fascinating, chaotic, warty humans to really deliver perfection….
You’re statements about our government and the parallels to the Church are really interesting. I agree with you—our country/government has lots of warts, it is far from perfect, and it fails at many levels. People don’t generally renounce their citizenship and move–but lots and lots of people try and change their government. When I started to learn more about our country’s dark side, I was surprised, but not shaken anywhere near the way I was when I started learning about the Church. Why? Because our government doesn’t claim to have God guiding it in all that it does.
I’ve posted about this before, but the difficulty with religion is the way we are allowed to discuss it. We can rip the government, we can fight for change, we can elect new leaders, etc. but we can’t do those things with the Church. If one happens to be too vocal about the Church publicly, they most likely will find themselves at a disciplinary hearing. In that respect, the Church functions more like China or Iran–I know that sounds terrible, but the analogy fits. I’ve been personally told that if I share my thoughts/feelings/beliefs about the Church with people outside of my family, I can plan on being excommunicated. On the other hand, I affiliate with some pretty liberal political groups, I blog about our government and leaders in less than flattering ways, and I know that I’m not going to lose my citizenship over it.
Heber13 wrote:jmb275 wrote:There is a big difference in the church’s authority claims, and the claims of the U.S. gov’t.
It is an interesting comparison. The government is the organization built upon people who claim to be smart and will lead the country to growth and stability (arm of flesh), and the church is built upon the faith that despite the mortals leading it, they are directly being led by God and so one is to overlook the people weaknesses and have faith in the cause or the doctrine or the mission of the church, believing God is involved in directing it.
I think this is inaccurate. The gov’t (at least ours) is the organization built upon the collective wisdom of the people being governed, not by those who claim to be smart. Our gov’t is a democracy/republic, the church is an oligarchy/aristocracy (in spiritual terms) with a head-nod to democracy.Heber13 wrote:Valoel wrote:The lucky winners appear like geniuses. The losers are forgotten or turn into a management case study…
In the church history, those that were successful (or “winners”) and helping the church grow are not lucky, but “inspired”.
I think Valoel’s comments are interesting because I think no matter what organization you look at (business, government, religion), success or failure depends upon adherence to universal virtues such as honesty, benevolence, hard-work, service to the people.
I think it’s a mixed bag. Do cheaters prosper? Absolutely. Sometimes they get caught, sometimes they don’t. However, in the long run, I do agree that success or failure is to some degree a function of those values. This may have more to do with the fact that we, the partakers of the organizations, also like those values and tend to abhor those who violate them.It is a lot easier to leave the church than to renounce one’s citizenship and leave the country. Most countries require non-citizens to be employed and have a green card. So on that score the analogy really doesn’t work. As a scholar of US foreign policy sometimes I want to, though. The country truly has a dark side.
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