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As a home schooling parent I have noticed that the opinions and attitudes others have about my decision to home school in not unlike the attitudes many TBM members have toward unorthodox or “buffet mormons”… that I am misguided and my different ways of doing things will be harmful to my children. Just as I have a hard time discussing church in the outside world… my educational approach is a topic I avoid.
This site has been extremely helpful place for me to vent a little, and have civil discussions about gospel topics. I thought this site could be helpful in this area of my life as well (and for you other home schoolers on this forum
…maybe we should call ourselves “buffet schoolers”
I will post more later…
OHHH I love that term “buffet schoolers” because that term fits me perfectly. I use what ever educational method or institution fills the needs of my children. My oldest ds14 attends the public school for phys ed, industrial arts and seminary (small town release time seminary) my dd12 goes to band at the school and we do the rest of their core work at home. We have a very flexible system in Canada (well in my province, each province is different) and especially in our school district. I even receive funding to purchase curriculum and other resources for their individual education plans. This of course makes me accountable to some authority which can be seen as restrictive but I’m able to work with it. My ds 10 and 8 haven’t felt that they needed a public school experience yet. I am a very open-minded homeschooler who seeks the best that eduation has to offer for my kids. It works for our family. And yes I’m a wierd duck in so many ways. It seems that I don’t trust institutions in general and that leads me to take responsibility for myself and my children in all aspects of my life. Health is another issue where I like to do my own research and figure out what is best for my kids. My dh is a nurse so I trust his judgement and go from there.
So I am definitely a buffet schooler because I don’t exclusively homeschool. I use the resources available to me that will give me the best results for my kids education.
We dabbled in this a little bit, for a short period of time with two of our children (we have 6). To be brutally honest, the vast majority of parents IMO are not going to do a better job at creating a better learning environment than the public schools. That’s my observation. We were not any better at it, and it was a TON more work. I’ve known some parents I thought were really doing their children a disservice — being totally disorganized and not putting the time and resources into it.
That being said, I know some parents that are fantastic at home schooling. Really. It can produce some truly bright and independent thinkers.
In the end, I think true learning is available to anyone who can read. It takes motivation and the right mind. People who want to learn will find the information and seek out the wisdom.
The range of educational experiences in homeschooling is the exact same as in public schooling. It ranges from awesome to mediocre to bad to “throw the parents in jail, ’cause what the ____ were they thinking?!?!” I’ve seen it work wonderfully, and I’ve seen it really screw up kids. The worst situations are when parents who can’t teach take their kids out of public schools to avoid “bad influences” and “the world”. They end up with badly educated, paranoid kids. The best situations are when parents who can teach take their kids of public schools to enhance their educational experiences and tailor to their own learning modalities.
That’s my two cents’ worth, anyway.
Like the church — like any church, no size fits all, and that would be a good principle for public education as well. It’s not for everybody. I am truly glad and please when I see parents who decide to home school their children, put in the time and effort and really give their students a top notch education. Good for them. If all parents would do it – we wouldn’t need public education at all. BUT, I also get frustrated when I see parents take their kids out of school, and not do what they need to to prepare their children for life. I generally see the later, and the negative side effects of HS. Rarely do I see the success stories, and I’m glad to hear about them — I know they are out there – I just don’t experience it much in my position. I also have a hard time with the “pull kids out of school to protect them from the world approach.” I see protestants and JW’s doing this often in my community. I have had many discussions with my own kids about school and the whole “let you light shine —don’t hide your candle under a bushel…” I’m going to guess that this is a big reason that the LDS culture, in general, looks down on home schooling. I’m guessing that many in the church erroneously jump to the conclusion that when a family pulls their kids out to HS, that they are doing it to “protect them” from the evils of the world. I use to believe this — but I like to think that I’m more open minded about it now, and I can accept there is a need for “other pathways” for some, and that public education just doesn’t fit the bill for everybody. Kind of like organized religion.
I agree with both Ray and Brian. This quote is very true, “The range of educational experiences in homeschooling is the exact same as in public schooling. It ranges from awesome to mediocre to bad to “throw the parents in jail, ’cause what the ____ were they thinking?!?!” I’ve seen it work wonderfully, and I’ve seen it really screw up kids.” That is why I find it so frustrating that some people immediately lump me in with the “throw the parents in jail” types. It really isn’t so bad now because of the results of my doing at least a mediocre to good job but in the beginning it was tough. Yes it is a TON of work but I find it so very rewarding and because my kids seem to really enjoy and are progressing well we are sticking with it.
One thing that is very difficult is measuring success in homeschooling. Sure we can take the same standardized tests etc but I really believe a successful education is much more than passing a test. It involves their character as well as their knowledge and understanding. My kids tend to work at their own pace and are often not anywhere near where their peers are in different subjects. Some subjects they are 2 grade levels above and some they may really struggle with. I imagine it is the same in public school and I know the teachers are faced with this difficult situation daily. It is something I take on willlingly and feel a deep responsibility about. There are not many parents who take on homeschooling without feeling the gravity of their decision. At least in my area I know this too be true a majority of the time.
I’m not sure how it works in the states but here every homeschooler must register with a school division and we have a teacher that monitors our educational plans and results. So there is accountability.
Lastly I’d say that as with buffet mormons, buffet schoolers would just really enjoy a vote of support first and questions later with a little less judgement along the way so we can move forward with confidence in our decisions.
This kind of reminds me of the saying, “never ask a barber if you need a haircut.” 
I’m not really sure a debate on home schooling vs public schooling is necessarily appropriate here – politically speaking. I am interested though in how the decision has affected your status within the LDS church. Of course, I am of the opinion that the LDS church should NOT HAVE and opinion on the matter of public education, don’t see how it is any of their business, but I feel that way about a lot of things the church talks about. I really don’t think the LDS church is openly opposed to it, and I have never really seen or heard of a policy. I think it is probably just mormons being mormons — making mountains out of molehills.
Yeah, a debate about it isn’t appropriate here. If we continue to discuss the topic, it needs to be focused on the overall mission of the site. That is possible with this topic, but it’s not easy. I know there is a strong home-schooling faction in the LDS Church, but I also know the vast majority don’t – and probably look at it much like the general consensus here. Interestingly, I think the divide probably is similar to many other things – separatism and “safety” vs. inclusion and acceptance of risk. It is really irnoic, however, that many of those I know who homeschool (“I will do it my way and take personal responsibility for the results.”) also are very conservative and don’t condone that same attitude when it comes to spiritual understanding and those who are heterodox.
Life, thy name is paradox.
Ray said, Quote:“It is really irnoic, however, that many of those I know who homeschool (“I will do it my way and take personal responsibility for the results.”) also are very conservative and don’t condone that same attitude when it comes to spiritual understanding and those who are heterodox.
Life, thy name is paradox.”
What an interesting observation and a true one in my experience. I’ll tell a quick story and then if this topic is out of scope then I’m fine with ending it. A couple of years ago a few moms and I wanted to start what is termed a co-op where a mother or two agree to teach a certain subject to a group of homeschoolers. I was nominated as President and as such was given the responsiblity to set the vision for the group. I wanted a multidenominational atmosphere where a student regardless of religious background could attend and feel safe when expressing their own faith, others wanted a more exclusive environment where the teacher could reference the Book of Mormon frequently and express their own faith without acknowledging that others might believe differently. It was also politically charged with very conservative libertarian views strongly expressed and I wanted a more neutral approach. I lost the battle and it really was one of the catalysts to my faith -crisis.
I hadn’t ever thought of it the way Ray describes but I think that you really could generalize that way even outside of the mormon faith.
canadiangirl wrote:A couple of years ago a few moms and I wanted to start what is termed a co-op where a mother or two agree to teach a certain subject to a group of homeschoolers. I was nominated as President and as such was given the responsiblity to set the vision for the group. I wanted a multidenominational atmosphere where a student regardless of religious background could attend and feel safe when expressing their own faith, others wanted a more exclusive environment where the teacher could reference the Book of Mormon frequently and express their own faith without acknowledging that others might believe differently. It was also politically charged with very conservative libertarian views strongly expressed and I wanted a more neutral approach. I lost the battle and it really was one of the catalysts to my faith -crisis.
Yeah, I can see this happening. Why would a home schooling TBM view home schooling any different than cultural mormonism society in general. What a tough position for you to be in.
I think the concept of parents getting together and coop education is a good idea. I’ve have not heard of this happening in the US much. Generally, when this idea is thrown around, it evolves into a “private” school rather than a “home” school, which is what appears may have happened in your case as well???? Private schools, though good intentioned, IMO, tend to limit intellectual and spiritual growth. Actually, I probably should keep my opinion about “private” schools to myself since the LDS church owns several of them.
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