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I know the subject comes up from time to time here and I know some of us see it as something less than a perfect system. (How’s that for diplomacy?) I don’t currently home teach and have not in several years, nor have I been assigned to. My current home teacher doesn’t make it here very often, I think only four times in the last two years. Do you home teach? Why or why not? If you thought it wasn’t a requirement (no guilt or stats to report), would you? Is there a better way to accomplish the purposes of home teaching?
My personal hangup with hometeaching depends entirely upon the desires of the teachee. If they respond to my offer to HT then great, I’ll give them the prescribed lesson, or an alternative as they desire. But I will not. push myself on them. My favorite class to teach is the investigators, because if they didn’t want to hear my lesson, they wouldn’t come and have at least some interest in learning something new. That’s more than I can say for the people in HP or SS class. I’ve been Home Teaching the past 2 years. I have 3 families & I like it. (so far) It’s interesting, the more you take on, the more they want to give you.
I’ve made it clear that 3 is my limit. Any more then that & it becomes a job for me.
2 of the families could be classified as inactive.
1 is a member of the bishopric (who I consider a good friend).
All 3 are very interesting people & like to talk. I like to listen.
To summarize, I wouldn’t leave my house if I didn’t have to. (Okay a little too much of a generalization there.) I am like Dash. I enjoy home teaching when the family I go to likes to have me come. I go in cycles about doing it generally. I am currently in a cycle where I do it, but, that is as much because the family I home teach basically brags that I come, so, yea, I would feel guilty for not going. That said, I like going to that family. Without knowing it, they have helped me with my FC in that they have shown and continue to show me that they can be happy in the church. (Sometimes, I don’t feel you can.) I personally believe the visit doesn’t matter, it is all about showing that they have someone they can come to for help if they need to. If you can get that without visiting, BONUS! Yes I HT. I was very glad the other day to give some advice to a sister’s son.
He’s had to move high school because of severe bullying. I was able to encourage him by telling him about my own experiences with bullying, how
I got through them, and also about how my mother helped dyslexic
children like himself to succeed. And about all the successful people
who have had dyslexia. He actually reads VERY well, I was genuinely
impressed! And told him so.
He was picked on, because he tried to stop them assaulting on a smaller boy. I think that’s honorable. But moving school I believe was the right option.
On another occasion I helped a widow through grieving.
On another I helped fit a tire for a sister.
But we have one sister who clearly wants no contact right now. She comes
and goes. And one more TBM sister (sorry!) who didn’t really want us
round.
My HT companion is excellent. Couldn’t ask for better. Without him, I’d
take a different view.
I think my aversion to home teaching is two-fold: First, I could care less if they came. It’s actually an imposition to schedule and welcome someone into my home, so I should really say I’d just prefer them not to come. This has always been the feeling I’ve had.
Second, I don’t like being told I’m not [fill in the blank] if I don’t go home teaching. “They really need you.” Maybe, I don’t know, but I’m sure I don’t need them…so I naturally don’t think it’s true they need me. I’m probably wrong but that’s the lens view HT from. The notion that I’m not a good member if I don’t home teach is another guilt trip that I’ve become immune to.
Yes, mostly because the people I currently visit need visitors. I have not been as good at it in the past, when I didn’t see such obvious need.
At its best it’s wonderful on both ends. When it’s forced, unwanted, or done in a uncaring manner it is destructive for one or both parties. It need not be. Do what you can. Don’t worry about weather or bit you can make arrangements to actually meet. If you earnestly try and can… Great… If not then no big deal. To try to control the uncontrollable circumstances in life is in exercise in anger, depression or anxiety to no good end. I do not look at myself as a teacher while home teaching. I look at myself as a student, a friend. Someone who’s job it is to listen if they have something to say or share and in turn help them in what ever way they want(never force help or attendance or any being it to HT is cancelled).
Sometimes they are doing good, other times they may ask for temporal, emotional, physical or spiritual help.
The key here is that they actively communicate it or accept your help and don’t feel obligated to so. And to openly communicate that with them. The worst home teaching is one done with a standees FP message shut gun style. Those tend to be the least helpful and often antagonizing to share a message that 90% of the time is completely irrelevant or unhelpful in that day and time and place to that person. Getting to know them and what help they want and need or accept is the key. Them helping or just listening and where appropriate leave a message that can help with their particular situation that is helpful and meaningful to them.
I believe that is the true greatness that HT can be. Often we feel obligated to teach those that don’t want to be taught or force a visit when one isn’t appreciated at the moment. Or deliver a message that isn’t wanted. It’s then that HT is destructive and not helpful. Don’t force it. Go with the natural flow of the relationship building between the 2 parties. If no relationship is building, don’t try to force it. Just let it happen or not naturally. It will be more rewarding and more positive in the end that way.
Anyway, that has been my experience.
I resigned from home teaching last month. I never liked it and as part of my approach to the church I only do what I like. I have no problem if home teachers want to come to my house but they rarely do. I think it is just another program that will be harder or maintain as more people leave.
One blessing of not attending your home ward is that your home ward leaders forget about you. I was never “released” as a home teacher but the Ward leadership never calls me for reports, and I’m not on any distribution lists. The new ward CAN’T give me a home teaching assignment. Due to church policy.
So, I WIN!
I never really liked it, but I was very faithful at it for 28 years. I see it as a difficult program to maintain that causes a lot of guilt and ill-spent hours by priesthood leaders to get going or improve.
In a way, I like being a “Mormon without a Ward” because it means the leaders’ hands are tied — by their own policies.
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