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I started blogging in Jan 2008, so nearly 10 years. I did so because I wanted to be able to express my true feelings about controversial aspects of church history, which you can’t do at church. My blogging has been a lifeline to me, and kept me sane. I have gotten to know many people in real life, and have many friends that I’ve never met, but maintain good friendships online. I attended the Greg Prince lecture last night and saw a few blogging friends. I get so energized at meeting like this, MHA, Sunstone, etc. that when I got home, I knew I had to do something to wind down before I could go to bed. It’s so wonderful to meet people who think similarly to you. I’ve often said MHA is much more interesting and energizing than General Conference. Seriously it energizes me. Over the years, I have been contacted through my blog: I’ve been given a few free books, and some movie tickets, which were greatly appreciated, and asked if I would consider writing a review. I raised my eyebrow a little bit when Deseret Book emailed me asking me to promote the movie “17 Miracles”, and a few books, including a Q&A session with Terryl Givens. This week I got an email from BYU Religious Studies asking about a new book coming out they are promoting in October. I raised my eyebrow when I saw the sender. BYU is reaching out to a heretic to promote a book? What is the world coming to? Is there more openness, or is it a trap?
I always wonder if the Strengthening the Church Members Committee are watching me, but I think I’m such small potatoes, I don’t really matter to them, and since I’m mostly anonymous on the internet, I’m left alone. Sometimes I wonder if these offers are a bit of a “honey bucket”, but it hasn’t seemed nefarious so far. (Of course you never know until it’s too late, but Deseret Book apparently has had my email for several years now, and so far, so good.) If I were more public like John Dehlin or Kate Kelly or Rock Waterman, things would probably be different.
I’ve had a few minor discussions with my bishops over the years, but I have been mostly left alone. Following one meeting in which a ward member complained about me complaining about Pres Benson’s politics (which I called wacky), the bishop actually just told me to stay a little quieter regarding Benson, and then asked if I would accept an important calling (that I still hold.) Some people have (erroneously) called me an anti-Mormon, and I’m sure they would be quite surprised how active I really am. I’ve had bouts of trying to speak up at church (after listening to people like Terryl Givens or Curt Bench that it’s ok to speak up in church), and I just don’t know how to be diplomatic enough I guess, so I stay relatively quiet at church (or try to pick my spots better.) Blogging lets me blow off steam. I don’t have to hold my tongue. It’s really a lifeline to me. I’d go crazy if I couldn’t blog.
I asked Greg Prince if he had ever been in trouble with church leaders. He said no, even though he said others (such as Lester Bush and Linda Newell) said things less nefarious than Greg. He didn’t know why–perhaps a little bit of leadership roulette.
It does leave me with the question, how anonymous are we all?
Back about 5 years ago when my faith crisis started, I was scared to death about being “outed”. So I covered my tracks reasonably well. Being in Cyber Security, I knew that phpBB wasn’t the most secure, so there was a chance that if the site was hacked that my email might get out. So I created a separate email (and even yet another separate email as a secondary email if I forgot my password on the 1st email). I kind of laugh at that now. I am keeping a bit anonymous for a bit longer. But I do know several people on this site and have even meet a few in person.
But I do blog in the bloggernacle under yet a different handle. I may keep that long-term. I too wander if the Strengthening the Church Members Committee has a file on my alias given a few blog posts I have written (and a few I have in draft right now). I could care less now. If they were to contact my SP/Bishop I would be honest with them. In fact I would ask them if they can answer the questions I put forward in my blog posts.
Anyone can figure out who I am with about 10 minutes of searching (perhaps less). I just figure that most people don’t care. I’m not high-profile in any way. I’ve thought about doing a programming blog and a semi-political YouTube channel, but it just hasn’t been a priority to me, plus I wouldn’t have much to say after the first couple of posts/videos. My best friend is the only person I’ve told IRL that I have been on this forum. He told me about some connections between the owner and some apostate group or something like that and warned me against apostasy. My current state of life is too complicated atm to let go of this place of support. Until I can cement a strong friend group IRL which knows of my state of faith, I can’t afford to leave this forum. Even then, I can’t imagine I will disappear entirely.
On the internet? I just took the opportunity to google my username… Good luck! There’s a couple of random accounts I don’t remember setting up, a couple of accounts I know aren’t mine, a link to the stay LDS website… and before you get off of page one on search results, the sites are in a foreign language. I’ve got several aliases, complete with unique addresses, phone numbers, birthdays, places of employment… and I don’t do facebook. But I DO have a couple of sites of my very own, if you know where to look. I don’t like marketers. I enjoy wasting their time. And I really don’t like scammers; so I send them to Western Union, using fake reciept documents, IDs, whatever it takes to make them want to scream. Sometimes I send them fun, non-replicating viruses, just to mess with them. But really, I like to have a pretty tight control over what I have access to, and who has access to me.
In person, pretty open about my beliefs (or lack thereof). I think it’s generally bad manners to talk down about another’s religion; it’s a deeply personal matter, and I refuse to argue about it. But if you ask, I’ll tell.
I never use my real name for public posts and usernames. Since I decided not to hold a TR, I’ve gotten more lax about the personal details I share about myself on LDS forums than in the past. These could easily be strung together by someone who knows me, I think, to determine who I am. I sometimes forget and use my real name in private messages to people I have grown to trust online. At first, such reveals were traumatic and I was scared. Now I’m far less concerned. My philosophy is this — as long as you don’t put the radar on yourself locally by spouting off too many doubt-ridden, anti-Mormon or apostate sounding comments, I think local people and leaders won’t bother to search for you. It’s when you start going head to head with the local establishment, or using your real name online that the Calvary suits up and hauls you in.
Now, I’m not saying I’m anti-Mormon or apostate in my attitudes and beliefs. Some traditional believers (actually, only one — a close friend) has called me that a few times, but he is very straight arrow and black and white, and yes, judgmental. In general, I’m supportive of people who want to be involved in the church, don’t really care too much about the historical and doctrinal problems, But do have my own ideas that run counter to church culture when it comes to volunteer leadership. But if I share the latter, I normally get all this support from attendees in the local meetings. So I’m not controversial enough for anyone to care to look me up online, in my view.
mormonheretic wrote:
BYU is reaching out to a heretic to promote a book? What is the world coming to? Is there more openness, or is it a trap?
I think it is just a nod that you’re a good dude, and respectable because of your words.
Perhaps identifying as “heretic” is an initial red flag for some, but upon further inspection, and in this day and age of blogging and social media, it is just not the strict “no-no” that perhaps it once was. In other words, there is more to a person than their handle, or their broad ideas.
I believe even more important than ideas and beliefs are the actions we use. When others see our actions are good, then spouses, family, friends, and church leaders can put things in context when they trust the person.
I think you have established social capital, MH, and a reputation that does not translate to a threat to the church…and so you are not in their cross-hairs, not sure you are small potatoes because people know of you, but you are not attacking the church or a threat.
The interesting hypothetical would be if you stumbled across a particularly divisive topic, and wrote about it in contrast to church statements and it got to the point the leaders ask you to stop. Then what would you do? Become more quiet because they ask you to (like Benson), or feel compelled to speak your mind and let the chips fall even if that meant discipline? Not sure…it’s hypothetical and rhetorical…no need to respond, but would be interesting to see how things may change in your journey.
Overall…I think these things can be successfully navigated with nuance and integrity and positive efforts to highest values.
For me, I have stayed mostly anonymous to all but my kids who have read some of my posts so they know what I think. My daughter at one time registered on this site, but never participated. During my divorce, it was helpful to have my posts here anonymous, as I had a uber-zealous bishop listening to lies from my ex-wife and snooping around website…and had the discussions with me about me being apostate. I navigated through it, but it helps in some of these situations to not have my full disclosure out there, just practically for me, it has helped.
I have come across people and friends that I know outside of the forum, and I PM them with more details of who I am, because I can trust some. But I just don’t know who is reading this site, and I don’t find it a problem to keep my identity hidden when the readership is hidden also.
Not very. You know those computer programs that teachers use to bust plagiarizers or even the programs they use to discover potential alternative sources for Book of Mormon authorship? All you have to do is be you in several different places and someone recognizes the “…” that nibbler can’t help but use all… the… time… and *poof* anonymity gone.
“Good luck, I’m behind 7 proxies” doesn’t help much in the information age. Stylometry. Computers are getting better at it all the time.
https://tech.slashdot.org/story/17/08/28/1725232/how-the-nsa-identified-satoshi-nakamoto ” class=”bbcode_url”> https://tech.slashdot.org/story/17/08/28/1725232/how-the-nsa-identified-satoshi-nakamoto So how anonymous are any of us. The real question is “How important are you?” If you are important enough you won’t have anonymity.
Luckily I don’t matter one tiny bit in my own ward, let alone the church as a whole.
MH- You are the man. So glad to see you starting conversations again over here. As for anonymity – Pretty much.
A few years ago I mouthed off more blatantly than was wise. Not that I minded getting caught (cause I did and there were some damaged relationships) but it was those relationships that caught my heart. I vacillate back and forth from week to week on my selected delivery. It makes church and callings really fun.
Like you I am in a calling I love and it doesn’t require foundational Mormon pieces. I cross my fingers and hope it lasts a few more years.
Not. 
I use my real name here and around the Bloggernacle. I feel like it keeps me honest. My bishop did specifically say that FMH is not an anti-Mormon website. (I asked because that’s what my husband always says about it.) I didn’t mention StayLDS. But let’s say I get called into the bishop’s office and asked, “Why are you posting on Stay LDS, which is a noted anti-Mormon website?” That’s when I widen my eyes real big and say, ” Why bishop, what were
youdoing on a site like that?” :angel: Just remember that StayLDS.ORG is an anti-Mormon site by a cyber-squatter. Hopefully nobody gets .COM confused with .ORG, but I know that has happened, especially at first. mormonheretic wrote:
Just remember that StayLDS.ORG is an anti-Mormon site by a cyber-squatter. Hopefully nobody gets .COM confused with .ORG, but I know that has happened, especially at first.
Wait, really?
All the years I’ve been on here my husband’s been insisting that StayLDS is an anti Mormon website designed to get people to leave the church. I thought he was being judgemental, but maybe he just went to the wrong site.
Joni wrote:
I use my real name here and around the Bloggernacle. I feel like it keeps me honest.My bishop did specifically say that FMH is not an anti-Mormon website. (I asked because that’s what my husband always says about it.) I didn’t mention StayLDS. But let’s say I get called into the bishop’s office and asked, “Why are you posting on Stay LDS, which is a noted anti-Mormon website?” That’s when I widen my eyes real big and say, ” Why bishop, what were
youdoing on a site like that?” :angel:
I’m not very tech savvy and so the most I’ve done is log in to this site at home and use a unique-to-this-forum user name and password. (My user name was selected pretty randomly). I don’t participate in any other forum and rarely comment on blogs or articles. No Facebook account. An inactive Twitter account. No presence on any social media site actually. That said, I suppose if someone was determined to find out who I was and had the requisite skills, they could. I rely primarily on the fact that my true identity would generally be of little interest to anyone. (I just reread what I typed….I sound really boring. :yawn: )Ultimately, I’m just a private person (some social anxiety issues, truth be told). If you knew me and observed me at church, you would probably assume that my beliefs are as TBM as everyone else’s. I attend. I’m polite. I don’t say much. Like a lot of men throughout the Church. I only express my views openly on this forum.
Thanks to Google, we’re a lot less anonymous than we were.
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