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Well I have been a member my entire life now. I am a 20 year old community college student. But I have noticed lately that I have had an issue with admitting to that I’m Mormon. Because I am afraid someone will make fun of or talk bad about the Mormon faith. It seems like it’s been ever since that whole thing went down with Prop 8 in California. So basically whenever someone finds out that I’m LDS they start talking bad stuff about it and such. And trust me, most people in my college courses end up finding out. Once they figure out that I don’t drink and do drugs, they connect the dots. I also get worried that if a professor or a future employer finds out that I’m LDS then they could give me an F in a college course, or I can get fired or not hired, just because of my religion. Now I want you to understand that I don’t go around announcing my religion. People just figure it out, and then they’ll ask. And I cannot lie about that.
So what would you recommend?
I used to feel the same way about being lds after i joined the church almost 3 yrs ago. I was going thru an interesting life transition, at the time i was living with extended family. I remember staying in my room to read my scriptures or anything church related for fear i would have to talk about what i was reading. I used to hurry out the door on Sundays when i was leaving for church, for fear i would have a confrontation with a family member. Since this is the first church i have ever belonged to, i felt awkward asking my employer for Sundays off right after i met the missionaries so i could go to church. I felt pressured from family, friends, and co workers. I was always afraid once someone would find out i was a Mormon that i would be forced to defend my new found faith or explain some doctrine that i would flub up on. I would learn my fears were unfounded. My family was interested in my new faith but they were not antagonistic about it. Sure my friends and co workers would roll their eyes when i would say i was going to church or explain i couldnt do something with them for various reasons…but i didnt suffer any lasting negative effects from it. Im sure your circumstances are different because of the controversey of Prop 8 and the emotions around it, but just remember who you are. I think the most important part of having faith, what ever it is, is that your comfortable with it. Dont be ashamed. Stay true to what you feel comfortable with and believe. Sometimes the biggest hurdle to overcome when you feel insecure about something is to realize that maybe everyone else isnt thinking about it as much as you are! :think: First of all, most professors and employers really try to be fair (and are legally bound to be) and most aren’t all that concerned about religion. I get the whole Prop 8 thing, but I think you’re doing too many “what ifs.” You don’t really say what your stance is on Prop 8, but there are many members, even ones who did support it at the time, who don’t support the idea of Prop 8, even some prominent ones. If you feel honest is sayng you don’t support Prop 8 after someone finds out you’re LDS, go ahead and say so. willb1993, Welcome. I suggest saying up front: I’m a Mormon, but don’t worry, I’m one of the Mormons that supports gay marriage (or didn’t support Prop 8, or however you want to say it). Or if they ask you about drinking say: I don’t drink. If they ask why, tell them it’s a spiritual commitment I’ve made with God, sort of like Lent, but all the time. If they ask if it’s because you are a Mormon, tell them: Well, I am a Mormon, but that’s not why I don’t drink.
Nobody but the worst kind of atheists is going to condemn a person’s
personalreligious convictions. They may condemn a Church’s positions, but much less likely to do so if they accept you as not being a sheep who lives your life a certain way because that is what the Church tells you to do. willb1993, welcome. I rarely tell anyone my religious affiliation. Not because I’m ashamed. In the midwest we are real minorities. There can be some strange ideas about what we believe & I prefer not address them.
When it comes to drinking alcohol, if the question comes up, I tell them I have an allergic reaction to it. (It’s not a lie.) I find a lot of people don’t drink. I hope to hear more from you.
On Own Now wrote:willb1993,
Welcome. I suggest saying up front: I’m a Mormon, but don’t worry, I’m one of the Mormons that supports gay marriage (or didn’t support Prop 8, or however you want to say it). Or if they ask you about drinking say: I don’t drink. If they ask why, tell them it’s a spiritual commitment I’ve made with God, sort of like Lent, but all the time. If they ask if it’s because you are a Mormon, tell them: Well, I am a Mormon, but that’s not why I don’t drink.
Nobody but the worst kind of atheists is going to condemn a person’s
personalreligious convictions. They may condemn a Church’s positions, but much less likely to do so if they accept you as not being a sheep who lives your life a certain way because that is what the Church tells you to do. I find this to be true. The vast majority of friends that are atheist or different religious who really know me, know my beliefs and values which are many times similar but completely independent of church and they know it.
Because I don’t correlate my values and beliefs to the areas in which they are different my friends know I am being authentic and they tell me so, even stick up for me by people who don’t know me.
I see that continually in friends of others faiths too. Priority number #1 for many is no matter what, be authentic. The chances that someone does and beliefs everything in a particular way to a institution will look fake to most people since the odds are very very small that it happens. Thus even outside of religion, in family or culture or national thinking it will be seen as inauthentic. I see it routinely, have had zero problems with LDS naming(everyone knows, I don’t hide it nor preach it).
However I share a vast majority of their concerns with Modus operandi of the church which is very similar to a lot of authoritarian institutions. They know I am authentic because I don’t reverse my ideology. I remain consistent to it no matter the church’s position. This is important in being authentic to people who want to associate around other authentic people no matter there beliefs(outside of to far at one end).
Mixed with atheists, ultra orthodox of various denominations and the vast majority of non denominational(self declared non-deniminational) spiritual people who have strong beliefs but do not like being beholden to others for those beliefs(read Generation Y).
With Mormonism it’s visible, because we make our success very visible in PR. We are not far removed from many evangelical church’s in Modus operandi. Atheists know it and are concerned with submissiveness to unquestioning authority and the damage it has caused more then they are concerned with a belief in god or what ever. And that’s their main gripe which is shared. Never the less the moral values that are portrayed are honored and commended by all my friends(anyone I would call a friend). That’s what really matters. Beliefs is secondary to good fruit and values and is something we all agree on no matter which circle of friends I talk to.
There are others that think some values are wack and I agree but the inner values for oneself and others(except for the in unhealthily sacrifice of oneself) are pretty universal among most I know.
I guess long story short– don’t worry about others May or may not think, concentrate on being the best most healthy you you can be. Of that means being LDS there is nothing to be ashamed of, be happy who you are.
Opinion are like butt holes, everyone has one in and outside of the church. Respect yourself and others. But don’t let anyone tell you who you are, only you have that right.
P.S. I know a ton of atheist or or non denominational people who don’t smoke or drink or do drugs. There are many and nothing to be ashamed of, seek them out.(not that there is anything inherently wrong with moderate drinking or smoking).
Mike wrote:willb1993, welcome.
I rarely tell anyone my religious affiliation. Not because I’m ashamed. In the midwest we are real minorities. There can be some strange ideas about what we believe & I prefer not address them.
When it comes to drinking alcohol, if the question comes up, I tell them I have an allergic reaction to it. (It’s not a lie.) I find a lot of people don’t drink. I hope to hear more from you.
Well thank you, Mike! That is very comforting advice. I found this forum, and it’s basically my last line of support; or it at least feels like it.I understand completely. I felt the same way myself. It does get better.
It is difficult at times. You might even be attacked by mormon who dont believe as you do. A good example is somebody in Utah that finds out you are a democrat. They look at you like you just killed a kitten.
:crazy: It boils down to it being their issues and not yours.
You won’t be fired or fail a test for your beliefs, assuming you aren’t an obnoxious prick about it. In that case, you might be fired for being an obnoxious prick. Work on building your own faith, not on what others believe.
Nobody cares about Mormons. Really. We’re barely a blip on the radar screen, less than 0.01% of the world population. The few people who have even heard of us barely know anything, and honestly don’t really care, except in passing curiosity. The only people who care about Mormons are other Mormons — currently active believers and currently active anti-believers, who I lump all into that single pile. It’s a lot of noise in a very very small room.
I know plenty of people who don’t drink alcohol, don’t do drugs, and don’t drink coffee who aren’t Mormon or even religious. A lady I work with doesn’t drink coffee. Why? She doesn’t like it
😆 Pretty normal answer, right? She doesn’t drink alcohol because she is a diabetic. She’s “nominally Catholic” (in her own words). I could give dozens of similar examples from people I know. It’s very common for people to say they don’t drink when they are recovered alcoholics (real alcoholics by clinical definition, not twisted Mormon cultural definitions). It’s like a code phrase, in a sense. Decent folks respect that boundary in social settings and stop offering it to them.If you are uncomfortable with something the church does publicly, it’s OK to tell people that. On the other hand, if you truly believe in something, it’s OK to share that with others (in the right context of conversation).
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