How do I

[Anonymous]

Kipper wrote:

dande48 wrote:

Quote:

“When I became an adult, when I opened my eyes and saw actuality, then I started to laugh and have never stopped laughing since that time… This I saw, and I laughed.”

Kipper wrote:

Everything makes me cringe and it shouldn’t. Everybody sounds so dramatic and far fetched. How do I get out of this state of mind. How do I stay in it and not express myself.

Laugh.

I can try that, I’m sure there will be some relief.

Trying to take a close honest look at myself in respect to the institution (as I see it). I see so many good men and women who listen to each other say so many good things, thank each other for their words and agree that these things are all inspired and good for everyone. I just don’t see it that way. I am so turned off that I have almost completely lost the spiritual feeling I used to have while at church and listening to conference. When I pray (rarely) is feels like I am talking to church leaders from an empty room. Really unfulfilling. I remember as a young teenager (I was very active) attending a weeknight service with a friend at his place of worship. We sat in a circle at the end and held hands while the leader prayed and it felt empty to me. Then he said “I think we have all felt the spirit here” and it just turned me off that he would assume that for me. Thing is, I feel exactly the same now at my own place of worship. This is why it’s so hard to be there, I just can’t find that neutral comfortable balance. People know it too. I can tell by how much closeness and fellowship I (don’t) receive in contrast to the past. There’s no concern or interest, it’s just like I’ve crossed some line and by default I’m on my own. I’m sure we all have our turning point and mine might not be the most hurtful but for me there is a clear and painful defining point when the demands of progressing and being an active “appointee” in this church took away from me the things that mattered most. Among those things taken away are traditions I spent years building up with my family and son and time spent together. The most agonizing times for me are when I hear we are about family first followed by someone telling me you’re son will see you honoring you priesthood and see your example while magnifying your calling. He’ll understand and want to follow your footsteps. They’ll top it off with their own personal examples. It kills me when we spend a week talking about maximizing god given potential and completing education after I was compelled to drop out of night school to finish my 5 year appointment serving as a YM leader. Squandered my last opportunity to set an example and earn my only degree while son was still young. Following that he went on his mission and things never were the same. I would be happy to go on but I’ll stuff it all back inside where it will continue to eat away until the end. In the meantime I’ll find ways and things to do that distract me and help me enjoy life. Thanks for allowing the overflow.

[Anonymous]

Roy wrote:

One strategy is to pretend that you are an Anthropologist studying the ritualistic patterns of a strange sub-culture.

That one never worked for me. I was already far too familiar with the tribe, in fact that was perhaps the hardest thing to deal with, I had reached a place where the tribe was too predictable. I like to be surprised. To each their own.

Kipper wrote:

Stake pres councillor during GD “…if I ask you to speak in sacrament your answer is to the Lord. He is asking not me. You can say yes or no to him of you want. Same with callings…”

😆 😆

Get up, give an unorthodox talk, if the SPC gives you any flack for the content of the talk, “God asked me to give a talk. God knew what I’d say. God was talking, not me. That was the message god wanted you to hear.” 😈

Or don’t give the talk and say, “You must be real fun at parties.” or “My answer to the lord is that the stake president counselor sure is full of himself.”

Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

nibbler wrote:

Roy wrote:

One strategy is to pretend that you are an Anthropologist studying the ritualistic patterns of a strange sub-culture.

That one never worked for me. I was already far too familiar with the tribe, in fact that was perhaps the hardest thing to deal with, I had reached a place where the tribe was too predictable. I like to be surprised. To each their own.

Kipper wrote:

Stake pres councillor during GD “…if I ask you to speak in sacrament your answer is to the Lord. He is asking not me. You can say yes or no to him of you want. Same with callings…”

😆 😆

Get up, give an unorthodox talk, if the SPC gives you any flack for the content of the talk, “God asked me to give a talk. God knew what I’d say. God was talking, not me. That was the message god wanted you to hear.” 😈

Or don’t give the talk and say, “You must be real fun at parties.” or “My answer to the lord is that the stake president counselor sure is full of himself.”

Sheesh.

:lolno: :silent:

[Anonymous]

I believe church is the place where you can practice your religion, among others doing the same. You can learn things about yourself and who you want to be by choosing in these circumstances, especially the ones that seem to bother you.

You have done a lot of thinking…and actually expressed things very, very well. This part struck me particularly:

Kipper wrote:

There’s no concern or interest, it’s just like I’ve crossed some line and by default I’m on my own. I’m sure we all have our turning point and mine might not be the most hurtful but for me there is a clear and painful defining point when the demands of progressing and being an active “appointee” in this church took away from me the things that mattered most. Among those things taken away are traditions I spent years building up with my family and son and time spent together. The most agonizing times for me are when I hear we are about family first followed by someone telling me you’re son will see you honoring you priesthood and see your example while magnifying your calling.

…I would be happy to go on but I’ll stuff it all back inside where it will continue to eat away until the end. In the meantime I’ll find ways and things to do that distract me and help me enjoy life. Thanks for allowing the overflow.

Those were some heart-felt words. Very poignant. Thanks for sharing.

There are some similar feelings I’ve wrestled with. You just said it better.

I had 3 thoughts come to me as I read through this thread:

1) Listen to others without the need to reconcile it to your views. If that is how someone in the stake wants to frame it…that is their thing. It either inspires you, or it doesn’t do squat and you just let them do their mormon thing because it makes them happy to say such things. Love them for who they are.

2) Embrace the message, by seeing how it supports your current views.

Quote:

“…if I ask you to speak in sacrament your answer is to the Lord. He is asking not me. You can say yes or no to him of you want. Same with callings…”

Yes!!! My answer to everyone else is as if I answer to the Lord. I should treat everyone in that light, and I would be a far better person for doing that. Of course, the Lord will understand when I say no…but I always do it respectfully. I have no problems being honest with the Lord who knows my heart. Embrace those teachings fully…to the point that I treat everyone else in a god-like way. I can benefit from this idea on my journey. (even if that is radically different than how the speaker intended…but if that speaks to my spirit…thank God for the message that inspires me to be more loving).

3) let go of the past. Perhaps those TBM thoughts meant something totally different to me before, maybe i would have felt inspired by them before, maybe I feel bored now or that these things are just dead to me now. Yes. All that shows progress and growth. You have grown beyond the things that used to be wonderful to you. Let go of wishing for the past…and focus on today and what you want today in your world. Let go of the past, embrace the present. It’s ok to realize it is not the same as it used to be. It would be wrong if it was the same your whole life. But take the things you yearn for now that you feel are missing…and go search for them wherever you find them.

Each Sunday as you find yourself reacting, or having no reaction, to others at church…realize those moments give you opportunities to practice your religion and what you truly want to have faith in, or what you choose to let go of, and find peace in your choices.

Own your religion, and your religious experience. It’s between you and god.

[Anonymous]

Heber13, There are some thoughts from you that really mean something. I relaxes me to know I need to think about these things and how to make myself fit where needed. This reminds me that you have provided replies in the past that I need to look at again. This time I did express myself a little more honestly than other times.

[Anonymous]

Kipper wrote:

This time I did express myself a little more honestly than other times.

:thumbup:

Thanks for doing so. I think that enriches this forum…good, honest discourse. We don’t have to try to only share positive stuff about the church. There is stuff that really bugs me sometimes too.

But we move forward, and find what works for us. I think…sometimes moving forward with honest criticism of the church and its leaders is healthy to help us feel like it isn’t “us misfit toys” that are the problem. Let’s call it like it is. There are problems at church, and how it makes us feel, and what others say.

There. I said it. That’s me being honest too.

Now we move forward, and look for ways to live our lives in a way that makes our choices meaningful, and our life filled with what we want and need. We cannot expect to find the good at church if we blind ourselves to the bad. It all goes together…opposition in all things.

Honesty, not fake plastic smiles, is admirable. Keep it up. Others need to hear and learn from your experience as they lurk and read here.

[Anonymous]

California is blazing with wildfires, one is fairly close to home. After a post on my FB page I got this reply “I think the earth is being cleansed. Very sad. 😢“

This make me nuts. It’s why I can’t be a church socialite.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Hellfire and brimstone. Some love it.

It doesn’t really make sense…but some like to make stories.

I guess fires do literally cleanse a forest, and seems to be a natural thing.

But…it has nothing to do with God or the people who get relocated by the destruction.

I guess it is your opportunity to practice religion and dealing with silly things others believe. It can be infuriating. especially when it propogates hate, which is too common nowadays in our nation.

[Anonymous]

Since when do we get what we deserve?

[Anonymous]

Kipper wrote:

This make me nuts. It’s why I can’t be a church socialite.

kipper, just to put it in context, this is hardly a Mormon thing.

The literary friends of the fictional Job assumed it was Job’s fault before God that so much befell him.

Christian Eschatology was a major theme that began with John the Baptist, who is said to have taught: “[One is coming after me whose] winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and will gather his wheat into the granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.”

Abraham Lincoln, in his second inaugural address pointed to the irony of two groups both praying to the same God for support against each other, along side the strong hint that the war itself was God’s punishment for slavery.

Bottom line, don’t let it make you nuts. You’re ascribing too much to a FB post to lay this burden at the feet of the Church. In my experience, though I do see this kind of thought process in the Church, it is pretty benign and not universal.

[Anonymous]

dande48 wrote:

Since when do we get what we deserve?

Not sure I understand this, meaning you deserve it?

[Anonymous]

Kipper wrote:

dande48 wrote:

Since when do we get what we deserve?

Not sure I understand this, meaning you deserve it?

Meaning no one really deserves anything.

[Author]

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