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I think about this saying from time to time: “Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get.”
How do you think this applies to our situation of faith?
I don’t know how it applies to “our situation”, but in “my situation” 
I was thinking today that some of my unhappiness stems from making compromises that don’t satisfy either myself or the other party. (Whether that party is my wife or church leaders or friends.)
I appreciate that quote. To me it speaks to gratitude and counting your blessings. The grass is always greener on the other side, when you learn to truly appreciate what YOU have – then life becomes wonderful! 
It’s very easy to pine for what you don’t have rather than to create something wonderful from what you do have. After all, fantasies aren’t subject to the harsh light of day since they only exist in our minds. If fantasy ever became reality it would cease to be fantastic. I didn’t want to provide the first answer so that others could chime in with their own interpretations. Here is what I was thinking about when I was reminded of this quote the other day. I think some of us, myself of course too, feel bad about ourselves in relationship to the Church. Prayers aren’t answered like we expected (if answered at all). The blessings don’t happen like we thought they should. I myself struggled with doing all the “checklist” items and feeling like my life was falling apart at times around me. How could that be? I was raised to believe that doing all the little things in Church would make it so that nothing bad would happen to me. If I paid my tithing, I would never have financial hardship right? Money would appear miraculously, right? If I prayed and read my scriptures, I would not be bothered with temptations. If I just did ALL the things the Church mentioned, my personal schedule would miraculously change to accomdate enough time for all those activities. The fact that it did not was a sign of my failure, my lack of spiritual success.
What about Church leaders, prophets even, not living up to our idealized expectations? That is crushing to a lot of us.
A theme running through all this is that we are guilty or crushed because we are not successfull — the Church let us down. We did not get what we wanted. That makes us a failure, the opposite of success.
Now take a look at the second part of the statement: “Happiness is wanting what you get.” We say in our Church that God made humankind that they might have joy. We aren’t supposed to be miserable, yet life is so hard. Heck, my life is easy compared to the lives of others out there in the world. Instead of being miserable about not getting the next thing on the horizon that I want, how about I learn to have happiness with what I have and what I get. It is a complete paradigm shift. How does that apply to our church and spiritual lives?
My prayer isn’t answered, do I find value and meaning through that experience?
Joseph Smith was not perfect. He did some things that are hard to understand. Do I try to take the value I can from what I get through JS? The same goes for any other central or local leader in the Church throughout history.
Life doesn’t work like we wish it did all the time. Do I bemoan my lack of success, or enjoy what I have? Do I focus on my failure and lack of success, or do I take enjoyment from the things that I do good, even though they might not be perfect?
These are the things I was thinking about when I posted that quote.
Yes, exactly. Good thoughts. Success in the Church is getting the experiences you want. Happiness in the Church is enjoying the experiences that you get.
I found this wonderful thread with thoughts from Brian. I am putting together thoughts about finding happiness in life, and hope the group can share thoughts with me on this subject.
Wayfarer sent me a scripture and quoted it as:
Quote:Psalms 118:24
This is the day which the Lord hath made; we [should] rejoice and be glad in it
I also like Brian’s comments where he suggests it is not trying to get what we want, but wanting what we get.
Is that realistic and possible we can just be happy with our here and now. Is it not better for us to be motivated to want to shoot for the dream or fantasy Hawkgrrrl described?
Thoughts on how you find happiness even if prayers aren’t answered, or unfortunate things happen to you, or your relationships are not strong and healthy?
I realize some things happen for a reason, perhaps a loved one gets sick and dies. All experiences can be for our good and learning, but how do we sustain happiness while going through it?
I’m glad you revived this thread Heber13. Yesterday, a facebook friend posted this:
“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from. ~ Seth Godin”
It hit me hard because we’ve been going through some very intense adversities in my family for the last several years and though I think we’ve done fairly well at finding meaning, finding happiness is an ongoing struggle. I know from experience that the best vacations depend less on where I am than on who I am. My attitude, my choices, my perspective all determine how I enjoy the time and space I inhabit.
Don’t get me wrong. When I’m reading in my beach chair, toes in the sand, warm breeze blowing, tide rushing up to wash over my sandy feet repeatedly, as my children laugh in the surf and the crashing waves and noisy gulls keep time with this soothing melody of Creation, I feel otherworldly.
But there are moments, when in the grey shadows of everyday, in the midst of struggle and strife, I think I hear the waters rushing and I almost taste the salty air. In that instance, I want to grab the sun and sand and shore and squeeze them against my body until they are absorbed into me and I fill with the light, beauty, grit, and raw creative power they contain. To be this holy, free, glorious, unfettered, and grateful every day… to find happiness even in the desert and joy far from the sea, that’s my quest.
mercyngrace wrote:I know from experience that the best vacations depend less on where I am than on who I am. My attitude, my choices, my perspective all determine how I enjoy the time and space I inhabit.
AMEN. Great thoughts. Thanks MNG.
Anyone else have thoughts or stories that exemplify sustaining happiness in this lone and dreary world?
I heard a couple quotes that I think bear on this: Quote:
“It’s better to have it, and not want it, than it is to want it and not have it”.
This implies that not having things is a source of angst…the traditional world view.
On the other hand, the movie “Conversations with God” had this quote that I really liked, paraphrased:
Quote:
Live life without the expectation of any specific result
What I like about this latter quote is that it’s all about acceptance. No expectations of others. No expectations of church leaders. No expectations that living the checklists of our religion will lead you to greater blessings or happiness. Just live your life. Serve people with no expectation of getting anything in return.
I think the latter quote produces more happiness.
For me, I think I’ve stopped expecting the high ideals that we preach in church to actually come to life in my Ward or Stake. My expectations have been far too high of other people, and of myself over the years. Strive for good things but let go of expecting others to be a certain way or do certain things if those expectations make you unhappy.
These are good thoughts, but I’m not ready to decide what they mean to me yet. I need to write them down and revisit them later. My life is nothing like I thought and dreamed it would be when I was younger. I don’t have what I wanted, and I’m a different person than I thought I’d be in many ways.
I’m happy – very happy.
That’s hard to do because so much of what we’re taught to do in church is to have faith for certain outcomes. I know. Unfortunately, those outcomes don’t always come to pass. Many are off in the future and will only be realized or ‘not realized” after death. I think the living life without expectations is a good path.
The only thing that makes it hard for me is reconciling goals with no expectations. It’s very hard to work hard — long hours, and sometimes money — for a certain goal, only to find it doesn’t come to pass. At that moment, it’s difficult to just shrug it off when you consider the mountain of effort and resources invested in trying to achieve that goal. Those moments take a lot of self-discipline to maintain happiness.
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