- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
SamBee wrote:
Most fall away without a song and dance. They’re pressed too hard, and drift away.
Do you mean as in expected to much of?
SamBee wrote:* People who love the gospel but not everything about the church. Some.
If I understand the above two statements correctly, they are related and these are my main issues. I would venture a guess that “expected too much of” would be at the top of disillusioned members keeping their distance. Or, could be just me.
In “Concern for the One”, Elder Wirthlin said one of the major groups that stops attending church is those who are “tired”. I think he was exactly right to phrase it that way, since it encompasses lots of things. From my perspective – there are on average 3-5 members in each ward who at any given time are struggling with this whole framework who are “revived” or “doubters” Mormons as Bro. Bushman puts it. A big question is who do you consider “us”. Inactive, less active, active but not believing, NOM, ex? I told my husband about two years ago that I no longer believe in the church, but I would remain active for the sake of family unity. My bishop is very aware of my feelings and he is supportive of our family, and I am grateful for that. I have spent about the last 10 years looking each Sunday for something that I can hang on to during church talks/lessons. Some common ground. I can usually find something that increases my faith or understanding. Sunday, about half way through GD, I looked around and realized that I had nothing to add, or take away from the lesson. I was not offended by the teacher (she is an excellent teacher and gives excellent lessons), but I realized how different my views are from the others in the room. I closed my book and picked up my phone to text my husband (he was home sick). I said “I love you, and I will always support you in your activity in the church. But I am done.”
DH wanted to know what had happened. Nothing. I just feel the loss of my spiritual self, and I am unable to have meaningful participation anymore.
Here is my point…other than my husband, the BP, SP and 3 close friends…..no one knows. How many of “us” are out there and why? For me it is doctrinal. I just do not believe the doctrine. I love the people (most of them anyway), I love much of the culture. In all the years I believed, I never let people offend me into inactivity. I have no problems setting boundaries, so I never got burned out.
It should be easy for me to walk away right? That’s what it looks like to people on the inside. Not at all. This has been my entire life, and it has changed. I left after SS and drove around trying not to cry. I held back the tears so my 13 year-old daughter would not ask questions when I went back to pick her up.
So however you define “us” they could be sitting right next to you, and you might never know it.
Out of Step -I was just thinking as I read a comment on another thread here, wouldn’t it be crazy to find out I was sitting in the same SS class with someone from this board and not know it. Week after week we sit there, process, experience and think we are alone. What if we are not? ‘ The past couple of months I’ve looked around my ward and noticed 2 families who still live in the area, but no longer attend. It makes me wonder. I used to assume the old reasons, now I think, maybe not. Because it’s like a leak in a balloon, no one says anything, they just drift away. If anyone pushes they pass off some standard excuses and soon, they are left alone.
This idea grew in my mind during testimony meeting this week, some one got up, a visitor, and explained that she had just returned to activity after 32 years out. After her scores of people got up and said her story was inspirational to them because they had family who had left the church. All of them were praying the family members would come back. I so desperately wanted to run up to the podium and say – there is so much to it. They aren’t just slacking off, it’s not a prayer only matter. (I do believe in prayer and the prayers others offer in our behalf) but there is more.
Anyway – good luck as you move onto the next step. I will keep you as my church buddy, even if we never meet. You don’t need to believe, we can just sit and be sisters together. Moms of great kids. Spouses to wonderful husbands. Best of all – we can be ourselves to each other.
We should all do something like wear pink socks one Sunday. This could seriously backfire when we approach someone who has the right socks on by co-incidence and start asking about when their faith crisis started.
Also, you would miss people. I know of 3 or 4 others in my ward. Having talked to them, none of them participate here. You just have to pay attention to the comments people make. Some will reveal themselves. 😯 Sent from my SGH-T889 using Tapatalk 2
Thanks mom3. I will think of you too. I think that this Sunday I will just wander down to the Nursery. Seems to me that all I ever need to know is in the Nursery manual. And I will wear pink socks … the kids will love them 
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.