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…especially when it is your bishop… I’ve posted before some things I dislike about my bishop, so much so that I can’t stand to look at him. (The feelings are pretty mutual, he avoids me)
There are any number of reasons but among them
-he has insinuated that my faith struggles (which he only knows a very small bit about) are because of worthiness issues
-he continued to text my daughters after repeated requests to stop (it looks like this is finally resolved)
-he gives his teenage son inappropriate levels of authority and access; (his son has 4 callings, he has access to the ward clerk’s computer, he has been left to conduct meetings that the Bishop should have conducted after which he referred to himself as the “Bishop-in-Training”)
-he “rejoiced” at Hurricane Sandy because it was a missionary opportunity (rejoiced was his word choice)
-he treats his wife as a subservient
I could go on, but long story short, he grates on me.
It really has gotten to the point that even in innocent interactions I tend to see the worst because of my frustration and dislike for him.
Usually I am very sympathetic toward bishops, they have such a difficult calling for which they are given so little training and compensation. However, I see in him someone that routinely seeks out positions of power and influence for himself and his family.
How can I get past these feelings for him and at least find a way to work with him?
So how can I develop a better attitude toward someone that I think is totally detestable.
Think of him as a lesson in patience and tolerance – and avoid him as much as possible. :ugeek: Remember that he will be released.
:clap: Be a humble, meek thorn in his side.
😈 If you stop attending church it only will solidify his view of you and your faith. Don’t give him that satisfaction.
I have had Bishops that were funamentally different than me….to the point I thought …um..poorly… of them….same goes for a previous stake president. In the end I get over it with a thought an old friend gave me “They are doing the job you won’t do”
This gives me more patience and tolerance.
Don’t know if this situation applies to you or not – but once I had a bishop who constantly told me how to do my calling. It drove me *crazy* and one day I told him to leave me alone or release me. He backed off and now we are actually friends. I think you’re doing the right things – just stay out of his way and leave him alone. Most bishops don’t want the job and are doing their best to keep their own family, job, and mental sanity together. His reign will end, and if it makes you feel better, chances are many in your ward also feel the same way as you.
Quote:If you stop attending church it only will solidify his view of you and your faith. Don’t give him that satisfaction.
That is a good point.
Unfortunately he was sustained a year ago, so I think he will be here a while.
Quote:Think of him as a lesson in patience and tolerance – and avoid him as much as possible.
Good idea.
patience and tolerance, patience and tolerance, ….
rebeccad, I totally get it. In my own experience, pray for charity fervently and pray for him. Reality is, some who are called into leadership really do end up with their heads turned, become prideful and that’s when we see “the reign” type experience going on. Pray for him that he will learn what he needs to learn. Pray for his family. Pray for him to develop more empathy and insight. Pray that the prideful factor won’t block the inspiration, thus summing people’s struggles up to lack of faith. Pray for him to become the best human being possible while he is bishop, thus he will be in a better position to help everyone. Pray that he will see he might be contributing to pride developing in his own son, which I am sure he would not really want. And pray for yourself, that God will help you to pray for these things with real sincerity and let go of the yuck factor. Pray to see him with God’s eyes, so that you can start noticing good things about him. Please keep attending church. It might be a long reign, that is true. Make sure you are still standing in your place at the end of it. Ultimately, it’s about helping yourself and your family progress through this life and helping others along the way as you can. One sign of a truly good leader is one who can show friendliness, warmth and love to everyone, even if he/she feels challenged by a particular person or just feels dislike. They should be praying for all of these things too, but I know from experience, some of them apparently do not even attempt. As I shared before what one priesthood leader told me, “Some leaders are here to lead us and some are here to try us.”
Please forgive me if I sound too preachy. I am just sharing out of my own heart and experiences. The calling of bishop is a hard one and because of that, everyone feels immediately protective of them. But reality is, some of them are in there to learn things themselves and when the pride factor hits, their own progression, in my opinion, ends up being affected in some ways. Reality also is, they are human just as the rest of us. They have to labor spiritually and repent, just as the rest of us. They can get in the way of the mantle bestowed upon them because of pride and that is always sad to me when I see it. When that happens, they can and do affect others under their watchcare in negative, sometimes hurting ways.
I would find a way to share the following info Marlin Jensen’s comments –
http://mormon-chronicles.blogspot.com/2012/01/rescue-plan-to-address-difficulties-of.html “often in the church, when someone comes with a bit of a prickly question, he’ll be met with a bishop who number one, doesn’t know the answer. Number two, he snaps and says, ‘Get in line and don’t question the prophet, and get back and do your home teaching.’ And that isn’t helpful in most cases. So, we need to educate our leaders better, I think, to be sympathetic and empathetic and to draw out of these people where they are coming from and what’s brought them to the point they are at. What they have read, what they are thinking is, and try to understand them. Sometimes that alone is enough to help someone through a hard time. But beyond that, I think we really need to figure out a way to live a little bit with people who may never get completely settled.”
I also welcome any opportunity to at least have a conversation with someone who does not understand faith crisis. We as a church need to grasp this awful painful agonizing dilema.
That is really a great article, best thing I have read in quite a while.
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