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I am in the process of updating the “How to Stay in the Church …” document we publish and host on our site. It is very popular, and at least 500-600 people a month still look it up at our site (server stats). I am adding a paragraph about the Word of Wisdom to the new edition. Here’s your chance to be a part of the creation process.
What would you recommend to someone who is questioning the Word of Wisdom as one part of the puzzle in the overall faith crisis experience? I can’t promise to include every suggestion, but I know you guys always have lots of great thoughts on every subject discussed here. Keep in mind, this is a VERY VERY sensitive topic both culturally and religiously within Mormonism. We want to encourage people to be responsible and make good decisions in spite of changing faith. We do not want people to lose faith in the idea, or cause more trauma and problems by encouraging others to break the WofW.
But I feel strongly about addressing the topic, in giving advice to other people who are questioning it, and also giving frank and “down to earth” perspectives. We have to “keep it real.”
So what do YOU tell someone who is having a faith crisis about the Word of Wisdom, someone you really care about and love, if they came to you and asked your opinion about it?
Good question. My first thought was to use a similar line of reasoning the article uses regarding the Church as a whole. Here is my intepretation — you may not agree with the Word of Wisdom or even it’s inspired roots. You may not buy into the concept that the Word of Wisdom should be followed out of sheer obedience. In fact, you may not even agree that it should be a requirement for holding a temple recommend. You may even have an addiction.
But recognize the benefts that come from avoiding alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea and harmful drugs on their own merits — independent of doctrine or even membership in your Church.
Reflect on the personal benefits that accrue to people who avoid substances that have the potential to be addictive, the drain on financial resources they can cause. And consider following the Word of Wisdom as an attempt to establish a precedent for those around you (like your children, grandchildren, brothers, sisteres or other relatives) who may have substance abuse tendencies that haven’t yet presented themselves. Or who otherwise might have negative experiences as they indulge in some of the items on the WoW list as teenagers or even adults.
People vary in their ability to handle life’s challenges, and many of the items on the WoW list have become coping mechanisms for people who struggle with self-control or the ability to find peace through spiritual means. Teenagers often run into difficulties with certain substances on the Word of Wisdom; view your abstinence of alcohol and even occasional use of drugs as ways of reducing the suffering of teenagers and others whose experimentation may well lead to unecessary suffering. You can align youself with the Word of Wisdom for reasons that go beyond obedience. And they can be YOUR reasons.
Also, recognize the limits on the strict interpretation of the Word of Wisdom. There is personal choice on whether you should drink cola drinks, for example.
Now, if you have an addiction to one of the substances of the WoW, recognize that involvement in the Church doesn’t exclude people with addiction problems. Spending time with people who abstain from these substances can be another support mechanism to help you overcome your addiction. Deciding to attend a Ward activity on a Friday evening, rather than attending a bar immediately lessens the temptation of indulge in alcohol or tobacco since none will be available. Also, recognize that overcoming personal weaknesses of any kind has its ups and downs. Be forgiving of yourself and continue to expose yourself to principles of clean living that will help you lengthen the periods of self-control, and reduce backsliding into your addiction. Don’t weaken those experiences that actually strengthen you — and associating with people who live the Word of Wisdom can only help you in the long run.
However, be careful to avoid showing signs of your addiction to Church members, who may not yet understand your personal challenges due to simple lack of experience. Make a conscious effort to remove evidence of your WoW tendencies before coming to Church meetings. This is NOT so you are pretending to be someone you are not, just to fit in, it’s a recognition that ALL organizations, both religions and non-religious, have certain norms that their members subscribe to. And people who openly disregard those norms are often met with surprise. Avoid the unpleasantness of seeming to disregard norms, o invoking surprise in others, and remove evidence of your use of items on the WoW such as the smell of tobacco or alcohol.
IMO… I think it should state very clearly that the WoW can be/has been interpreted differently by everyone in the church, including
apostles and prophets,and that it wasn’t until prohibition in the 1920’s that the WoW became a temple recommend question. And that originally, church members knew and understood that mild drink made of grain WAS BEER. Maybe just be honest about the history of the whole thing. The whole getting away from the culture of English snobs drinking and joke of “getting even with Emma” for complaining about the spit on the floor. It should also state that to argue that WoW is a literal code to ensure a healthy body is BOGUS and doesn’t hold water i.e. glass of wine/tea.
You may feel like you finally want to live by teachings such as Jesus’ saying “it isn’t what goes into the mouth that defiles a person”. But keep in mind the approach of the Apostle Paul. He understood that abstaining or eating any given food didn’t make him righteous or unrighteous, clean or unclean. But he continued to keep the standard of the Jews as long as he was among them. As long as you are in your home and your LDS community, keeping the modern LDS standards might be the enlightened and wise thing to do, just as accepting a cup of coffee or a drink of wine in another social setting might be. You may feel that your continued spiritual growth requires you to break your reliance on your perfect record of Word of Wisdom compliance. But remember: reliance is a matter of the heart. Consider whether you might just as likely end up relying on your having broken the Word of Wisdom as proof of your new enlightenment. That wouldn’t move you forward at all. Whatever you decide to do, let it move you forward and upward in charity and truth.
Excellent and very timely topic! Growing up in Utah, I found it was very easy to avoid WoW problems, simply because it wasn’t around. I also had some experiences growing up that reinforced why following the WoW was important, namely watching several of my friends and family getting into trouble with alcohol or drugs and seeing the resulting fallout. The funny thing is, since I’ve started traveling for work, I’ve noticed how much WoW observance makes me stand out. Almost without fail, when I show up at a client site on Monday morning, one of the first things they ask is if I want any coffee. I’ve tried several different approaches to declining without stating outright that it’s for religious reasons. Several of my clients, including the one I was onsite with last week, are in the heart of the bible belt, and I’m afraid if I divulge my religion they won’t take me seriously. I’ve also had several awkward mornings standing in Starbucks not doing anything while my co-workers and clients ordered coffee, as well as several happy hours and dinners at restaurants where being the designated driver was about the only thing mitigating the awkwardness.
To be fair, I’ve made some additional choices that only compound the social awkwardness. My bodybuilding lifestyle means six small meals per day with no desserts or any of the garbage they serve at ward potlucks. It’s one thing to have non-members pressuring you to drink, but to have members providing similar pressure to engage in other things I don’t want to do is rather amusing. The sad thing is that most TBMs don’t understand or appreciate the irony.
I think the advice I would give would depend on why the person asking for advice is struggling. Are they convinced that the church is absolutely false, and therefore nothing good could come from it? Or do they like the flavor of alcohol, nicotine, coffee or tea? Are they struggling with “gray” areas in the WoW like rum cake, mocha-flavored ice cream, or the caffeine content in chocolate? Or are they like me and tired of feeling awkward in social situations?
One thing I’ve learned that’s helped lessen the awkwardness is to hold a drink in my hand during social functions so that people don’t feel like I’m being left out and try to offer me something. Starbucks sells protein shakes, so if I know in advance that my co-workers are planning to head over there on our way to work, I’ll make the shake my breakfast so I don’t get too many calories. I’ve also found that holding orange juice in a champagne flute during happy hours and participating in toasts (even if I’m drinking ice water) helps me feel more a part of the group and lessens the awkwardness for others. That might irk uber-TBMs who are obsessed about avoiding the appearance of evil, but I’m guessing anybody who struggles with reasons to obey the WoW won’t be in that camp.
Of course, some people just won’t understand and won’t be placated. I had a boss once that gave one of my co-workers the impression he was going to hold me down and force me to drink coffee! He couldn’t understand that part of the WoW and after awhile it started getting on my nerves. Fortunately I didn’t work with him every day, and I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had.
. . . Personally, I would say to someone who is fresh in a faith crisis:
Quote:There are many good reasons to put off looking at what word of wisdom means to you personally, or at least reasons to wait before making any personal changes in lifestyle.
Meaning: until you find your footing again it’s wisest not to make any significant changes in your life. The recent podcast with the Gallaghers made a good point that “the minute I break the WoW I lose all credibility with my LDS friends.” Also, a faith crisis can be very troubling on a personal emotional level. The tendency to dive too deep into mood altering substances should be considered. For me, I like to do things because there are compelling logical reasons to. I find nothing logically compelling about testing potentially addictive substances at a time when I’m experiencing emotional turmoil.
That being said, as time progresses the other valid points in this thread could be discussed. I don’t like doing things because some authority figure says so. I would try to move the reason to some individual purpose, but hopefully keep the outlook essentially the same – at LEAST in the beginning to avoid rash and regrettable decisions.
I think on a very practical level, regardless of what someone doubts about the need for the WofW or its history, non-observance makes it very difficult to fit in at Church. Now … I personally make that decision not to be orthodox, but I have a hard time telling other people it is a great idea. It really makes things far more difficult. Also, I see this constantly brought up as a wedge between a married couple over at FacesEast (when one spouse changes practice and the other continues to be traditional). What a good idea! I really like what Tom said in his second paragraph. I would also include that just because someone is questioning their beliefs, to toss out the WoW entirely and go hog-wild isn’t a great idea, but maybe re-examining exactly whyyou might follow it. While I personally avoid the big 4, (black tea/coffee, booze & tobacco) I do so now because it’s what’s best for me. I don’t avoid them because I’ve been told to or because I have the belief that God will think I’m more righteous, which is why I did before. I’ll also second the point of losing credibility with LDS friends if they know you break the WoW as they interpret it.
Brian, I really like the idea of including this in the essay, it would probably fit right after the Tithing section, under “Warmly (but tactfully) embrace the title ‘buffet Mormon'”.
In going along with the ideas in that section of the essay, I would suggest remembering these points:
– People have often quibbled about specific standards (caffeinated soda, decaf coffee, etc). Remember to focus on the “spirit of the law”, and that even prophets like David O. McKay saw wisdom in focusing on the right things, and not “squeezing the fun out of life” by obsessing over minutia.
– There may be fewer reasons to break the Word of Wisdom than keeping it. Think through the pros and cons, including the impact on relationships with family and friends. Even if you start viewing the church differently, and you think you
“can”eat or drink these things formerly forbidden, that doesn’t mean you “should”when you think through all the real world repercussions of making that choice. – As a cafeteria mormon, if you choose this law is not for you, we still strongly encourage temperance in all things. Remember that society has multiple examples of the dark side of over-indulging (especially with addictive substances) and the ill effects on relationships and the family life.
– I think one should realize it is a part of Mormon culture, and makes some people feel “peculiar” or different from the world. But in reality, Mormonism isn’t the only religion that values keeping the body holy, that there are millions of people around the world of different cultures and religions that believe what you put into your body directly impacts one’s control of the body, spirit and mind.
– Remember that family or church members may view it very strictly, and don’t belittle their faith. Just like fasting is a good exercise to keep control over the physical body, others’ adherence to the Word of Wisdom can likewise be a positive reminder of “will over body”. Respect that in others and in yourself.
– With all the focus on today’s society to “eat right and get exercise” – it really is much easier today to abstain from all these things, even in work or social settings, and not feel you are the only person doing so. When asked, it is easy to respond to others with a focus on staying healthy and being on a diet, rather than needing to try to explain a religious or spiritual connection with this temporal law.
My suggestions… Don’t play down black tea, coffee, tobacco and alcohol.
Do mention the curious statements about tobacco for the stomach, meat in famine and not also the reference to “hot”, and wine of your own make. These are rarely taken into account.
Mention things which are not in the WoW but should be, like hard drugs or maybe taurine etc. Mention that many things can be addictive, and are not good in large quantities, e.g. chocolate, but that is left to the discretion of the reader.
Mention that David O. McKay regularly drank Coke, and also ate rum cake (what was it he said, that it was bad to drink alcohol, but it says nothing about eating it?!). There is no prescription on Coke, Dr Pepper etc, but it is probably wise not to have large amounts of caffiene anyway.
Mention that there are some decent alternatives. There are some nice fruit juices for fans of the grape, non-alcoholic beer (although I don’t recommend it), Caro is recommended by some as a coffee substitute (I don’t go for it) as is Dandelion. There are plenty of alternatives to black tea, and I would recommend Redbush/Rooibos tea, which makes a good subsitute.
I would include the statement from Pres. McKay about rum cake quoted in one of the threads here and something about how tea is treated within the LDS Church in various countries around the world (perhaps even referrencing the way that “non-alcoholic beer” and “mild barley drinks” are handled) – just to show that there is a lot of latitude for interpretation in some areas. There is an interesting thread on By Common Consent by Norbert entitled “Beer Drinking Mormons” that might be worth reading as you think of how to address this topic. (I recommend it for everyone, actually. It’s really is interesting from a socio-cultural standpoint.) The link is: http://bycommonconsent.com/2010/04/14/beer-drinking-mormons/ I can see, and even sympathize with where you’re coming from, Ray, but I think alcohol is a very difficult one. I think the rum cake quote is a good one, but if we say beer is alright, we might be taken as endorsing drunkenness. Non-alcoholic beer is okay, but I suppose “appearance of evil” blah blah. (As an aside, it tastes pretty foul too) I have to say it’s never been made entirely clear whether decaffeinated tea and coffee are alright or not. Oh, the devil is in the details, huh?! I tend to be a “big picture” sort, so I think it is clear that the WoW is intended for improving our health. Like so many other “revelations” given to the church prophets, I’m sure the “word of God” was received with a pre-conceived schema, paradigm, or notion of what was “good” and “bad” at the time — with what was known at the time. Thus the racist, bigoted teachings that came in the church’ history — that eventually changed…certainly the WoW can be considered similarly.
So, taking a step back, looking at where we are today, we can see so many differences than in previous times — even in the last 20 years! In medical science, we now know that excessive eating leads to obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, strokes, heart disease…all of which are obviously not “healthy.” This is so much more urgent than the petty little details of tea, coffee, wine, etc., that we really need to look at what steps should be taken to improve our overall health…and that really starts with just a commitment to good eating, exercise, and steps to good emotional health as well.
We spend so much time and energy in the church in the “what shouldn’t we do,” that we forget about the what SHOULD we do! To me that means we should take care of our bodies and souls with the current information we have…and do the best we can with the vast amounts of knowledge we have today. We didn’t get to the place we are today by ignoring the vast amounts of medical scientific breakthroughs that God has allowed us to attain.
Shouldn’t we thank him by using it?!
😮 SamBee wrote:I can see, and even sympathize with where you’re coming from, Ray, but I think alcohol is a very difficult one. I think the rum cake quote is a good one, but if we say beer is alright, we might be taken as endorsing drunkenness.
Not if it is done in moderation.
I know many many many people who consume alcohol and they are not “drunks” and they are not alcoholics. That’s the whole point of the WofW —- ALL THINGS IN MODERATION. I think mormons are a bit naive about alcohol in general (not you Sam
SamBee wrote:…(As an aside, it tastes pretty foul too)
Sure, non-alcoholic beer is disgusting. But beer in general? I think anyone who thinks beer “taste bad” needs to spend some time out here in the North West (the Beer Belt). Beer Brewing (Fermentation) is an ART. Just a side note, Oregon has more microbreweries per-capita than any state in the union as well as any European country. I’m not bragging
Oh yeah, since beer is getting discussed again. Try this quote on for size. Quote:Beer is proof that God loves man – Benjamin Franklin
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