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Touche’ I am in a bit of a unique position currently. Maybe I am getting away with something…but I’ve been known to really piss him off. I’ve learned to time my heterodoxy so it coincides better with his. Because he certainly has his moments as well.
If I had a dime for every time he’s said, “this is bullshit.” (Not doctrine so much but all the other “stuff.”)
I love Roy’s mom’s approach best.
Old-Timer wrote:observant, it’s a little easier sometimes to have slightly heterodox views and not face any threat of discipline if you’re sleeping with the Bishop.
Just sayin’.
That’s funny.
🙂 I have been on-again, off-again at different points in my life, usually due to events that happen at Church and not a faith crisis necessarily, although this last time a faith crisis component has entered my set of problems. For me, I want to be left alone. I want to be left to live the gospel as I see fit. I don’t want to be treated as if I’m less active. I still want to be invited to do service projects, and to be appreciated/respected simply FOR WHO I AM. I don’t want people to talk up to me and say “Long Time No See” or some other statement that says “Gee, are you EVER less active, what’s your problem?????”.
During on seven year period of less activity, many members treated me in ways that made me feel less active. You’d find out about stuff going on but you never heard about it, even though you were at Church most Sundays.
Also, there were a few things people did that I appreciated. I had a Bishop who checked in with me annually. After three years I finally told him what had set me off, and he was kind about it. However, he DID tell the Stake Presidency, who then broadcast that a person with [insert my specific issue here] would never go to the Celestial Kingdom. He did it in a Stake Priesthood meeting, looking directly at me, without naming my name. Not the Bishop’s fault, but the fault of the SP for being so judgmental. That hurt my trust with my Bishop for a while although I realize now it was just the hard-nosed attitude of the SP member that was the root of it.
So, don’t get all judgmental on the person. Don’t tell him ‘he should know better” as one person said to me. Don’t treat him/her like an outcast. Don’t remind him about his “priesthood responsibilities”. If they have been steeped in Church doctrine they will know all the covenants and supposed consequences.
And don’t be afraid to ask them to do things that are consistent with their passions and don’t require them to confront their faith crisis. A couple leaders did a couple really good things for me. First, they asked me to teach a lesson on Love at Home. I’m big on parenting, and I’m a good teacher. So, I did this without hesitation. Later, they called me to be a teacher improvement coordinator. I liked that and did it well as well. Those positions didn’t force me to confront any of the issues that were bothering me, I just had to support people in teaching techniques and principles. They also put on a talent show, and since I’m a musician, I participated in that. In fact, I participated in almost all the social activities. I made a few friends and we had them over for dinner.
Also, let them vent in private and listen if you have that level of trust with them. Try to be supportive while maintaining your own faith at the same time. Old-Timer walks that line on this site, so if you read his posts you might get an idea of what I’m talking about.
And if you want to delve into the Fowler philosophy (the Stages of Faith on the home page or readings area of this site), you can help the person look at the gospel differently — more symbolically than literally, for reasons that you don’t hear at Church. If the person is an intellectual, they might respond to this way of thinking. I know I have.
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