HPG Lesson on Sunday

[Anonymous]

I have been asked to teach the lesson in HPG on Sunday in my new ward.

The topic is Chapter 4 in the ETB manual: “Living Joyfully in Troubled Times”.

I am going to start with a disclaimer about how difficult lessons like this can be for members who struggle with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc. I also am going to mention that, as a history teacher by profession and social scientist by nature, I am well aware that nearly all people throughout history have seen their times as uniquely troubling, “the world” as exceptionally wicked and their own kids (generally) as the best generation ever born – so I won’t be focusing on any of those ideas.

For the heart of the lesson, what would you suggest I do?

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

I have been asked to teach the lesson in HPG on Sunday in my new ward.

The topic is Chapter 4 in the ETB manual: “Living Joyfully in Troubled Times”.

I am going to start with a disclaimer about how difficult lessons like this can be for members who struggle with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc. I also am going to mention that, as a history teacher by profession and social scientist by nature, I am well aware that nearly all people throughout history have seen their times as uniquely troubling, “the world” as exceptionally wicked and their own kids (generally) as the best generation ever born – so I won’t be focusing on any of those ideas.

For the heart of the lesson, what would you suggest I do?

I have only listened to the previous lesson on this blog, but there is this http://www.exploringsainthood.org/050-ezra-taft-benson-manual-lesson-04/” class=”bbcode_url”>http://www.exploringsainthood.org/050-ezra-taft-benson-manual-lesson-04/

I also liked http://bycommonconsent.com/2014/10/15/the-handbasket-is-empty/” class=”bbcode_url”>http://bycommonconsent.com/2014/10/15/the-handbasket-is-empty/ At least where I live (in the southern US) my coworkers and neighbors are generally good Christian folks and seem to be much more OK with Mormons as long as we are not pushing our religion on them. I have a hard time seeing that the world is getting worse. It actually makes me feel like some church leaders are trying to scare people about the rest of the world and “listen just to what we have to say.” Now I do realize I am very blessed and I live in a nice area. Statistics tell me this. I keep hearing that 50% of children born out of wedlock. In the last 10 years I can’t think of anybody I know or anybody I am aware of at my kids high school have had a baby out of wedlock. I can see signs of a few (the High School has a build-in preschool). But I look at the 50% and say, “Dang – there must be some other areas where it is approaching 100% to make an average of 50%.

[Anonymous]

I’m teaching the same lesson, Ray. It would be good to compare notes as I prepare.

I may look for quotes from Victor Frankl, and make some comments around the idea that it is helpful to have hope and choose to look forward with hope. What struck me as I read through the lesson material was that many quotes from ETB, after WWII and farmers and such, seemed to suggest it was the “church” that helps people through troubled times.

I can show that Frankl, and many others, also were faithful and positive and full of hope in troubled times. I guess, somehow I will try to balance out the Benson book’s unrealistic suggestion (intended or not) that it is Mormonism that helps people get through hard times, and the rest of the world is screwed. Because they are not. There are as many examples outside of mormonism of people of faith and hope that are inspirations on finding joy during troubling times. Mormonism is our tribe’s version of what many others are also doing in the world. Goodness and truth is goodness and truth, no matter where you find it. (I’ll probably not be making those comments, but I’ll be thinking it and wondering how to suggest it without stating it). By bringing in quotes and stories from outside of mormonism to confirm the points made by Benson, it should temper a completely mormon-centric teaching message.

I’ll probably use this Maori proverb I often use:

Quote:

Maori proverb: “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”

The bad things fall behind us when we look ahead to goodness, call that Christ, or the gospel, or positive thinking, or goodness…whatever…look ahead with hope, not stuck focusing on the obstacles all around us. (Obviously reworded to be recieved the best from the HP group.)

I also plan to mention as you do, the fact that some depression is real for people. I don’t want people leaving the lesson thinking those who struggle during troubled times just need to stop feeling bad about themselves and move on already. No…mental illness or depression make it so that some can’t make it through without some help, not judgmental help as if they deserve it, but true christ-like love, and in fact, helping others during our troubled times helps take our focus off our own troubles. On my mission, in Oakland 1989, the San Francisco earthquake created real problems, and I was amazed at how people rally around a real crisis to lift each other up and help. That is important. Because some things are too troubling to handle all by ourselves. But if we do our part, and then work together, we can find joy in troubled times.

I’m looking for more stories or points to make in my lesson. Glad you started this thread.

[Anonymous]

I would actually like it if we shared some of our lesson outlines and such for these. I know I will teach a few times this year. We probably will get to where we are off by a week or two.

I am teaching in a few weeks, but I may be given “what ever you want to talk about”, but I can’t REALLY do that or it would be the last time I am asked.

[Anonymous]

Thread Jack –

Heber wrote

Quote:

On my mission, in Oakland 1989, the San Francisco earthquake created real problems, and I was amazed at how people rally around a real crisis to lift each other up and help. That is important. Because some things are too troubling to handle all by ourselves. But if we do our part, and then work together, we can find joy in troubled times.

I was a very pregnant,about to become a first time Mom during the remarkable quake. Living smack dab in Silicon Valley. Yes everyone pitched in.

Back to Topic – 9/11 is also a fantastic example of everyone pitching in. Mother Teresa and her work with impoverished in India, eventually world wide.

I also like the scripture that references “rain and sun on the good and the evil.” And the story of Job. Not all the good guys skate through.

Last of all parable of Good Samaritan.

Returning to Thread Jack – Glad to be in close proximity again. Ain’t the internet great! 🙂

[Anonymous]

After the disclaimers, I probably will begin with a quote from “Only the Good Die Young” (Billy Joel):

Quote:

“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun.”

I then will use a few quotes from the manual to talk about how to make that quote inaccurate in our lives, both individually and as a group and congregation.

[Anonymous]

I would consider describing Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism model of ABCDE.

It helps people view situations differently, particularly situations where there are triggers that might prompt inner weariness.

Adversity: Something bad happens

Belief: You consciously acknowledge what you are believing about the future as a result.

C: Consequence — you acknowledge how it makes you feel anxious, unhappy, worried.

Disupute the belief you have imposed on yourself

E: Energize — you go forward planning what you will do now that you have disputed the upsetting thoughts.

You could also talk about the three P’s of despair, and how to use them to view adversity positively.

Permanence: Optimistic people believe bad events to be more temporary than permanent and bounce back quickly from failure, whereas others may take longer periods to recover or may never recover. They also believe good things happen for reasons that are permanent, rather than seeing the transient nature of positive events. Optimists point to specific temporary causes for negative events; pessimists point to permanent causes.

Pervasiveness: Optimistic people compartmentalize helplessness, whereas pessimistic people assume that failure in one area of life means failure in life as a whole. Optimistic people also allow good events to brighten every area of their lives rather than just the particular area in which the event occurred.

Personalization: Optimists blame bad events on causes outside of themselves, whereas pessimists blame themselves for events that occur. Optimists are therefore generally more confident. Optimists also quickly internalize positive events while pessimists externalize them.

Encourage the class to consider a adversity someone might experience, that everyone can relate to. And then discuss, as a class, why it is no personal, not permanent, and not pervasive. Expand the discuss to talk about how knowledge of the gospel encourages hope. Comment on how knowledge of gospel principles makes any adversity temporary (the eternal soul), not pervasive [you are smart, Ray, you can come up with something], and not personal (atonement could work here, separating what you did from yourself as you repent).

Good luck, even if you don’t take my suggestions

Here is a wikipedia link to Learned Optimism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism

[Anonymous]

Thanks, everyone.

Being brand new to the ward, I think I will go kind of vanilla tomorrow – but I will have your suggestions in my pocket.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Being brand new to the ward, I think I will go kind of vanilla tomorrow

Knock’em dead. And snickerdoodles are great.

[Anonymous]

I was happy to receive multiple compliments on my lesson in HPG on Pres Benson’s Chapter 4 topic “Living Joyfully in Troubled Times”

I think I achieved what I set out to, by making these specific points:

– Depression is not the opposite of faith. Depression is sometimes a state that others cannot pull themselves out of without clinical and professional help, despite faith.

– Not only mormons with the gospel seek to be cheerful despite dire circumstances. Viktor Frankl, for one, was remarkable in his situation.

– Life is not just about enduring and hoping for a better afterlife, it is about having joy in the here and now.

– Having the inner peace can help us be more compassionate to others, not dismissive. Others that are struggling don’t need to be told….just get over it or pray harder.

– Out of all the quotes by the Prophet Benson, the quotes that were repeated the most and referred back in comments by class members (and after class) were:

Quote:

“Pleasure is always derived from something outside of you, whereas JOY arises from within”

– Eckhart Tolle

Quote:

“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstance.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

Quote:

Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue…

In the long run, success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.”

– Viktor Frankl

….all quotes from Non-Mormons.

We also had a wonderful discussion from one member of the group whose brother is depressed and angry at the world, and doesn’t believe the church anymore because of the problems he has had. He asked others in the class how to approach someone that is in so much pain, they don’t want to be preached to. The class response boiled down to….love them, and validate their feelings, don’t try to change them. When they are ready, they will remember those who loved them, and will come ask questions when they are ready with their hearts open to hear about the gospel, not before.

I thought it was a great discussion.

I think many in my ward really “get it”.

The HPG Leader after class shook my hand and said, “you stretched their minds today.” That was one of the best compliments.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing!

Those quotes sound very much like some of the Stoic Philosophy I have been reading lately, wish I could have been there.

[Anonymous]

Wow – that sounds like a great lesson and a great response.

I have been thinking about your comment on, “Life is not just about enduring and hoping for a better afterlife, it is about having joy in the here and now.” It made me wonder if in the Mormon community if we are a little bit less likely to reach out and get help from outside the church (therapist, etc.) and feel pride in just enduring with a smile our situation always feeling that the REAL reward is in the afterlife.

[Anonymous]

LookingHard wrote:

I have been thinking about your comment on, “Life is not just about enduring and hoping for a better afterlife, it is about having joy in the here and now.” It made me wonder if in the Mormon community if we are a little bit less likely to reach out and get help from outside the church (therapist, etc.) and feel pride in just enduring with a smile our situation always feeling that the REAL reward is in the afterlife.

Yes…our class talked about that for several minutes. I do think there is a mentality of feeling the Lord will help “after all we can do” and as mormons, we place a lot of emphasis on enduring and working at it ourselves, quietly. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing to be independent and hard working, but there is a point where a person should accept limits and know when help is needed outside of prayer and home teaching.

I think it leads to unhealthy mental conditions if we suppress or paint a smile on our faces for too long without getting help to address the root causes.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad Heber’s went well – Ray — how did yours go — where you able to stick with a vanilla lesson? Or were there opportunities to be Ray?

[Anonymous]

This week has been and will continue to be hectic. I will try to post a summary on Saturday.

[Author]

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