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The title almost seems to match a different post but think about it. Read thru some of your old postings sometimes if, like me you have had lingering, nagging questions about the church and your direction. You’ll see a person who has progressed thru their FC and is probably in a different place now. I felt kinda like a third party looking at myself and realized some of my extreme depression has subsided, not permanently or fully but I am surely in a different place now, not close to the end but having a better perspective, and this is because most of the time I feel enlightened rather than confused or guilty. This partial post below made me think… “…I am at the toughest time ever, or most enlightened time ever depending on how you look at it as far as my church commitment goes. This at a time when my son’s and DW faith and commitment is at the highest ever. “I’d like to share an analogy, when I was in my twenty’s I was talking to a friend who worked on movie sets. We were talking about specific movies and scenes that were moving and inspirational and he said he used to feel that way too but once he saw all that was going on behind the scenes, the lights, camera angles showing only certain parts of sets, the choreographed movements and rehearsed scripts, the discussions in-between takes…whenever he sees a movie now he pictures all that as well. It doesn’t change the movie plot, artwork, meaning or hard work, it can still make me laugh or cry but it does bring you out of a trance.
I feel similar toward the church now. The gospel is the core and I have a testimony otherwise I wouldn’t be there (the social aspect does not much for me) but I see so much more than before that I don’t have to wonder about because I am smarter now. Lot’s of it, most of it, due to visiting this site.
I have to say it is tough to be surrounded by those who willfully follow without question and successfully boost their own status thru it. Very tough. But as I said to my bishop in a recent email exchange about giving me callings that blew my schooling and preparation for soon to be retirement out of the water “This has been a learning experience I won’t repeat.”
Thanks Kipper – I hope your zen place lasts a long time. I marvel at the people who arrive at that state. I have days where I am there, but then some storm blows past and I drop back to reactive stage 4. I should go back and read my posts and see the difference. Great advice. Here’s to many more years of Zen. Kipper wrote:I’d like to share an analogy, when I was in my twenty’s I was talking to a friend who worked on movie sets. We were talking about specific movies and scenes that were moving and inspirational and he said he used to feel that way too but once he saw all that was going on behind the scenes, the lights, camera angles showing only certain parts of sets, the choreographed movements and rehearsed scripts, the discussions in-between takes…whenever he sees a movie now he pictures all that as well. It doesn’t change the movie plot, artwork, meaning or hard work, it can still make me laugh or cry but it does bring you out of a trance.
I feel similar toward the church now. The gospel is the core and I have a testimony otherwise I wouldn’t be there (the social aspect does not much for me) but I see so much more than before that I don’t have to wonder about because I am smarter now. Lot’s of it, most of it, due to visiting this site.
I really enjoyed your post. I had an experience similar to your friend’s in the temple. It’s never been quite the same since. But it seems kind of fitting for it to have happened in a scripted event where Eve suddenly sees clearly, and I could imagine early saints performing in costumes and potted plants around to create the scene.Sounds like progress, Kipper. Thanks for sharing.
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