- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
after walking out of relief society last week–I have already called a sub to play the piano for me—I don’t know that I want to go today. This ward has already driven my husband into semi-inactivity because they have handled things so poorly—I’m reaching the point that I don’t want to go either. i feel like my family is going to be destroyed if we don’t get out of this ward and this stake—-I’m starting to feel desperate about it. I really don’t like feeling this way. I remember when I was married to a non-member and i had been inactive for several years and desperately wanting the church back in my life. I can remember sobbing on my bed and thinking that this must be what hell was like. I wanted to be active again and raise my familyh in the church. Now, my kids listen to me complain about how frustrated I am with the church–and it is definitely with the church, not the gospel—-I just can’t seem to untangle the two.
i can totally relate. at some level, we can allow our feelings, triggered by the stupid things people do and say, to impede us from enjoynig what we might. but then, i realize that i say and do stupid things–church is made up of imperfect beings trying to sort out the divine nature we all share. i think our being in the Middle forces us to make a choice: are we going to let the pettiness and speculative arrogance — all the crazy things people say and do — are we going to make a positive contribution, or are we going to submit to the dark side?
For whatever reason, we here have decided to stay LDS… rather than dreading it, we need to fundamentally adopt a different point of view if we are to survive. we cannot return to truly blind belief, sure, so i just tucking away all our doubt and disbelief is not an option. we therefore come to vent, and yes, we need to totally vent every aspect of our frustration. those who come here and argue against our disbelief do not validate what we have come to know to be false or suspect — that is irritating to me.
but once we vent, then what? We complain about the church, but there is fundamental problem: the very premise of theism is flawed. A loving god could not have allowed the Holocaust. A 15 year old Elie Wiesel witnessed three rabbis in Auschwitz put God on trial. this isn’t an apocryphal story — recently Wiesel confirmed the events– and after pronouncing God as being guilty of crimes against humanity…there was a period of eternal silence, after which the chief judge/rabbi looked up, seeing the sun had set, said it was time for evening prayers.
our church is nowhere as bad as the situation in which these rabbis found themselves — yet it was faith that gave them hope. not faith in a god that would rescue and bless them, but rather, faith that their prayers meant something — and they did. to these rabbis, the god thst would bless and protect them died in the hanging of saintly children in Auschwitz. When we let this naive gid die, then we come to a more tangible understanding of our own responsibikities as gods. we are here to bless one another, to serve…and in having this understanding, we must move beyond our frustrations that our fellow saints don’t get it — because we don’t often get it either.
Thank you Wayfarer. Your words touched me. If you are that upset, then yes. It’s probably better to take a break and not be there. **BUT** use that time productively to examine and contemplate your feelings and your spirituality. Walking away rarely solves the underlying problems. It gives you a chance to cool off and think more clearly. It also keeps you from saying or doing things you will regret later (like disrupting class, etc.). It doesn’t resolve the problem though. What is the root of the problem?
Brian–I guess the root of the problem on that particular day has to do with the fact that i am on so many medications—and I would rather not be—I would like to be well and whole—and I hate it when people get freaked out about WHAT medications i am taking. On the day i walked out, I felt like the teacher was talking about something she had no experience with, and when i told her that I take these medications and that I had also researched them, i felt like she did not even acknowledge what I knew from experience and research—and went on to talk about the dangers of them—which are very misunderstood. A funny thing
I did go to church, but my legs were aching so bad, anyway, that I was sitting on the foyer couch with my legs up. The teacher for that days lesson, who has told me she likes my comments, came by and asked if I was coming to class—she told me I needed to come and make comments during her lesson!!LOL!! The bishop had earlier in the week told me to sit on my hands during RS—I guess he was suggesting i don’t make comments?Most people who don’t take extensive medications have no clue about the actual need for them in many cases. They don’t need the meds, so they assume they are some sort of crutch. They don’t realize how critical and necessary they are for many people. It’s not maliciousness; it’s simple ignorance.Some can change their understanding, especially as they get to know more and more people who need medications; some simply can’t see what they can’t experience personally. Understanding that difference in ability can be the beginning of charity on your part, even as gently helping them see the error of their assumptions can be the beginning of charity for them. My mother is schizophrenic, and one of my sons is diabetic. There is NO difference in their need for medication; it’s just the specific medication and the general understanding of their circumstances that is different. The same is true of depression, bi-polar disorder, PTSD, social anxiety, and so many other conditions. When medication is necessary (temporarily or chronically), it is necessary. Period.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.