I gave my talk

[Anonymous]

🙂 I wanted to report that I gave my talk last Sunday and it was a good experience for me and I believe for the audience as well. I was so nervous about it but what really helped me was first sticking to aspects of the gospel that I do believe and second I was very well prepared. So I knew exactly what I was going to say (but I didn’t read the talk). I’m glad that I said yes to this assignment. I was honest in everything I said and I think people could feel that. I also want to express my thank you for this site. I am starting to feel more comfortable posting. I read things on here for years before I gained the courage to register. And then a little longer to actually say anything. I think that I was afraid because in doing so I would be admitting to myself that I don’t believe like I once did. It’s hard because you think to yourself am I just rationalizing because I don’t want to do things? Am I being deceived? There is some guilt and a sense of loss. And to make matters worse I can’t talk to family or friends about any of it. That’s why I think I’ve found a good place here. And I will say I am feeling more peaceful with this new faith transition. Giving that talk taught me I can be a light for others and still be true to myself.

[Anonymous]

That is wonderful to read. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Anonymous]

I know how nerve-racking giving a talk can be, especially when living in a new perspective.

Well done.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for letting us know. I was curious. I’m glad it was a good experience for you. It has been my experience that people sense my honesty when giving talks as well, and I think that’s important. Even “regular” members tire of the parrots.

[Anonymous]

catlady wrote:

I think that I was afraid because in doing so I would be admitting to myself that I don’t believe like I once did. It’s hard because you think to yourself am I just rationalizing because I don’t want to do things? Am I being deceived? There is some guilt and a sense of loss. And to make matters worse I can’t talk to family or friends about any of it. That’s why I think I’ve found a good place here. And I will say I am feeling more peaceful with this new faith transition.

I can relate to this a lot. From Primary, we are subconsciously taught that faith/education/experiences are “line upon line” or “one grade level at a time” with doubts as “erasing lines” or “repeating grades” essentially. Most learning is presumed to be “adding more” – and only the “refiner’s fire” takes a way the “obviously bad” things we have learned (of which the faith transition is usually the prime example and boogeyman).

The older I get, the more I think that “learning” is more like packing for trip with multiple travel modes (airport/ferry/truck for example) adventure.

You always overpack for the first leg of a journey – and forget something important (always). We stuff the heads of our kids with tons of knowledge we know they won’t use in the hopes that something sticks and that they retain a sense of “how things work”. For example, my teenager never managed to fully master her multiplication tables. I had a choice to make this a priority (the school would like me to for their agenda) or not make it a priority because the odds of her not having access to a calculator that can do it for her, or the process of doing the calculation herself if she needs the multiplication answer herself is something she can do if she actually needs that answer. I took a connection hit from school teachers and members of the previous generation because I have not made it as high a priority as they have.

Once you have that travel mode figured out, it’s time to switch travel modes, so you switch up your gear again with the same problem of having what what you don’t need and needing what you don’t have. I am experiencing this again as my daughter gets fully engulfed into being a teenager – Some interaction skills I thought I would need I haven’t needed, and others that I thought I had (or had a good enough version) aren’t what I need/aren’t good enough for the encounter.

Sometimes you chat with a person who has experienced a travel mode you haven’t – and get a sense of what to bring, what to avoid, and what supplies are generally available with that travel mode – but sometimes you don’t – and sometimes their description of the circumstance comes no where close to matching yours.

I was bemoaning why my siblings weren’t getting jobs/scholarships the way I had when I was their age (this was a few years ago actually). My dad (who they lived with) reproached me mildly by pointing out that “it was a whole different world” then the one I had experienced. He then laid out 2-3 rational changes that had a profound difference on the landscape(s) they were experiencing that I hadn’t. It brought me off my “high horse” and is a thought I keep in the back of my mind whenever I want to bemoan something else.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for letting us know how your talk went. I’m glad to hear it went so well for you.

catlady wrote:

Giving that talk taught me I can be a light for others and still be true to myself.

Back when I taught 17yo Sunday school, I was still pretty raw and damaged from my faith crisis. When I taught, I never followed the manual. I did stick to trying to teach an orthodox message, but I always would teach in a way that was honest with my unorthodox views. Occasionally, I’d give them a “the gospel according to Brother PazamaMan” thought. I never went into anything heretical, but they did hear things in a way that they never would have gotten from someone else.

I never thought my lessons were worth anything. Most of the time I was just trying to muddle through and finish the second hour. But a couple times near the end of the year, a couple of my kids got up and spoke in fast and testimony meeting. In their testimonies, they mentioned how much they loved Sunday school and that they were going to miss it after the year was over. One of them even said that he had found hope while he was in a really dark place because of the class that I had been teaching. Before that, I had no idea how they felt about my class. Needless to say, I felt pretty darn good that day.

So while we may not believe exactly as most people do in this church, I like to believe that our experiences can still have value for others.

[Anonymous]

Wonderful!

[Anonymous]

It’s always great to hear people with flexible views of the church and gospel indicate they gave a talk or taught a lesson and got through it successfully — even as a positive experience overall. I have had some of those experiences and they can be very rewarding. Bravo :clap: :clap:

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