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SamBee wrote:
I disagree with the notions that swearing is either ignorant, uneducated or unimaginative… certainly no more so than many other words, such as “get”, “nice” or “stuff”… I think that’s a relic of the old class differentiation mentioned earlier (Norman/Latin, i.e. upper class terms are alright, but Anglo-Saxon ones aren’t…)
That’s not why I want to stop it at all, because I believe that’s rubbish. Sorry! I want to stop it because it upsets some people, is linked up with anger, and is probably not good for me. I’m certainly not unimaginative, or illiterate! It’s more to do with the “milieu” around here.
I don’t know about you, but I always FEEL BETTER inside when I express myself without swearing. Using gentleman’s language is good for one’s inner peace.
What is a “gentleman” properly though? A gentleman is a member of the nobility. Just like “vulgar” means of the common people, folk still unconsciously manifest a type of snobbery about swearing. My issue is not, and never has been, with swearing as a form of class distinction, it’s with it as a form of negativity. I agree that we should watch our words, but we should also look at the origins and thinking behind other words.
As for me, I’m plebeian scum, some of whose ancestors managed to rise out of peasant poverty and into higher education only within the past few generations! Gentleman or aristocrat I am not! (Some of my other ancestors attained success earlier on, but my point stands.)
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gentleman
Quote:
1.a man of good family, breeding, or social position.
6.
a male attendant upon a king, queen, or other royal person, who is himself of high birth or rank.
7.
a man of good social standing, as a noble or an armigerous commoner.
8.
a man with an independent income who does not work for a living.
10.
History/Historical . a man who is above the rank of yeoman.
Vulgar
Quote:1.
characterized by ignorance of or
lack of good breedingor taste: vulgar ostentation. 3.
crude; coarse; unrefined: a vulgar peasant.
4.
of, pertaining to, or constituting
the ordinary people in a society: the vulgar masses.5.
current; popular; common: a vulgar success; vulgar beliefs.
6.
spoken by, or being in the language spoken by, the people generally; vernacular: vulgar tongue.
How is this coming along for you, Sambee? I’m constantly working on this myself. Loved reading everyone’s thoughts. I love working in a place where the language is clean and respectful and I wish I could say it was the same in my home. So, I’m glad to find support here and a reminder.
Cnsl1 wrote:“Thanks, I gotta stop f-ing cussing so much.”
Sounds like something J. Golden Kimball would say!
I’ve had a rather interesting history with this subject. I remember once on my mission, we tracted into a young guy who dropped salty language right and left. He wasn’t angry. That’s just how he talked. I lived with my Grandma for three years before my mission and, bless her heart, she could string together language that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush, so I was used to hearing it. After we left, my companion was visibly shaken. I asked him what was wrong. He said, “could you believe the language he was using?” I was like, “what language?” I’d been around it so much I let it roll off my back.
I try to not to swear, but I’ve found ignoring it can be a useful skill with all the traveling I do outside of Utah for my job.
observant wrote:How is this coming along for you, Sambee?
I’m constantly working on this myself. Loved reading everyone’s thoughts. I love working in a place where the language is clean and respectful and I wish I could say it was the same in my home. So, I’m glad to find support here and a reminder.
Pretty good thanks, apart from one person who I run into now and again… drives me to a barrage of swearing as they are incredibly difficult to deal with. I don’t swear with other people at all really now, or extremely little…
Like I say, swearing is hardwired into how I speak, so it’s difficult.
Okay, this may be like admitting to listening to Hannah Montana, but this reminds me of the song “Dang, Fetch, Oh My Heck” from the Sons of Provo sound track. Pretty funny. I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen/heard it. Those guys are pretty good at satire, I thought, and arguably musically talented. I swear. I use all the words. But I do so selectively, and very consciously. My children have never heard me swear. I never have sworn at anyone. So if you swear without thinking, you are right, you should probably stop. But I don’t think it is a bad thing in and of itself.
Some things deserve a good f-bomb, like talking about child abuse. These words have power, and to consciously tap into that power is a responsible way to use them. But using them sloppily or worst unconsciously, I don’t see any benefit.
Hi Sambee. Thanks so much for your post. Since I have been reading the life of J. Golden Kimball lately (the swearing GA) I can understand how difficult it is when you are raised in a certain cultural upbringing. My dad never swore (expect on rare ocassions), but my mother swore (in German) all the time. I did not like it growing up, but found myself swearing in German as well (like if it was in German it was ok). Whenever my nerves were shot, or I stubbed my big toe, I would let loose and still do sometimes. My husband always says the word “Blasted’ so as not to say a bad word. Raising kids made a difference because the first time I heard my oldest son at 2 said the word ‘Sh..t” I knew it was time. I don’t like movies where every other word is a swear word and will walk out. I had customers and bosses who used the Lords name in vain, and in a polite way asked them if they would not do that in front of me. They were good about it. When I taught 7 year old’s in Primary once, I took some clean empty baby food jars and had the kids draw a picture of an angel on one label and a picture of the devil on the other label and stick them on their jars. (They loved drawing the devil the most)! I gave each child 10 pennies and asked them to be aware of things they did right or wrong (like bad words) and put a penny in the devil jar for bad stuff and a penny for each good thing. If they repented for something bad they could take a penny out of the devil jar and into the angel jar. At the end of the week they could see who they were becoming more like. They seemed to really enjoy this game because it helped them realize that if you ‘steal’ you become a theif or ‘lie’ become a liar. Each of us are becoming by what we are sayig and doing. It isn’t easy but I have to decide what kind of a person I want to be.
Thanks Bridget. Neither of my parents swore, except my father who would use one particular word/expression (pretty mild compared to most of these words, and unheard of in North America.) By the way, yes he did say “blasted” – I’d forgotten that one! He’d also use “rotten”, “rotter” etc, and my mother occasionally referred to “cussedness” all of which perhaps are substitutes for the real thing. One of my teachers used to say “dashed”/”dash it”, obviously from the printed ”
it” in old books.BUT! My schoolfriends did swear, the people on the street swore, my work colleagues swore. I used to do some manual work, so you can imagine what the language was like in those environments.
I used to know a girl at elementary school who would always “sugar”. She said it often, and I did feel like saying, “why don’t you just say s—?” I couldn’t really be doing with saying that – it’s not really suitable for a grown man to go round saying “sugar”.
Of course there are a number of words which have rude origins but people might not be aware of it e.g. prat, prannie, jerk, dork, fanny, frig/frigging/freaking etc
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