- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Well Brothers and Sisters, I am done with being an active Mormon. I was “church broke” for many years, and I am grateful for the blessings I received as an active member, especially the opportunities I had to meet and serve many good people. But at least for the forseeable future, I will no longer serve in callings, attend SS or EQ, HT, pay tithing, or be accountable to anyone in the Church. iacta alea est.I took me a long time to get to this point. Although there are historical and doctrinal problems with the church, those things are not what pushed me over the edge. The most damaging thing to my relationship with the church is that I have been jerked around by church doctrine, policy, and culture regarding my homosexuality for twenty-eight years. And I’m done with it.
:thumbdown: The Miracle of Forgiveness, Mormon Doctrine, To the One, E Packer’s 1992 talk to the All-Church Coordinating Council, reparative therapy, Prop 8 rhetoric, Utah’s Amendment 3 rhetoric, the list goes on and on. I humbly and faithfully believed the the Q15 knew what they were talking about, that they knew the “true” nature of homosexuality, that I needed to be cured and that they had the cure, and that they cared about me and people like me enough to do something substantial to make our lives in the church better. I want to be clear–I am grateful that I have been treated kindly by my priesthood leaders. I recognize that the church has made progress, and continues to do so. In listening to GC talks over the past few years, however, it has become clear to me that the brethren (whether intentionally or not) have portrayed gay people as an enemy to the church. The family is under attack, the world is out to get us, Satan is using gay activists to destroy the family, etc., etc. Their veiled statements are taken by some members of the church as license to hysterically hunker down against (mostly) perceived attacks from the gays. I assert that as long as this bunker mentality exists, progress toward a better place for gay people in the church will be slow and tortuous.
I also want to make clear that I appreciate counsel from the brethren to never be unkind to homosexuals, or to persecute them. There is a big gap, however, between not being unkind to homosexuals on the one hand, and being kind on the other.
Last fall, I hit rock bottom. After two and a half decades of trying to change my sexual orientation (because I believed that was what the church required of me) I became incredibly despondent and hopeless for a decent future. After a month of suicidal thoughts, I realized I had to get help. I started seeing a therapist once a week to talk out my tortured ideations. I also began to go to physical therapy and to see a nutritionist to regain my physical health that had been destroyed by years of religion induced hopelessness. I am feeling better than I have in years. I am happy to be a gay man and I know Jesus loves me and accepts my orientation.
:thumbup: I am a Mormon. I will never be anything but a Mormon. It is my heritage. I love many of the things taught by Joseph Smith, and wish to continue to model my life on the vision of Jesus and Zion that Bro. Smith brought forth. I feel a sense of beauty and peace during the sacrament ordinance. But I’ve got to cut the bad stuff loose, or I’m going to lose myself. I’ve decided to take a stand. I’ll probably attend Sacrament Meeting a couple times a month, but that is it.
I think things will get better for gay people in the church. I am very appreciative of all that all of you do little by little in your own spheres of influence to make a place for LGBT people. Please keep it up! In a few years, I may be able to return to activity. In the mean time, I will continue to be involved in this community and others like it. God bless you all!
:angel: I love you turinturambar! I love this post! I have reached some similar ideas lately. Spirituality belongs to us. I have learned so much from you and I’m grateful for your participation here. I’m so happy for you and I wish you a peaceful and rewarding New Life. And I hope we will continue to see you here. God speed, friend! Turinturambar – Godspeed in your crossing. You have worked so hard. I thank you for taking us with you on your journey, you have enriched my compassion, taught me great insights, and hopefully strengthened my empathy. Where ever your road goes, please check back and let us know what you learn. You are a man of great insight. I am grieved that you couldn’t find peace and hopeful that you will now. I, too, love you. There will always be a place on my bench and in my life for you. Quote:I’ve got to cut the bad stuff loose, or I’m going to lose myself.
Amen, brother – and amen.
Thank you for allowing us to accompany you on your journey. I have enjoyed your friendship immensely and count it as a great blessing to have “met” you. If I ever return to your area, which is likely to happen given how long we lived there, I hope we can get together and share a meal and talk in person.
turinturambar wrote:I am happy to be a gay man and I know Jesus loves me and accepts my orientation.
:thumbup: :clap: Thanks for sharing. You seem to be in a fairly good place right now. I do benefit from your comments and hope you won’t leave us behind. I wish you the best of luck, turin. Sorry for not spelling the whole name. Anyway, I pray that you’ll find peace and happiness in whatever path the Holy Spirit guides you to take as a gay Mormon. Life in the church can be difficult, especially for us members that aren’t in Stage 3 any more or that don’t fit what’s expected most members of the church. I agree that the church had made much progress in regards to its gay members and needs to make more. Since I’m a member that’s a recovering sex addict, I’ve seen the church make progress with regards to its members that have addictions and needs to make more there as well. Bless you in all that you do and I wish happiness for you in your quest for the man you are meant to be. Thank you for sharing Turinturambar. I’m really pleased to hear you’re reaching spiritual independence and acceptance of self. Jesus really does love you. I too long for a time when the church moves away from creating divisive lines in the sand over issues that really don’t matter. I’m sorry the organisation has got in the way of the gospel. I you find peace and continue sharing your journey with us.
When Jesus said the love of money was the root of evil, he could have been talking of our age. Profiteering, cost cutting, the bottom line, violence for money, onerous debts and interest, exploiting employees and preventing them having proper families and friendship, and time to themselves… wars for greed… these all threaten our society. They are the biggest threat – follow the money. And that is what the church should concentrate on. Not gays.
I’m glad you are able to reconcile this, Turinturambar — I can’t imagine the difficulty you have gone through to reach this point. Know that you will honestly find support here. I don’t understand why the institutional church focuses so much energy on the gay topic. It’s not an issue with the younger crowd. My daughter graduating high school this year definitely doesn’t get why it’s such a hot issue. I admire her for it and think things will change at some time. The church has already changed its views over the years and I expect that will continue.
Dear Turintumbar, Quote:I started seeing a therapist once a week to talk out my tortured ideations. I also began to go to physical therapy and to see a nutritionist to regain my physical health that had been destroyed by years of religion induced hopelessness. I am feeling better than I have in years. I am happy to be a gay man and I know Jesus loves me and accepts my orientation.
:thumbup: So glad you are taking care of yourself and that you realize you are here for a reason, and that you have purpose. I wish you health and happiness and the best of everything. I hope you let us know how you are doing and how things are going.
Love,
Harmony
turinturambar wrote:I want to be clear–I am grateful that I have been treated kindly by my priesthood leaders. I recognize that the church has made progress, and continues to do so. In listening to GC talks over the past few years, however, it has become clear to me that the brethren (whether intentionally or not) have portrayed gay people as an enemy to the church. The family is under attack, the world is out to get us, Satan is using gay activists to destroy the family, etc., etc. Their veiled statements are taken by some members of the church as license to hysterically hunker down against (mostly) perceived attacks from the gays. I assert that as long as this bunker mentality exists, progress toward a better place for gay people in the church will be slow and tortuous.
I also want to make clear that I appreciate counsel from the brethren to never be unkind to homosexuals, or to persecute them. There is a big gap, however, between not being unkind to homosexuals on the one hand, and being kind on the other.
turinturambar – You’ve been very clear about these things and your gratitude shines through in your posts. Thank you for being here, and thank you in advance for staying at StayLDS. Your experience and the way you record it has been eye-opening for me. I wish you the very, very best.
Best wishes. I’m not a touchy feely guy. … but I listen and appreciate your post here. You post. I think.
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.