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Well, I know I haven’t been on here in quite a while and I’m grateful for this website. I read a PDF of a book that was written by a friend of mine called Myths of Christianity. My friend published this a year ago and he’s a former member of the church. Very book, uplifting book, while many more traditional Christians and Mormons will find the book shocking. Unfortunately, my friend, his wife, his sister-in-law, and his mother-in-law all the left the church. The father-in-law joined the church as a convert, as did his wife. His wife and older daughter were strong in the church, just like the father-in-law still is now. I learned the younger sister-in-law was never that strong in the church anyway, so she left and joined another church with her husband. I was shocked to learn my friend’s wife and mother had left the church. The dad was a strong leader in the young adult branch and his wife and older daughter were strong members. The reason why my friend was because–surprise, surprise–the church had lied about much of its history. I’ve come to believe that the church wasn’t very open about it, afraid the church would lose its members. So now I’m starting to really struggle with wanting to stay in the church. Please help! I don’t want to talk to my parents about this because I don’t want their faith to get shaken and most people in my ward won’t understand. How do the rest of you here deal with a situation like this? I can’t say I’m in your exact situation. There are benefits to being the only member in my family, and likewise for my wife. I’m not really close to anyone who has left the church, but I do recognize the issue of feeling as though they have been deceived is big for many and was a smaller part of my own crisis. I do know you, though, even though our interaction has been limited and we have never literally met. Your username says it all. I have read your testimony of Christ, and I believe you – you do love Christ. As I transitioned my own faith (which, of course, is actually an ongoing process), it was and is a testimony of Jesus Christ that is a strong support. I mentioned elsewhere that I was impressed in our stake conference that two speakers closed with testimonies to the effect that they knew the gospel was true, without mentioning the church. I believe the gospel is true, that Jesus is the Christ. Nothing else really matters.
Thanks. I really needed to hear that. That brought tears to my eyes. My recovery to sex addiction has been the best it has been in years. I’m truly at peace with knowing to recover from my addiction now. I’m definitely grateful to my Savior for that. As you said, I guess that’s all that matters is that I love Christ, not that I agree with everything in the church. It reminds of a movie called The Rapture with the actress Mimi Rogers. Really good movie. It has a couple nude scenes, but it isn’t too bad. In this movie, Mimi plays a woman who’s wild sexually and she knows her life feels empty. She meets two young men on bikes, sort of like Mormon missionaries, that are members of a Christian cult with a child prophet. Later on, she has an experience and she becomes converting, joining the cult. I won’t give too much away, but her husband gets killed and her daughter gets killed. When the rapture comes towards the end of the movie, she can see her daughter in heaven, and her daughter calls down to her. She and her daughter talk. Mimi’s character was holding a grudge towards God because of losing her husband and daughter. I won’t spoil the ending, but I will say that her daughter says to her something along the lines like it doesn’t matter that you made mistakes, it just matters that you love God. That caused me to get teary-eyed. I guess that’s what really matters in the end is if you love God or not. I remember from your Introduction that you said you were diagnosed with OCD. Do you think what you’re currently going through is related to that?
There are many choices for you to try. For example:
– Don’t go to church for awhile.
– Go to sacrament meetings only.
– Go to another ward or denomination.
– Find a service project or organization to volunteer your time. (You’ve heard this all before.)
I wouldn’t drop everything at once. You may regret it.
Find someone to talk to face to face.
Since coming to this site, I’ve developed a close group of friends I can talk to within my community.
Some are in the church others are not. One of my best friends considers himself an atheist.
Others are of different faiths. Some Jewish & one is Muslim.
Call me if you want. You have my number.
I wouldn’t write off your membership until you tried other things first.
I wish you the best. You can get through this. Many of us have been in your position.
Thanks, Mike. I appreciate that. Actually due to my dad being sick lately I haven’t made it to church in a month or two. I still take time out to study my scriptures and that helps even after me having my faith reconstruction. My dad’s radiation treatment for prostate cancer makes him sick sometimes and he’s been sick for a past few Sundays. My ward isn’t that bad actually. A really good friend of mine that I’ve grown up with is the bishop and that makes it easier for me to want to go. I go to a ward in a small college town and people come and go there all the time. The only people people in the church I can talk to in person is Kevin Kloosterman, former bishop who advocates for gay rights, and another friend that go to the ward in the next town over. Mike, I was thinking I might call you tomorrow night sometime if that would be okay. I hear you. I keep hearing the transition being called a trust or truth crisis versus a faith crisis. Many people have said enough based on how our history is taught to us and the weird lines of connection we stretch through it. Like everyone else, I can’t answer this for you, but I also agree that you have a huge Christ Anchor in your life. When I look at Christs life – he was a member of the Jewish religion, not just it’s race. Though he brought what we now call Christianity, he did still remain an active member of his religion. He became a Rabbi, he participated in synagogue, he enacted all of the covenant events – Passover and such. Yes he was a radical, but he never abandoned it. He honored it. For myself that is the example I keep before me as I try to StayLDS. Is it possible that you can do the same?
Again I am not you, maybe it is time to give it a rest. Plenty of people do and have very fulfilling lives, some of them even come back. Maybe you should contact Kevin Kloosterman – if anyone knows you and the scenario you are looking it, it maybe him. Even if it just helps you think.
Lastly, remember that well written material from anyone can be very compelling.
I know you don’t know me, but I totally understand these feelings. I kept focusing on what it would do to everyone else if I left the church. Both sides of my family are pioneer heritage, as are both sides of my husbands family. I couldn’t disappoint more people if I tried! haha I have a very active extended family and I worried about that constantly. What I have learned lately is to let that go. I wait on the Savior and let Him guide me where He wants me to be. He is the only one I am now worried to disappoint. I just recently got an impression that the Lord is not in a rush for me to understand things or to have total faith again. Even in Him. He is happy with us as long as we keep trying. I have let go of the notion of my life being a test and focus more on life being a learning experience, so now I can let go of the idea of failure as well. We aren’t failing the Lord if we are in crisis, He knows how tough this is and He loves us for even trying to understand truth. If you believe in Christ, sit there for awhile and wait to do what you think the Lord is asking you to do. You can’t make a mistake if you honestly think you are making the right decisions, plus, I believe the Lord is pretty good at putting us back on track even when we do our best at detouring ourselves. I don’t know if I am making any sense, I am still in the very centre of my faith crisis, but know that you aren’t alone in trying to make sense of everything. slowlylosingit wrote:I know you don’t know me, but I totally understand these feelings. I kept focusing on what it would do to everyone else if I left the church. Both sides of my family are pioneer heritage, as are both sides of my husbands family. I couldn’t disappoint more people if I tried! haha I have a very active extended family and I worried about that constantly. What I have learned lately is to let that go. I wait on the Savior and let Him guide me where He wants me to be. He is the only one I am now worried to disappoint. I just recently got an impression that the Lord is not in a rush for me to understand things or to have total faith again. Even in Him. He is happy with us as long as we keep trying. I have let go of the notion of my life being a test and focus more on life being a learning experience, so now I can let go of the idea of failure as well. We aren’t failing the Lord if we are in crisis, He knows how tough this is and He loves us for even trying to understand truth. If you believe in Christ, sit there for awhile and wait to do what you think the Lord is asking you to do. You can’t make a mistake if you honestly think you are making the right decisions, plus, I believe the Lord is pretty good at putting us back on track even when we do our best at detouring ourselves. I don’t know if I am making any sense, I am still in the very centre of my faith crisis, but know that you aren’t alone in trying to make sense of everything.
1st I understand this completely. At the darkest point of my dark night of the soul I felt love and acceptance for myself and my stillborn daughter. We are both ok. She never accomplished anything – has no covenant/temple sealing assurances. (as a stillborn she does not qualify. Official church doctrine is simply that we do not know.) I’ve screwed up more times than I can count. And we are both ok in the eyes of God. I wish that I could communicate that feeling to people that think that God hates them or that their eternal salvation might be yanked away at any minute.
2nd I do not advocate leaving the church but I do advocate following your conscience and the best desires of your soul. I hope that you can follow Christ and be Mormon – but if that is not possible for you then I would hope that your following Christ would lead you to act in compassion, love, and dignity in all that you do. Your family would probably be disappointed and will likely be hurtful in their misunderstanding. But I imagine that over time they would be moved with the positive spirit in your life. You are not offended or bitter – eager to justify sin or being lazy. People who really know you will start to be touched by your example – whether you are a member of the church or not. As we often say, “Trade Up!”
I made a mistake. I typed up a long paragraph about three experiences I had in my mission that have convinced me to stay in the church. Unfortunately, my computer logged me out because I took too long in writing it. Pardon my french, but that pisses me off. Anyway, I think I’ll stay in the church. Even though the church has its warts, it helps me be more like Christ, I can serve others, and I can help build the type of Zion Joseph Smith envisioned. Ilovechrist77 wrote:I made a mistake. I typed up a long paragraph about three experiences I had in my mission that have convinced me to stay in the church. Unfortunately, my computer logged me out because I took too long in writing it. Pardon my french, but that pisses me off. Anyway, I think I’ll stay in the church. Even though the church has its warts, it helps me be more like Christ, I can serve others, and I can help build the type of Zion Joseph Smith envisioned.
:clap: These are reasons I stay as well. Pres. Uchtdorf is right.Quote:In spite of our human imperfections, I am confident that you will find among the members of this Church many of the finest souls this world has to offer. The Church of Jesus Christ seems to attract the kind and the caring, the honest and the industrious.
If you expect to find perfect people here, you will be disappointed. But if you seek the pure doctrine of Christ, the word of God “which healeth the wounded soul,”9 and the sanctifying influence of the Holy Ghost, then here you will find them. In this age of waning faith—in this age when so many feel distanced from heaven’s embrace—here you will find a people who yearn to know and draw closer to their Savior by serving God and fellowmen, just like you. Come, join with us!
(Sorry about your original post – I have had similar experiences in the past and it does tend to be extremely irritating.)
Ilovechrist77 wrote:I made a mistake. I typed up a long paragraph about three experiences I had in my mission that have convinced me to stay in the church. Unfortunately, my computer logged me out because I took too long in writing it. Pardon my french, but that pisses me off. Anyway, I think I’ll stay in the church. Even though the church has its warts, it helps me be more like Christ, I can serve others, and I can help build the type of Zion Joseph Smith envisioned.
This is awesome! I agree with you. I believe one of the things the church did for me was teach me about Christ and I am really grateful. It is a great church for a lot of different people and it needs all types for a great community. I had a great seminary class yesterday where I was able to teach all about Jesus Christ and throw out some of the non-essentials. So I believe (and I hope) my FC has made me a better teacher and I feel more effective and more passionate about teaching what matters. You can do so much for the church by staying.
Ilovechrist77 wrote:Unfortunately, my computer logged me out because I took too long in writing it. Pardon my french, but that pisses me off.
I hate when that happens.
Just a tip (not that I’m advocating for long posts…but I’ve had my share of things to say…and just to not lose it…):
– You can right mouse click in the text window before submitting, and Select All and Copy all the text so it is in your computer clipboard…then if the submit doesn’t work, it logs you out, or something happens…you can reply and hit Paste and make sure it all goes through.
Thanks, Roy, for the reminder. I first remembered to do that, but I couldn’t forgot with that last response I made. Thanks, everyone, for the advice so far. I sometimes forget, though, that even though many of these members might teach much of the teachings in a black-and-white way, their viewpoints in regards to the church teachings or secular matters in the world may not be so black and white. Then I realize faith in a religion or a supreme is tricky and messy in many ways. I love the fact that the church is finally putting essays online that talk about much of the church’s troubled history. Unfortunately, too many people probably won’t read them. Well, nobody is perfect.
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