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I have come to terms with a lot of stuff over the last few months. I am at a point now where I can actively engage in church services and meetings. I look forward to serving and want to try to magnify my callings (on my terms and to my understanding). But I am still having a hard time wanting to go to the temple. I get irritated when I think about sitting in that endowment room for what feels like an eternity trying to not fall asleep. If it was hard before my FC, it’s even harder now that I look at the ceremony as less a process divinely passed down from God and more as a ‘borrowed’ ceremony the Joseph Smith saw importance in. As I learn more about the origin and subsequent changes in the ceremony, it is losing importance (I might also say credibility).
As a primary kid, I used to think that the temple was a special place where we could be closer to god and feel the spirit. I know that the word ‘work’ is present in the phrase ‘temple work’ but does it really have to be SO MUCH WORK!? I wish there could be an express lane where I could go in, get the ‘work’ out of the way, then just go and sit in the celestial room to be with my thoughts, or my wife, or my God. But by the time I get to the C room in an average temple session, I am so done being there, I walk out if the celestial room as fast as I walk in.
Going to the temple is as painful sometimes as sitting through a fast and testimony meeting. I wish it could be more like I imagined it would be when I was young. Instead, it’s just a really quiet church building where you get all dressed up in white, watch a really long and boring movie, and then miss out on the best part because you are stressed out about the babysitter and have to run home.
Two things, and I don’t mean to be dismissive in any way by listing them. It’s just how my brain operates in cases like this – as everyone who has been here for a fairly long time can attest. 
1) We have a LOT of threads about the temple – and, in this case, about pretty much the exact same issue you describe in this post. I encourage you, strongly, to read as many of those threads as you can, since there are hundreds of comments total – from lots of people who no longer participate actively. There is a lot of really good, really profound input in them that you won’t get from us now – since we can’t duplicate the contributions of past participants.
2) You said the following:
Quote:As a primary kid, I used to think that the temple was a special place where we could be closer to god and feel the spirit.
I still feel that way – but I know the ceremony so well that I can tune it out often and let myself try to commune with God while I go through the physical motions. I can relax, open my mind and see where it takes me. I’ve had some incredibly wonderful experiences doing that – and I have felt closer to God as a result.
I understand that might not work for some people, but it works beautifully for me.
EuSouScott, your post made me think about the idea of finding a “temple” of your own. I mean a place to worship God that actually works for you. I would like to do this for myself, and I haven’t found that place yet, but the idea of it seems intriguing to me. Excellent point, journeygirl. Truly great point. Can’t you put on your temple clothes and go directly to the celestial room, or is that a no-no? I want to say I’ve heard of temple presidents making special concessions for special circumstances but perhaps there is only one method of entry to the celestial room. Yes, that is acceptable – but it’s going to draw attention and possible comments if it happens regularly. However, I know quite a few people who do initiatory or baptisms (or sealings) and then go into the Celestial Room. It’s one way people can enjoy the temple without participating in the endowment ceremony.
I echo y our concerns and wish the same about the celestial room and wish we could just go in and sit and meditate. Someone recently told me that the church tried to have a place for meditation but the demand was so great that they couldn’t fit everyone, but I don’t know how much that is true. I wish it were , and/or I wish they would open up a meditation room to just go…but at this point there isn’t……. So I made one for myself. I commandeered my son’s walk in closet (as the only thing in there was one suit and soccer shoes..haha). So, now I have pillows, inspirational posters, journals, essential oils, crystals, all things to relax me and help me feel centered. It is my sacred space. No kids allowed…haha It is just mine and I love going in there to find peace, connect with God, with my higher self and be reminded who I truly am. It is much more sacred for me than the temple has been in years. I hope to someday reconcile myself and with the temple and be able to see have the peace that I used to used to (or at least not hold so much resentment towards it) But this works for me and I believe God is EVERYWHERE, and will connect with us ANYWHERE.
I hope you find a sacred space for yourself if that is your desire.
journeygirl wrote:EuSouScott, your post made me think about the idea of finding a “temple” of your own. I mean a place to worship God that actually works for you. I would like to do this for myself, and I haven’t found that place yet, but the idea of it seems intriguing to me.
I think this is good advice. I like the Sabbath as a “temple in time” and really look forward to it. Find something that feels holy to you and invest in it.
The Good: * My parents died when I was young. When a significant anniversary came
along, I felt I had done little for them bar tending their grave. Going to the temple meant I could do work for them, and has given me a sense
of peace I didn’t have before.
* The font – ours has the best atmosphere in the building, better than the celestial room.
* The canteen is seriously good value!!!
* When I’m in the temple, problems from the outside world don’t bother
me. It’s an oasis.
* The grounds are beautiful and well maintained.
* The chandeliers, mirrors etc work well.
The bad:
* Endowment’s dull? Tend to agree although I love the nature footage. (Unwittingly they remind us some of the best temples are in the wilds of
nature.)
* It’s a three hour trip from here, making it somewhere I visit
infrequently. This is a mixed blessing – day trips start early and are long. but since I’m not on top of it, I’m not sick of it.
* Furniture – looks like a hotel.
* The shop doesn’t have a wide range.
The ugly:
* After listening to people whittering on about traffic in the celestial
room for twenty minutes I had to tell them to shut up. That was last
summer.
* Not keen on the veil – a bit creepy. Why can’t spirits get some kind
of multiple proxy?
I very much like the idea of finding a temple of my own. I ran with that idea during the silence of the sacrament meeting today. A place I can escape to any time I want, a place where no man has the power to bar entry, perhaps even a state of mind that I can take with me wherever I go… maybe even come up with my own rites to help me remember what is important to me.
SamBee wrote:Not keen on the veil – a bit creepy. Why can’t spirits get some kind of multiple proxy?
Could you expound on this a bit. I’m not sure I understand what you meant by multiple proxy.
With baptism, I can understand an individual proxy, but with endowment, it’s hard to see why one person has to be one person… why can’t I do an endowment for ten folk simultaneously? I think it’s because the purpose is to turn one heart to one heart – to respect the dead as individuals. I don’t see that ever changing – not given the way most members see it. Where’s the stopping point? If ten is good, how about two hundred – or 20 billion? Why not just perform one ceremony for everyone who ever lived?
I really do think it’s about us, primarily and at the practical level, not about the dead – even though it absolutely is about the dead in a very important way.
When it takes over an hour and a half for the average endowment, it’s not an efficient use of time for the living or the dead. I don’t think the dead are concerned about 90 minutes – or even a day. I don’t think efficiency has anything to do with temple work.
Just saying.
🙂 SamBee wrote:When it takes over an hour and a half for the average endowment, it’s not an efficient use of time for the living or the dead.
Yeah, they could totally streamline the entire process with conveyer belts!
😆
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