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Wonnerful wrote:
The last two comments are very hard to hear and still want to go back to the LDS church. I am resigned. I don’t know anyone who is gay but I have empathy for gay people.The only way I could justify going back to the LDS church, by that I mean just attending and being part of the culture, is to say to myself that I would be a voice of reason and spread empathy as much as possible. My best reasoning to be a Cultural Mormon now is, being a silent critic on the outside is actually less useful and practical than being an outspoken enlightener on the inside.
Or am I deluding myself that my progressive opinions, even if stated softly and carefully and respectfully, would be received open mindedly in a largely conservative church?
it depends a little bit on your ward and somewhat indirectly on you bishop. Bishops do have the power to set the tone of a ward, whether on purpose or not. But, I generally have found that calmly and non-confrontationally stating an alternative point of view has generally been well received, often with at least a few nodding heads (not counting the sleeping/nearly sleeping high priests).
This is one of my biggest concerns with the church right now. I feel like the church is making a huge mistake with its stance. I view church as a hospital. All spiritual ailing people should be welcome. And that would include everyone, regardless of sin, sexual orientation, etc. basically, all of us. Personally, I have not come to terms with gay and Mormon. I have a close family member who is extremely active and religious with a testimony that moves me to tears of envy. He’s gay, but has chosen a hetero lifestyle because of his church beliefs. He is married and has children. He is not in the closet; all that associate with him know his situation. He’s been in a bishopbric in a past ward, even with his beliefs disclosed to his bishop and SP. sadly, he’s been somewhat ostracized in his current ward. It makes me oh so angry for him (he somehow takes it in stride). I have another close family member who is gay, and is living with a partner. He respects the church, but has chosen to not be a part of it. I respect both of these people because they are making choices based on what they believe will bring them the most happiness. I can’t argue with that, it’s the right approach imo.
I honestly don’t know what is right for the church to do. I also really struggle with a thought that if we are truly led by an inspired prophet who is our phone a friend to God, then shouldn’t we be on the forefront of social issues? Shouldn’t the church as an institution express more inclusiveness and empathy? This issue within the church could very well be my undoing.
I have stayed in the church to help encourage members and/or youth who are struggling to understand their sexual identity. The only gay and lesbian friends I have are exmormons or active mormons. They have had overwhelming support by their families in general but I know that is not always the case. I want to be there to encourage members to be more open minded so support and love can be the norm. I don’t particularly care what the churches official stance is anymore as I believe that I am going to be judged for the conscience of my own mind rather than my ability to follow leadership when my spirit whispers a different truth. When my daughter (step) came from El Salvador she had never met a gay person and had a very negative opinion because of her culture. We gently encouraged her to keep an open mind, showed her my friends who live successful happy lives as gay/lesbian members of society, and spoke in support of a few gay kids at school she mentioned. They have become some of her best friends and she has since helped another boy who decided to come out to his bishop (successfully!!). If I were to leave the church, I think I would be losing the chance to change people’s understanding for the better. There is this quote that says something like “when we think of traveling to the past, we are so afraid that we will have one small act that will change the entire future. Yet no one in the present thinks one small act matters.” Staying is my small act 🙂 Great comments, lots of food for thought. I would like to think that the LDS church is at least headed in the direction of being more accepting of gay people (which seems to be the case). There stance seems to be basically against “acting on their same sex attraction,” same as any sexual activities outside marriage. But the feelings themselves and even the identity of being “gay person” seems to be accepted officially.
I would like to think that soon most LDS who are gay will grow up and feel generally accepted inherently, as fellow gods in embryo and accepted members (except not being allowed to act on it as devout LDS), and then when they reach maturity will simply make the choice to be celibate, try to be heterosexual, or simply leave the Church. I would like to think that in the future that will be done without huge issues of shame and low self-esteem because hopefully the Church is working toward teaching LDS parents and members to not shame gay people for simply being gay (which seems to be the case). I like to hope that is the future. And maybe, just maybe new revelation will make things even better.
Thinking like this makes me more pro-Mormon. Also, when I consider how other Christian Churches deal with the issue, the LDS Church starts to look rather progressive in some ways compared to some other conservative type churches.
harmon-y wrote:I don’t particularly care what the churches official stance is anymore as I believe that I am going to be judged for the conscience of my own mind rather than my ability to follow leadership when my spirit whispers a different truth.
You and I are so on the same page here! It’s so nice to hear words I could have spoken myself.
Quote:There is this quote that says something like “when we think of traveling to the past, we are so afraid that we will have one small act that will change the entire future. Yet no one in the present thinks one small act matters.” Staying is my small act
🙂
:thumbup: Quote:Staying is my small act
Me, too – for LGBT and for other marginalized people in our community.
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