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Hello everyone, I started on the NOM board and I heard about staylds through people on there. I’ve lurked on here when I can.
I am currently the bishop of my ward and have just recently gone through a crisis of faith. I was BIC, mission, temple marriage. I won’t go into too many details about my life. I’m sure you understand.
I started drifting from orthodoxy a few years ago when I began to see that there were non-mormons who were having spiritual experiences and seemed just as happy, if not more than myself and many members of the church. I know many evangelical anti-mormons say that Joseph Smith’s experiences were of the devil. If other people were having powerful spirtual experiences do I then become like them and say they were of the devil? I couldn’t do it. How could I do that? It just didn’t make sense. I either had to accept that they were fabricating/lying, or that it was of the devil or that it was real for them. I felt like I needed to follow the Golden Rule and treat people the way I would want to be treated in that situation. I’ve had some really cool spiritual experiences in my life. I accept that others not of my faith do too. When I became bishop, my life became so busy, I must say that “bishop burnout” was a factor. I also came accross a blog that changed my whole perspective on the endowment and how I could see it more symbolically rather than literal. The name of the blog is:
http://millennialmormonism.blogspot.com/http://millennialmormonism.blogspot.com/” class=”bbcode_url”> I’m just not as literal anymore. I don’t have all the answers and now I’m in a totally new world that is so strange and foreign to me that its overwhelming. But I don’t belong in the anti-mormon world either. I’m not even that angry at the church. It just feels like I’ve evolved to a new or different level of spirituality that is more personal and internal rather than external. I’m not sure if any of this is making sense. I still care about the church and its teachings to a great degree.
My wife is very supportive. I’ve shared with her some of what is going on with me and she is so great about it. I don’t want to hurt her, my children or anybody for that matter. I’ve just got to take it slow. She has not had as much of the orthodox drift as I have. There has been some for her, but she hasn’t drifted to the point that she would be comfortable with me on here but I felt like I needed to.
I don’t want to share too many details becasue I’m trying to keep a low profile while I’m serving as bishop. I want to stay in the church. There are so many things that I love about it but there are things like many of you that are really difficult for me. I still really care about the church but it has been tough going through this while serving as bishop.
I’m trying to make the best of it and use what I have learned on here and NOM to be a better bishop and a greater blessing to my ward and seek out those who may be struggling or have questions and to stand with them. Mostly I just try have the pure love of Christ for all that I come in contact with as much as I can both in and out of the church.
I want you to know that I am very grateful for websites like this one. There is a lot of pain out there and I am glad that there are places people can turn to for support.
Thanks for all you’re doing. I’m pretty busy but I’ll try to post when I can. Thanks for having me on here.
Great to have you here. I’m glad people can appreciate what we’re trying to do here, and recognize the significance. I’m positive that you will be an even better bishop with your newly discovered worldview. Welcome!! What an interesting circumstance you are in. Like you’ve said, you are in such a great position to make a difference in the church with your new way of seeing things. I realize that not everyone who experiences a crisis of faith can stay in the church but I do feel that if more people would stay this church would evolve into something spectacular and be able to influence more people for good.
In my little mostly mormon town I have seen many Bishops quietly drop into the background after their time is up. I’ve always wondered why. Bishop burnout is a big factor I think but maybe their eyes see and hear things that change their once orthodox thinking and that changes the way they worship.
My hope for you is that you will find peace in your new worldview and that your desire to have the pure love of Christ for others will come to pass.
The Dalai Lama said, “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness”. I love that. If we all worked on that, what a world we would have.
Can’t wait to hear more from you.
Welcome Bishop Stealth! We all share a lot in common, making a transition in faith and perspective, but I am always so fascinated and impressed by how everyone goes through it different. It sounds like you are dealing with this in a positive way. I think similar ideas helped me along — seeing other people experience different religions and having that same sense they are experiencing real, truly valuable spirituality.
I’m not sure if you are familiar with Dr. Joseph Campbell’s work (Power of Myth, Hero with a Thousand Faces, etc.). It might be right up your alley. I am a big fan of his broad views on the real social and personal value of religious mythology. It is a great source for a non-literal, metaphorical (but very positive) view of Mormonism for me.
I would also like to echo the sentiment that someone like you, staying engaged in the Church, and especially in a position of leadership, you can have a huge impact on helping others … HUGE! I personally feel that sense of responsibility to my “tribe.”
Glad to have you here with us.
Welcome, BS. (Sorry, couldn’t help it.) 
I have had more than one ward and stake leader who would fit in here very well, so I am happy you are joining with us here.
Welcome! I’m glad you found us. Hopefully we can find ways to lift each other. It sounds like you have a great attitude, that is key. I like how you frame your journey as “evolved to a new or different level of spirituality that is more personal and internal rather than external.” I think that’s great! It reminds me of someone who in a personal conversation with Bushman quoting him as saying “don’t worry about your testimony changing, that’s what we call growing up.” Personally, as I picture a scenario as if you were my own bishop, I would hope that you can reconstruct a solid personal paradigm that fits within the LDS framework. I would hope that you become or remain comfortable self-identifying as Mormon, even as you shed cultural beliefs in favor of personally revealed beliefs. This is my own bias because I think it is the scenario where you will be the most help to other members of the church. I don’t like to see people view themselves as “outsiders” just because they don’t think like a majority. I think members should view themselves as true Mormons if they are willing to reach for higher ground, both personally and collectively. Revelation is personal after all. We are not cookie cut-outs.
Looking forward to hearing more from you, again welcome!
I would love having a bishop like you!! I might still be active if I had, but I have found God lead me to non-members who are so spiritual and have helped me growing spiritually. I find myself teaching them some lds teachings through the back door through their own Bible when difficult questions come up that they have no answers to. I know God truly loves all His children and this idea that Mormons have the constant companion of the Holy Ghost and non-Mormons don’t is False. I find so many I have met recently with the Holy Spirit so strong all the time with them. Kindest most loving people I have met in the Nazerene church here. But, I do believe the lds church has some good answers to spiritual questions that Evangelicals don’t. canadiangirl wrote:The Dalai Lama said, “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness”. I love that.
Great quote! I love that too.Welcome bish. Good to have you here. I served as a counselor to a bishop who felt much like you do. After being released he has decided to not be active anymore. To me, he is the same person, and titles like bishop or whatever do not describe the person, but I think it provides a unique opportunity to teach and serve others with love, especially youth.
I think you can do your calling wonderfully while searching less literal and more mystical meanings to church teachings, and who knows, maybe there is another individual who needs to hear your testimony to help them.
Anyway, thanks for joining the forum. I look forward to learning from you.
Quote:I started drifting from orthodoxy a few years ago when I began to see that there were non-mormons who were having spiritual experiences and seemed just as happy, if not more than myself and many members of the church.
I think this is key. And when you have a foundation like this for your new view, things are never going to be the same again. The church is still good, but it’s no longer your highest aim.
Quote:It just feels like I’ve evolved to a new or different level of spirituality
You popped out!
Quote:I’m trying to make the best of it and use what I have learned on here and NOM to be a better bishop and a greater blessing to my ward and seek out those who may be struggling or have questions and to stand with them.
Heaven bless you!
Welcome to our little corner of the world. Your words make me wonder how many lurkers are out there being reassured by our sharing. I hope that your participation here is satisfying and fruitful for you and your loved ones.
Thanks everyone. It’s really good to be here. Welcome, StealthBishop! I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts on the NOM board and look forward to your contributions and insights here as well, particularly how one navigates a heterodox path while in a position of leadership. StealthBishop, when you consider the assumptions that many of the members of your ward bring to their relationship with their bishop, I’m sure it puts a great burden on you to act honorably and morally in this situation. How would many of them react to learn of your emerging heterodox outlook? I’m sure there would be a well-represented contingency with a huge feeling of indignation and betrayal. What is your obligation in this situation to the principles of openness and integrity? How do you honor that? Do you resign your calling? Do you talk to your stake president? Do you simply start quoting the Bhagavad Gita and the Tao Te Ching in sacrament meeting? Or do you just start sticking more to the Sermon on the Mount and the Parables of Jesus and less to church leader statements? Whose responsibility is it to avoid offending “these little ones who believe in” Jesus?
My wife asked if I would bring up this issue.
Tom
Hi SB. Saw you at NOM. Welcome. It’s funny I started at NOM as well. I suppose it’s going backward in a lot of people’s “stages”. Anyway nice to have you here. BTW Depeche kicks! I, too, started at NOM. Back then there was no Stay LDS. NOM is a great community, and I like a lot of the folks over there (Dathon and Nom de Cypher, to mention a few). We’re just focused on a much more narrow part of the faith spectrum here.
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