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If one must be a project then I recommend that they be a thoughtful, considerate, and gracious project. Recently the RS pres. has asked us to get to know an inactive that had a miscarriage and has taken it very hard. We were asked because we had a similar experience. We went over and talked with the mom on the front porch and she seemed happy to meet us. DW invited the family over for dinner the next evening and also offered to come pick them up since they don’t have a car. DW spent a good portion of the next day cleaning the house and preparing the meal. When DW went to pick them up nobody came to the door.
It’s obvious that this family needs all the help that they can get but they also seem to be challenged in the “thoughtful, considerate, and gracious” department. I have suggested to DW that our efforts be less pregnant with expectation. We can stop by with a disposable Tupperware full of cookies or text them information on a cool community event – efforts that we can accept independent of their response. Otherwise it’s too easy to get burned out.
GBSmith wrote:An interesting flip side to this in our ward is that we no longer have home and visiting teachers. The idea is that people that are struggling need the attention and those that are doing ok don’t. My wife is is a true believer in the gospel though the church occasionally gives her some heart burn and nobody knows how I feel so they took us off the list. One of the values of keeping your opinions to yourself and staying under the radar but doesn’t make Sunday a day to look forward to.
Wow, that’s interesting. I’m struggling mightily, but hardly a soul knows it. I like being visit taught and visiting teaching because it helps me avoid extremes. For me it’s always been different than a “regular” calling. Visiting teaching requires for me a different kind of dedication. It’s sort of relentless (in a good way, I guess). I have to pace myself, accept that I get to know people slowly, and patiently set up conditions in which real friendship can grow.
GBSmith wrote:An interesting flip side to this in our ward is that we no longer have home and visiting teachers. The idea is that people that are struggling need the attention and those that are doing ok don’t. My wife is is a true believer in the gospel though the church occasionally gives her some heart burn and nobody knows how I feel so they took us off the list. One of the values of keeping your opinions to yourself and staying under the radar but doesn’t make Sunday a day to look forward to.
Are you in the UK? (‘GB’) is that the bishop/SP or area initiative?
The people who suck at this stuff often suck at missionary work too. They lack the empathy and imagination to see the perspective of someone who is in your shoes. It’s too bad, but there are a few people who go in search of the lost sheep only to end up accidently pushing that sheep off a cliff. mackay11 wrote:GBSmith wrote:An interesting flip side to this in our ward is that we no longer have home and visiting teachers. The idea is that people that are struggling need the attention and those that are doing ok don’t. My wife is is a true believer in the gospel though the church occasionally gives her some heart burn and nobody knows how I feel so they took us off the list. One of the values of keeping your opinions to yourself and staying under the radar but doesn’t make Sunday a day to look forward to.
Are you in the UK? (‘GB’) is that the bishop/SP or area initiative?
I’m in the pacific northwest and I think it’s a bishop/SP project. We’ve always have great home teachers in the 9 years I’ve been in this ward so I kind of miss them.
Quote:there are a few people who go in search of the lost sheep only to end up accidently pushing that sheep off a cliff.
Amen. Some people just aren’t good shepherds.
Also, I’ve known two in my life who had official finding responsibilities and weren’t pushing accidently. They were looking for reasons, any reasons, to remove people from the rolls of the Church. Luckily, they were told to knock it off when their leader found out what they were doing.
When it’s the leader doing the pushing . . .
Most people want to treat others like they want to be treated. That’s gets wonky sometimes, since some people want “tough love”, but most people who are active, if they think about it, would not want to be pushed out and removed from the rolls of the Church – so most people don’t look for excuses to do that to others, even if, because they just can’t understand inactivity in any other way, they have to find reasons and explanations for inactivity that reflect badly on those who don’t attend.
That frustrates me to a degree, but I understand that they just can’t see and understand the real reasons in most cases. They are sincere and as loving as they can be with their limited light and knowledge, just like I am. Aside from the active cliff-pushers, I can’t be mad at them. They are doing the best they can – and they really do care or they wouldn’t be trying.
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