I’m not fine with my new bishop….

[Anonymous]

A while back, I posted about the change in the bishopric of our ward. I mentioned that my wife and I had really come to appreciate and (dare I say it) love our old bishop. Well, the new bishop’s been in for six months…and I don’t like it. The problem is, he’s not done ANYTHING objectionable. He’s warm, tolerant, kind, helpful, concerned…all the things we want our local ecclesiastical leader to be. I can’t say he’s condescending (though he’s got the “funeral director” sort of interaction style that so many bishop wannabe’s cultivate.) But I don’t doubt his sincerity for a moment. I just don’t like him.

One problem is that he has a position of authority over my wife in her job and has been involved in some decisions at her place of work that she does NOT agree with. (They’re not bad decisions just decisions made from a different perspective.) That doesn’t help. But somehow, I don’t think that’s the thing. I think I am mourning the loss of a friend in our old bishop who’s new calling takes him out of the mainstream of our ward.

As a rule, I despise change anyway but this change has been harder for me to adjust to that I thought it would be. Again, I know the problem is me not our new bishop. Any suggestions for coping?

[Anonymous]

I know your feeling, Gerald.

It is kinda tough to deal with because there isn’t really much you can do.

From my experience, the best things to try to do is to tell yourself and talk to your wife about how you try to have faith in the gospel, and accept that imperfections are a part of the church. Separate out the church from gospel.

In some ways, that opens the door for lots of things because you know the bishop has his weaknesses, and yet the Lord can work through weak leaders. That approach can help work through lots of faith issues by accepting it.

I try to focus on the good things the imperfect leaders do, try to avoid the negative stuff too much, and remind myself that my church experience is going to be what I make of it, sometimes, despite others in the church. Church helps us practice these things.

[Anonymous]

You have done the most important thing: recognize and articulate the fact that it is grief and not actually the new Bishop.

[Anonymous]

I lost a really good BP. I mean really good. He got called up into the SP. It was a huge loss for the ward but he was called to a position where he could touch the lives of more people. It was bitter sweet. Maybe your BP is moving on to other callings where others will get to enjoy him.

Everything is impermanent, the good and the bad. It’s funny how reflecting on the impermanence of good can cause sorrow and reflecting on the impermanence of bad can bring hope.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the old Nursery Rhyme, written by Tom Brown, about his Bishop, Dr. Fell:

I do not love thee, Dr Fell,

The reason why I cannot tell;

But this I know, and know full well,

I do not love thee, Dr Fell. 🙄

My only suggestion for learning to love your Bishop is first, get on your knees and pray that you like him. When you talk with your wife, family, and others, say good things about him (even if you don’t mean it). Act like you love him, and soon enough you really will.

[Anonymous]

Good advice across the board! I’ll work on it! :thumbup:

[Anonymous]

I have been on the receiving end (like the Bishop) after I was transferred to Wards that had really charismatic missionaries. The investigators and members would get me — a quiet, introverted, dedicated, academic type. I was “no fun” compared to the other missionaries. One WML wanted me to be just like the old set in the YSA ward I was in — kind of fun, crazy, letting my hair down. I tried and it wasn’t me. It was fake.

So, consider giving him a bit of a break in spite of his lacklustre appearance next to the star bishop you used to have.

I also have grown used to change now — you have a great set of colleagues at work, and then they take another job. You are left with a different set of people, and its not as good. Your kids leave home, and you have a different culture in your family. You neighbors move away, and its not as good. The guys in your band move out of the city, and you find new people, but the music isn’t quite the same. It seems existing circles are always atophying and then we have to revitalize the edges….

I think accepting that change is part of life, and being adaptable and impervious to it from a happiness perspective, is a worthy goal. Something that makes you a rock and an island. My goal in the remainder of my life.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you take a deep breath and wait another 4.5 years.

Maybe now is a good time for you and your wife to do some visiting that you’ve been putting off.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

I think accepting that change is part of life, and being adaptable and impervious to it from a happiness perspective, is a worthy goal. Something that makes you a rock and an island. My goal in the remainder of my life.

I 100% agree….and I hate it! I’m a bit anxious by nature and change just makes me more so. But I think intellectually I have accepted that change is the only constant.

Quote:

Maybe now is a good time for you and your wife to do some visiting that you’ve been putting off.

Not a bad idea but probably not practical for the next 4.5 years (I don’t think I know enough people).

[Anonymous]

Gerald wrote:

Quote:

Maybe now is a good time for you and your wife to do some visiting that you’ve been putting off.

Not a bad idea but probably not practical for the next 4.5 years (I don’t think I know enough people).

Then go visit places!

[Anonymous]

I find indifference to church leaders allows me to appreciate their good qualities and ignore what I do not like.

I realize in the end the have no power over me

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Author]

Posts