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Have to share the most recent confirmation that we’re doing the right thing in not attending our Ward (we attend a different Ward than we live in; my children are active, my wife does regular assignments in the ward, but does not have a calling). Someone in our current geographical Ward (the Ward we left due to incompetence and other things) put a member of my family on their baptismal program wish list in a minor role (saying a prayer, conducting music). This was approved by the Bishop. Then a couple days later the baptismal family got a call from the Bishopric saying the member of my family on the program could not say the prayer or conduct music. This is because they are not attending the ward and are not a current TR holder.
We are actually active in a different Ward due to idiocy such as what you are reading here. That idiocy caused us to leave the Ward after repeated offences.
Now, the handbook does say that someone must have a TR to participate in Melchizedek Priesthood ordinances. At a baptismal ceremony, this would mean the confirmation. The Bishop, I suppose could prohibit someone from baptizing if he felt like it. But a prayer, or leading the music? Come on!! Is there any justification for this when the Bishopric hasn’t spoken to our family for a couple years, and we have no known obedience problems to the commandments other than tithing?
If I was bishop, I’d be thrilled this non-TR holder in my family, an active participant in another Ward. was invited by someone in our Ward to participate in a ceremony. It would be an opportunity to provide a welcoming attitude, potentially, help them have a spiritual experience in their home Ward, and connect with the Ward again. If I was a Bishop or Bishopric member, I would show that I was glad they had “come home” and who knows where it could lead?
Instead, they used the experience as a hammer, further alienating my family, showing disloyalty, and perpetuating the perception we have that our local leadership is incompetent. Sorry for the rant, but when we have experiences like these, it only confirms my perception that its best to find other organizations into which to put my disposable time. Our church has tendencies to sell out their members when they appear not to tow the line with policy on a moment’s thought, even when its not in the members’ best interest.
Also disconcerting is the fact that we paid the equivalent of a mortgage to the church in tithing over the years, put in long, repeated volunteer hours, and gave our souls to that organization for decades. And this is how they respond when we decide to attend another Ward due to bullying of our daughter, let our TR’s lapse due to commitment issues that developed from our experience in that Ward, and other problems people here are aware of.
The family who invited the member of my family to take part in the ceremony blasted the Bishopric and copied the Stake President. So, at least there is some semblance of rationality in this.
Comments? In a year they will want to ordain my son a deacon. Although an Aaronic Priesthood Ordinance, this is an indication of what is likely to come if I approach our own Bishop to make this happen. I have the feeling I will simply not initiate the ordinance unless my son starts demanding it (unlikely). Yes, we have a church that demands obedience but shows very little loyalty to its members in return.
-sigh- Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
Wow, SD, that’s unbelievable. All I can say is that I am sorry that you and your family are going through such treatment and that I hope things improve. We aren’t suffering. Its more amusing than anything because we left this ward due to issues like these. We have no emotional investment in the Ward at all, so its more funny than anything, but also confirmatory of the sell-out mentality we see so much in our church. I honestly wish the church could figure out some way of attracting and retaining competent people to lead the Wards. They require so darn much money and commitment, but seem unwilling to invest in making the experience of being a member positive. Do they actually care? Anyway,you don’t have to answer this.
I heard that one of the baptismal families stood up to the BPric and they responded with a nasty email, which then escalated to the SP, who then sided with the baptismal family. The SP is sending his counselor to the baptism to make sure it goes smoothly, and surprise, surprise, even suggested the emails from the BP sounded like unrighteous dominion in spots. The baptismal family was also able to share the fact they’ve kept their mouths shut about this BP for 3.5 years but now, it was time to tell all as it was affecting the activity of their own family. This sounds very much against church culture which adopts a head-in-the-sand approach to bad leadership, covered in a thick coating of pollyannaism and covenants not to speak up when one has issue with leaders.
Given the SP’s reaction, perhaps there is hope after all. At least its not incompetent all the way up to the Stake level.
We say that it’s only “one person” or “a local problem”, but I’ve seen enough of these kinds of silly things to believe its a systemic problem.
Wow is all I can say. I feel sorry for the people in that ward. I’ve told this story before. There was a Bishop in our Stake many years ago that was so full of himself, that the members stated to leave in droves, and the SP had to remove him after just two years. The members got to vote with their feet, and it worked! I’m sorry for this behavior SD. SilentDawning wrote:Now, the handbook does say that someone must have a TR to participate in Melchizedek Priesthood ordinances. At a baptismal ceremony, this would mean the confirmation. The Bishop, I suppose could prohibit someone from baptizing if he felt like it. But a prayer, or leading the music? Come on!! Is there any justification for this when the Bishopric hasn’t spoken to our family for a couple years, and we have no known obedience problems to the commandments other than tithing?
In my own daughter’s baptism, she wanted her friends mother to give the closing prayer. This was approved even though DD’s friend and her mother are not members of our church.
OTOH, it seems that broad discretion is given to the bishop. I have heard of bishops refusing to perform marriages if they don’t like the circumstances or refusing to move the ward SM in the normal ward rotation. Usually the most flagrant abuses of this discretion result in the individual being released – but that doesn’t mean they weren’t within their authority while they held the calling.
Bonkers! At Don Bradley’s rebaptism he got one the (excommunicated) “September 6” to lead the music. She later rejoined the church. (Jan Phillips????)
What cwald said. This is the stuff that upsets me. Stupidity.
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