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My 2nd grade son asks many thoughtful questions about church/religion/god. “Why is there god?” “Where does god live?” “How does god hear our prayers?” “Can god see everything we do?” These are some of the questions he would ask when he was around 5. I struggled answering those questions and felt bad that I wasn’t able to have a healthy conversation about them at the time. This was before my FC. Also, he was 5, and nuanced answers weren’t going to be recieved well anyway. And I think honestly, that his simple, child-like questions sparked some of the cognitive dissonance I obtained leading up to my FC. More recently he asks a lot about why nobody seems to go to church on Sunday. He sees store parking lots full of cars and none of his friends at school go to our church. He often asks why they don’t go. I usually answer that not everybody believes the same way we do, and that’s okay. They’re still good people, but we feel that it’s important to do things our way because it makes us happy. He also asks questions about why we can’t do certain things on Sunday: go to the store-no. Go to the park-yes. Go swimming-no. Watch t.v.-yes. It’s confusing to him and I feel bad. I am of course bound to be fair and respectful to my wife’s values, which is why I maintain the above answers, but I feel bad for him. He’s very sincere and innocent. And I believe confused. I think his “shelf” is piling up at a very young age. What would you do in my case? How would you answer? Also, it’s not for a year, but how would you approach baptism with him?
Ah, if only kids came with an instruction book! Honestly I can’t be of much help to you in answering some of these questions. I’ve always been very comfortable with just saying I don’t know in answer to many of these types of questions, but my kids were never overly inquisitive of me on those types of things. I have pointed out that just because people go to another church they aren’t bad or going to hell, though. Other people having other beliefs is a legitimate answer, but I don’t answer anything like “they just haven’t found the truth yet.” I really answered to address the baptism question. I made a huge mistake by not baptizing my youngest when I was in crisis. If you don’t baptize him or allow him to be baptized you will regret it. My current view is that baptism is simply symbolic anyway and there is no harm done by following tradition or the wishes of your family. If he is to develop faith in God/Christ he must do so on his own and the baptism really doesn’t affect that.
Quote:He also asks questions about why we can’t do certain things on Sunday
My answer for this one is that when we make Sunday different than other days, it makes it even more restful for us and other people, a more special day. But how we make Sunday special is different in each family. That’s not a BS answer. I have found the older I get that having different rules for what we do on Sunday really does make it more restful than other days. But I don’t have the same rules as my siblings do in their families. It doesn’t so much matter what the rules are for Sunday, if the end result is that it makes the day more restful for your family.
I answer my children’s questions honestly, geared toward what I believe to be their level of understanding. It’s not easy, but it is that simple. I absolutely would baptize your son. The benefits FAR outweigh the negatives, in my mind. It’s something you will never have the chance to do over if you regret not doing it down the road, and I love the symbolism, even if so many members take it literally. It can be a wonderful experience and it doesn’t have to be negative in any way.
If this isn’t already happening — get consensus between you and your wife about what Sunday means, and why, and then share that with him. I like Hawk’s answer, because it is very general and applicable to a wide variety of “rules” about Sunday. I would also explain that baptism means you want to live the kind of good life that Christ lived. And then any of the other doctrinal reasons you think he might understand.
I think it is good to be able to answer with “I don’t know for sure.” Kids seem to accept that. It’s also good to boomerang it back to kids…”why do you think?” Sometimes their responses can be cute to see where they are at and how they think.
Teaching them we don’t know everything and so we should not judge others is a great lesson for kids to learn as they form their thinking about the world around them.
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